Late night snack?

Warning: If you are eating right now, finish up and then read. If you are hungry, you won't be in minute. If you are dieting, just remember this story the next time you are craving a late night snack.


Consider yourselves warned. I'm not kidding. You think I'm kidding? Well, keep eating and let me know what happens.


Last week while waiting in line at a fan fest to get an NHL game-used-hockey stick (that my husband bought for me) autographed by my favorite Washington Capitals hockey player that used the stick, (I told you I loved sports.) I struck up a conversation with the woman in front of me. We hit it off right away, and it made the two hour wait more bearable (not a word people, not a word). She was very interesting, was huge hockey fan, worked in production for Discovery TV, lived on Capitol Hill, wasn't married and was 36. Normal enough. So as we were talking, I noticed that she kept putting her finger in her ear, then kind of balling the wax up between two fingers and putting it her pocket. What is she doing? She did not do what I think she just did? Don't gag, don't flinch, don't let on that you noticed. Please say that didn't just happen. Lovely thoughts, think lovely thoughts, Debbie: the smell of Tide, a glass of wine, the yummy lunch I was going to eat. Oh don't think of that when you just watched someone who was saving ear wax for, what, a late night snack?

Then it happened.

In a move that will forever be burned into my mind's eye. An image I will never shake.

She took her index finger, scooped something out of her ear and popped it in her mouth.

Oh, yes she did.

All while looking straight at me.

It took everything in me to pretend I didn't notice and even more restraint not to scrunch up my face in horror and yell, "EWWWWW, that's so disgusting. What's wrong with you? " Instead, I was stunned. I didn't throw up in my mouth like I wanted to. I didn't laugh. I didn't gag. I didn't scream. I couldn't think. I didn't do anything. I just kept talking. Certainly this had to be a joke. No one does that. Oh, okay I get it. Where's Ashton and the Punk'd cameras? Surely they were about to arrive, right? Nope. Nothing. Instead, she was all la di da continuing the conversation as. if. nothing. had. happened.

Then it all sunk in.

I just witnessed a 36 year old woman eat ear wax. For real.

And now that I've typed those words,

I think I'm gonna be sick.