Friday, June 13, 2008

You've been invited to.....

A couple of weeks ago, I read with great interest in the local section of our newspaper that despite rising gas prices, increased unemployment, declining home prices, and overall concern about the health of our economy, that there is one thing in the county that I live in that has not declined and yes, is in fact thriving and on the rise. And, it's not charitable giving. Oh no. This is so far from philanthropic. Do you know what it is? I'll give you a hint in the way of re-telling a story that happened to me on my birthday last fall:

And this, my friends, is a true story:

I dropped The Prince off at school school one day last October, and the minute he walked into the class he announced to everyone that today was his Mommy's birthday. When you are turning 4 it is a big deal...when you are turning 44, not so much. One of the mom's who I'm acquainted with immediately said "Happy Birthday" and gave me a hug. We then left the class, walked outside and she stopped me, looked left, then looked right as if to make sure no one was around or was listening and asked:

"Would you be interested in..."

(at this point I'm thinking she is going to ask about a play date, lunch, etc.)

Nope. She says "BOTOX?"

I'll repeat that for you, "Would you be interested in BOTOX?"

I was about to bust out laughing because she was dead serious, and my first thought was, really, who wants to hear that on the day they are officially in their mid forties, and secondly, I know I have laugh lines, but I don't think I am at the point of needing injections of artificial-I-don't-know-what yet.

At this point, I'm trying so hard not to laugh because I don't think she grasped the irony of asking me that on my birthday. So here's the conversation I had in my head: "Sad thoughts, think sad thoughts so you don't laugh, think sad thoughts so you don't laugh. Ohmygosh, Ohmygosh, I cannot believe she just asked me that." Still looking to her left and then to her right to make sure no one else was around and listening, she told me that she was having a BOTOX party at her house on Sunday! (You know Sunday morning, when I am usually being fed and taught the word of God.) And then as if she felt I needed more convincing, she told me it is "all the rage in L.A. according to the E! channel." Oh, she doesn't know me at all. That is so not a convincing argument for me. And what made her think I care about that stuff anyway? I don't. I mean I really don't. Then of course, because I can't control myself said,

"What are you gonna just shoot up right there in your living room? "

Yup, right there in her living room with the plastic surgeon kind-of-ex-boyfriend of her best friend. EX-BOYFRIEND? EX-BOYRFRIEND? You're kidding right. I can see the headline now:

"Plastic surgeon ex-boyfriend seeks revenge on ex-girlfriend by injecting five suburban housewives with diet coke and lemon at Botox party held in the suburbs. "


Still not being able to control myself, I ask "Is he a real plastic surgeon? "

She was adamant that "Oh yeah, oh yeah he's a doctor, board certified and everything."

It sounded like the whole thing was on the down-low because, don't you need things to be clean and sterile with one of those hospital beds and tools? And, it's kind of weird to think you can be snuggling up reading "Thomas the Tank Engine" with your kids on the couch one minute and getting injections of a little something something in the very same spot hours later. Kinda creepy if you ask me.

Then I kind of laughed and told her I wasn't into any of that as it just wasn't for me, but thanks for the offer anyway. (I think) Then she told me not to say anything to anyone. And, I didn't. Well, except to you all. But, you live in my laptop so that doesn't count. Right?

Ah yes friends, Botox parties and in-and-out boobie jobs are thriving here in my neck of the woods according to that article in the paper. I've been to Southern Living, Pampered Chef, Tupperware, Creative Memories and Silpada jewelry parties, but a BOTOX party is a whole other level of, of, of , I don't know what. For me personally, I'll just age the way I'm supposed to, well, with a teeny weeny, oh let's face it, ALOT of help from my color lady every 6-7 weeks.

So would you, wouldn't you, have you or "I'm not telling you"?

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36 Comments:

Julie said...

I remember that post. I guess I am a true friend :) Ha ha. I don't have the need yet...well, I guess in a couple of areas... but Zach wouldn't let me. He wants us to grow old...and look our age. He doesn't like anything fake or plastic...only real things. So, I have never even really thought about it. I can't imagine paying money for it. With the dollar so weak, I need that money for groceries! ha ha

Heather said...

I'm not against Botox and if someone offered it to me for free, I'd try it. I wouldn't go to a party, though, because I'm like you. It just doesn't sound very sterile.

Gina said...

I will nEVER go to a passion party or a botox party. So don't bother to ask me.

Cindy said...

My reaction would have been the same as yours - and the whole party atmosphere is kinda gross.

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.
Billie Burke

Jennifer P. said...

"Think sad thoughts"---hilarious!!! That's what I had to do at the dentist the other day when they asked if I'd had plastic surgery!

Yeah---ex-boyfriends shooting me up with botchulism poison in the comfort of my own home....not so much!

Kat said...

