Oka Bama

Dear President-elect Obama or Oka Bama as my son calls you,

I knew you were going to win.

You know why?

You won the mock elections in all our neighboring schools, elementary through high school, prior to November 4. In Virginia. A state that hasn't voted a Democrat into the White House in 44 years. In a county that typically votes red.

Yup. I knew it.

So...since the parents kids had spoken, I knew it was a done deal.

Here's the irony, my kindergartner voted for McCain, but he was dancing the jig when he found out you, Mr. Oka Bama had won. Because he just wants to say Oka Bama, for the next 4 years. It's kind of like having a favorite football team because you like their helmets.

So Senator Obama, Mr. Obama, Mr. Oka Bama, President-elect Obama, oh heck, can I just call you Barack? It certainly has been a historic week for you and your family and this country. I have to say it is kind of exciting to see what kind of changes you're going to make. As a part of the Evangelical Christian vote, I'm not gonna go all Chicken Little on you now that the Republicans have lost control of everything. I'll hop on board the I-have-to-support-you-because-I'm-an-American too-and-thankfully-you-aren't-Hillary-Clinton-bandwagon, because that's the right thing to do. Now don't get all excited. You know I didn't vote for you. You are way too liberal for me. But you're a'ight as a person. I like you. Yet, I'm a little worried about you keeping all those promises you made because I still don't think you said HOW you're going to keep all those promises you made. And since we're being honest here, I just gotta tell ya, I don't like your running mate much, but since you are young and healthy, I don't think we need to worry about saying the words President...choke choke...Biden anytime soon. Unless of course, you don't quit smoking.

Uh yeah, about that.

Have you quit yet? Because if not, you have to quit that stinky stanky habit.

Seriously.

Is that why Michelle gives you fist pumps instead of kisses?

And really, don't you think you're smoking is gonna leave a funk in the White House and Air Force One? Do your girls know about your nasty habit? And don't even start with me....It's nothing like my diet coke with a fresh lemon wedge addiction. I can stop that anytime. Yup sure can.

Excuse me while I take a sip.

About your girls. They really are cutie patooties. The Washington Post is reporting that all the hoity toity schools in the area are begging you to enroll your kids in their school. Can I ask you something? Do you write that check for tuition yourself? Or do I buy that $20,000 a year education at Sidwell Friends or St.Albans or the Maret School? Just curious.

Back to the schools. You really don't need to put the girls in a private school. I know of a highly rated PUBLIC school about 25 miles west of the White House that would love to edumakate your girls. We have top notch security here, too. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I'm top security dawg on Friday afternoons. Yeah, I'm sitting in the lobby of my kids' school buzzing people in as we speak. (Well, I was when I first started this post. ) I only let anyone in that has ID...if it says ID, I let 'em in. No one gets past me. No sirree. So I can totally handle your gum-shoe security detail.

And while you are running the biggest, wealthiest, and most blessed nation in the free world, I can hang with Michelle. We can talk about being Mom's in our mid-forties with elementary age kids. We can sip wine, talk "Twilight" and "The Office," hang out on the soccer field with our girls. Do your girls play soccer? Oh they will once they move here. It's a requirement. I'll invite all the other ladies in the 'hood that read my blog, and we can introduce Michelle to the world of Mommy blogging. We'll just set up laptops in my house, have a blogfest, organize PTO fundraisers, find a breeder for the First Puppy you've promised your daughters, design an exit strategy for the troops in Iraq and get Wall Street back on track. Us mommies are good at multi-taking, ya know. Michelle could also join us in Bunco once a month. She just needs a little bit of cash for that. Speaking of which, do the President and First Lady carry cash? Because I really can't see you all whipping out dollar bills at the 7-11 for Big Gulps, slurpees and cheese doodles en route to anywhere. And do you have a credit card? It's Amex isn't it? When does the President pull out the AMEX? Do you ever have to pay for anything? Do you have direct deposit? Do you or your wife shop online? How does that work when you type in 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue on the order form? And when was the last time you drove a car? I'll bet you zip around in a Range Rover dontcha? If you're ever out in the Virginia suburbs, honk and wave....and watch the speed limit.

As you see, I have alot of questions, Mr. Obama. None of which pertain to anything important, but I'd love to sit down and chat with you about more unimportant things. We'll leave the important stuff to another day.

In light of that, I'll have my peeps get in touch with your peeps. Wait, I don't have peeps. Oh well.

Regards,

Debbie


Hey bloggy friends...what would you ask President-elect Obama if you could?