Tuesday, May 20, 2008

One last time, pretty please.

Don't leave! I'm doing this as a service to my real life friend Julie in Budapest, Hungary who has to download Idol and watch it on the computer, yeah, uh huh, that's it. You buyin that? You shouldn't. Just indulge me this one last time because it will be 8 months before I get to hear the following words again:

by Ryan:
Hi, I'm Ryan Seacrest and this is A-MERiCan Idol
Please say hello to our judges....
The phone lines will be open for...
Please dial or text....

by Randy:
Dawg, you can sing the phonebook.
Dawg that was molten hot.
Dawg you are in it to win it, baby.
Dawg that was just a'ight for me.
Yo Dawg, so check it out, check it out.
Dawg, I've been saying this for weeks...
Dawg, it was a little pitchy especially at the high notes, but it was a'ight.

by Paula:
You are who you are.
You are the colors of the rainbow.
There you are standing in the truth. (Oh yeah, that was tonight's goodie)
You have a beautiful wonderful instrument.
It wasn't your best performance, but you look beautiful.
You, my dear have arrived. And I applaud you.
You, uh, are, oh, just, so , oh, I, just, want to squish you so that your head pops off and I can dangle it from my car mirror. (Did that make sense? No? Good. It wasn't supposed to.)

by Simon:
That was utterly horrible.
That was utterly fantastic.
That was completely and utterly horrible.
That was completely and utterly fantastic.
That was completely and utterly the wrong song choice for you.
We are at the point in the competition where...
I just don't see any improvement...
If I were you, I'd pack my bags....SORRY.

by Me:
Ryan wore more eyeliner and make-up tonight than I did.
The whole boxing thing was, how shall I say this...L-A-M-E.
Nokia must have paid big bucks for product placement at the Nokia Theater, you know the company, Nokia, that sells Nokia electronics or Nokia phones or Nokia whatever. Oh you didn't hear? The show was at the Nokia theater.
Did anyone catch Luke Perry in the audience? Yup, fresh from the Peach Pit.
What's wrong with this picture: Ryan commented that the title of American Idol is only reserved for superstar status while the screen flashed pictures of Kelly Clarkson (winner), Carrie Underwood (winner), AND Chris Daughtry (tisk tisk. He never held the title of American Idol but is a certifiable superstar). Oh I smell controversy. (In my best sing song voice: Idol dissed the other winners, nanny nanny boo boo.)

(From here on out, David Archuletta is "Little David" and David Cook is "Big David."

Do you think Andrew Lloyd Webber has a crush on Little David?
Big David as gone from gooberish to rock star before our very eyes.
Does Little David really only weigh 100 lbs?
Does Little David's Dad give anyone else the creeps?
The second song Big David sang (fan written contest song) sounded like it was about to break into the melody from "Jessie's Girl."
Those fan written songs they had to sing were awful...just awful...think bubble gum and cheap perfume.
Little David was phenomenal tonight. His version of "Imagine" is better than John Lennon's. Oh geez, was that heretical to say? Because aren't the Beatles kind of like Bruce Springsteen. Ya gotta just nod your head and pretend you like them...or else.
Big David's last song was amazing. Gave me the goosebumps.
I thought both David's were going to start crying. Oh wait, they did.

And finally, here is my prediction:

Little David wins.
BUT, Big David really wins.

So now, I bid you adieu, au revoir, good night.

Your thoughts?

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Trish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trish said...

oops that was me.........sorry.

My comment said:

Thank you.

You saved me 56 minutes.

Same time tomorrow??

paperjunk-lc said...

I have a confession I haven't watched AI since Kelly Clarkson won. I'm not good with reality shows. I never even watch Survior. Give me a Grays Anatomy or Mediuum. (i think my husband and I am only ones who watch Medium)

After looking at all of the promo's for the summer shows looks like I've got a long summer of reality shows!

Sissy said...

I agree with your assessment. Little David whatever will win, but Big David will actually be the one that has a career beyond one CD. Like Daughtry, he will make music, write music, play his own music, and be relevant to the music industry.

Sometimes I hate this show.

But, in it's absence, I get So You Think You Can Dance, which is my absolute favorite summer show. I wish I could dance.

Heather said...

YES, yes and yes and yes. Oh, you captured it beautifully, Debbie.

I agree that little David will win because (much to my dismay) he smoked big David last night. I want Cook to win SO badly, but he almost didn't even try last night. Archuletta is just so stupid sounding during interviews. He flares his nostrils and acts like he can't say anything other than "gosh" and "uhm" and "I dunno." His crazy dad should've pushed him to have a personality a little harder.

Having said that, though, big David seems to be getting a little...I don't know...cocky? I mean, he should because I will TOTALLY buy his album despite his unusually bulbous head (physically, have you noticed? Watch him the next time he stands next to Ryan). I just don't want him to get all conceited with his talent. I think he'll be BIG, though. Archuletta will be another...who's the ugly guy on Spamalot right now?? I forget his name.


Kat said...

It's the year of covering covers. David A's Imagine...wasn't John Lennon's version, but Eva Cassidy's. Just like David C's "hello" was the Incubus version; and "Billie Jean" was Chris Cornell's version. Even David C's Eleanor Rigbey was Doxology's version. Wish they would give credit..

Anyway...I think the judges are deaf. They didn't hear what I heard. David C was great. He'll sell CDs. David A can join Clay on Spamalot. They could make Seyesha (or however you spell her name) the Laker girl.

(And we watch Medium :-) )

Gina said...

Oh, Praise be to God that I don't have to read one of these for another 8 months. Actually, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't even know what ANYONE was talking about- ever.

T-Luh said...

I'm not just indulging you...I like your AI recaps. The thing that made me literally LOL was "Did anyone catch Luke Perry in the audience? Yup, fresh from the Peach Pit." You are too funny! Thanks for cracking me up!

Julie said...

Thanks Debbie, I appreciate it... and to all your faithful readers, I am the real life Julie...and I do come here to read what happened! I just downloaded it and will watch it. I haven't the past couple of weeks for your excellent commentaries Debbie...but since this is the final, I guess I should watch. Thanks again!

Kori said...

David A. definately has this season of AI in the bag. Although David Cook will be better off cause he will not be tied to AI and he will be able to go out and imediately start his career. So I gues he would be the real winner. Doesn't matter to me either way they both are awesome. I am sure we will be seeing big things from the both of them.

Mrs. Romero said...

I didn't watch cause I knew you would and I knew your rendition would be way better than the original.. you never fail to please!

Standing in the Truth... what? She is reading way to many self help books.

I don't even want to know about the boxing thing, cause little David is more like a sideshow act than a boxer. That was mean. Sorry.

Kelly said...

Yep Big david is just a winner all around......no doubt.....


Jennifer P. said...

My thoughts EXACTLY! Little David becomes the next Taylor Hicks while Big David rules the airwaves.

I like you better than AI ;)!

Mrs. Romero said...
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