As usual, you have tickled my funny bone. This is a reeeeeally funny story. I must say I do have mixed emotions about growing older. I would never ever, ever go to a "Botox Party". That is just sad. However, if left to myself, I'd love to get rid of my varicose veins. I'd love for my boobs not to sag so LOW. But I'm not left to myself. And my dear hubby would never have me have any of that done. And you are so right. This really has become a big deal. My OB/GYN office that I've been going to for 10 years and that I LOVE recently started offering Botox, Varicose Vein/Spider Vein repair, chemical peels, etc., etc., etc.

Katy Lin :) said...

this is hillarious! - and i am also so not interested in having the good "doctor" shoot me up in a living room - or any room for that matter that is not in a clean hospital or clinic - and botox, not sure . . .

Sissy said...

I don't think I would want things injected into my face. Other parts of my body, maybe, but my face? Scary.

I believe in prevention. I faithfully wear my sunblock, moisturizer and thank God for the good genes I have that will keep me young (looking.)

veronica said...

No way no how! I am not for artificial anything. My laugh lines show that I have had a great life so far! We'll just keep it that way.

Debbie said...

I love that Veronica! That is what I'm going to call my laugh lines from now on....great life lines!

Kimberley said...

Never! We're talking about botulism here people! I know of too many plastic surgery foul-ups to even consider it! Permanently paralyzed faces, permanent facial nerve damage, deflated and leaking implants, and sadly, a liposuction gone horribly wrong resulting in the death of a 33 year old mother of 3 children, one of whom was only 6 months old! Who would perform liposuction on a post-partem mother?!?!?!?

Nope, not for me. I'll stick with my wrinkles, sags, and age spots!

Trish said...

No way!!!! I don't even let MD's inject my children with chemicals all in the name of vaccinations (yep, theres a controversy!).

I am who I am because God designed me this way..........and like my mommma always used to say "God don't make junk".

Good for you for sayin no and choosin to worship and be fed by your maker instead.

Elena said...

Funny! Oh boy....what is the world coming to? I was thinking that maybe if it was a tummy-tuck party I might be interested. But then I read that awful story above about the young mom dying. No thanks. I'll stay fat, wrinkled, happy, and alive.

Kimba said...

My jaw is hanging open! You handled it much better than I would have. I would have been cracking up! And probably said something really helpful like, "Botox in your living room? Are you out of your mind?"

And by the way...that picture is surely going to give me nightmares tonight. Thanks. I'll give you a call when I'm awake at 3am. ;-)

Kristi said...

Oh my, that stuff is not for me. As far as I know my friends are aging naturally right along with me. I like it that way!

Lee Ann said...

So...I try to never say never :-).....but a part? NEVER!!!

Teri said...

Oh, now way in H...E...double-hockey sticks (<==my polite way of cussing, hehe). Oh course, if I could just find flesh-colored duck tape, I could tape my boobies up just a tad. You know, at least a little above my knees.

Lula! said...

Botox in the 'Burbs. I love you, I love it, and I love your reaction.

No Botox for me. But an in-and-out boob job? Awwwwww, yeah. I don't want 'em bigger (they're already brought to you by the letter D and the number 38!), but I would like them lifted and resorted to their former perky status. Breastfeeding 2 girls for 1 year apiece has left these formerly Playboy-status beauties hanging to my knees. So yeah...bring on the boob work, please!

Have I mentioned my THING for boobs? In a non-lesbian way. There's a future post in here somewhere.

Lula! said...

OHMYHEAD...RESTORED, not resorted. I don't want 'em on my back, or positioned on either side of my head. One day I will learn to proofread. But not today.

Mrs. R said...

No botox for me. The boobs...sign me up. And, the passion party? That changed my life. Seriously.

insane mama said...

I worked for a plastic surgeon awhile back and he offered to "pay" me in Botox, it was tempting, but I needed the money more! Seems weird, botox party in a house?
Now, a boob job... I'm in.
Strange how these comment parties seem to change everything around...
You didn't even mention boobs and now everyone is talking about them.

EEEEMommy said...

That is hysterical and yet scary! I remember always feeling like crap when I would take my kids to the swimming pool until a friend told me that "all" the women scheduled their c-sections and then there tummy-tucks immediately afterward. Yeah, 4 kids and no tummy tuck can't compete with that!

I appreciate your praying for me today!

Life With My 3 Boybarians said...

Eeeek. No way.

If I need to do something like that (not likely), I'd like for it to be in the sterile environment and covert location of a PS's office.

Botox party?! I even question the products at a *purse* party and that doesn't purposefully inject poison in my face.

that pic was HILARIOUS though. Oh, takl about PS gone wrong... poor thing.

HeathahLee said...

No way...no stinkin' way, would I let somebody's ex-dude come at my face with a needle. Now, I have been considering...in about 10 years or so...maybe...(whispers)a brow lift? I have very hooded eyes, and I noticed the other day that they seem a bit more "hooded" than I remembered. My husband said that might be something to think about, but not necessarily for looks only...it could possibly interfere with my vision. And I can dream of a boobie lift, but I can tell you right now that's not going to happen.

Sarah Mae said...

I WANT to say "no way!" But I'm only 28, so do I know what I'll be thinking at say, 48? I really really really hope I don't every do it though...something very creepy about stiff faces...

LaDeana said...

Hi. I just found your blog from another that I was reading. I am also a sah christian mom. I hope you dont mind but I put you in my daily reads. I just started blogging and I love it. I chuckled myself at the nerve some people have and the fact that nearly everyone feels they need to alter who they are. I think I will just grow old gracefully (well, maybe with the help of a little dye and maybe some Olay) =) Have a Blessed Day!

Connie said...

I just think the approach was incredibly tasteless. To take a person at their most vulnerable moment... (hey, face it our birthdays make us aware of the aging process)...the secrecy and all, the whole thing just seems so, "back-door-abortion-clinic-ish". I can see her standing on a street corner in a trenchcoat pulling random middle-aged women aside, "pssst...hey you...ya wanna little BOTOX FOR CHEAP?" Keep quiet now and just show up at my place on Sunday morning. CREEPY!
Hey I just wanna know how come I didn't get invited? I'm 44 too!

Tracey said...

Ewwwwwwwww yuck! Botox is disgusting. Why would I inject botulism into my skin? It is POISON people!

If grey hair is a crown of splendor, which I believe it is since Proverbs 16:31 says so, then I believe my wrinkles are too and I plan to wear every last wrinkle as a crown.

p.s. I'm not sayin' I'm against a little hair dye, it's just not for me because I am too lazy and too cheap to keep up with coloring my hair.

Feathering My Nest said...

Oh my goodness Debbie. BOTOX comes from the word botulism, you know, the deadliest substance on the planet? It has TOX in it meaning toxic. Good grief that "Cat Woman," whom I truly do feel sorry for, may not have many wrinkles, but she has lost her human appearance and any sort of prettiest is out-right GONE. How sad. She can't even cry about it. Or, at least show her sorry in facial expression.

I want to grow old gracefully. I love the way Miss Daisy looked in "Driving Miss Daisy." They even asked Jessica Tandy to have her age spots removed when filming it. She said, "What for I am playing the part of an old lady and I am that old lady."

You are a smart cookie to avoid that lady at the school. I hope she doesn't begin looking like the Cat Woman. Have a great evening, Kathi

Emily said...

That cat woman is one of the scarriest people I have ever seen. I saw a picture of her eating spaghetti once and it was quite disturbing.

I've had LOTS of doctors and plastic surgeons tell me to get botox treatements for my scar on my forehead, but I'm not sure I'm to that point yet... espically at a tupperware party type setting... that's as frightening as the cat woman wating spaghetti!

Karen said...

Ewwwww ... Cat Woman. Saw her in person once and in the flesh she looks even worse than her photos. One thing I remember about that moment, was the fear in the faces of some of the kids.

Double 'Ewwwww' for Botox...

I might think about a tummy tuck after I finish my weight loss journey.

Feathering My Nest said...

Hi Debbie, I was just over at Gina's and heard you say something about SITS. What's that?

Oh, my goodness, that Cat Woman, is such a sad sad case. She looks like she's been through a terrible fire and the doctors did the best they could. To think, this was what she asked them to do!!! She willingly did all this!! I wonder what she'd look like right now had she never gone under the knife. Too bad she doesn't have a twin sister we could compare her with. Truly saaaaaaaaaaaad. I wonder if she likes it? Or does she express grief in interviews?

Happy Monday to ya, Kathi

Feathering My Nest said...

Oh I must add one more thing....BOTOX......botulism.......Toxic...BOTCH....Toxic-Botch-job...

Christine said...

Lol - could you only imagine what that would look like? no one would be able to laugh b/c all of their facial expressions are frozen in permanent shock.

Oh boy...

Julie said...

I found you from Becoming Me's blog.

I turned 50 this year. It was my year of jubliee... I decided to enter into who I was. I stopped coloring my gray/white hair. To be honest with you I didn't know how much I had under all that color...and was surprised to see it as it came out...

But here's what I was thinking....I AM 50 years old.
I have a "crown of splendor" as the scriptures say.
Why not own it? I am not 30 years old any longer.
Yet often the 30 year olds see me in that age... It was time for me to entering into the "older woman" phase of life.... so I let it all wash out... And you know what. People stop me all the time and tell me how beautiful my hair is. Funny, no one ever stopped me when I was a light golden brown out of the bottle.

I guess my crown of splendor is shining. : )

Forget the botox and plastic surgery...these lines and hairs are what I have accomplished through living life..

Julie

Michelle said...

You are KIDDING me. Botox party? Seriously? OMG what's wrong with people? I don't think I would have been able to stop laughing. In fact, I may have been exiled from the preschool. The ladies who lunch in my area I'm sure are starting the "treatments" or will be soon. Good for you for turning it down!