Don't leave! I'm doing this as a service to my real life friend Julie in Budapest, Hungary who has to download Idol and watch it on the computer, yeah, uh huh, that's it. You buyin that? You shouldn't. Just indulge me this one last time because it will be 8 months before I get to hear the following words again:
Hi, I'm Ryan Seacrest and this is A-MERiCan Idol
Please say hello to our judges....
The phone lines will be open for...
Please dial or text....
Dawg, you can sing the phonebook.
Dawg that was molten hot.
Dawg you are in it to win it, baby.
Dawg that was just a'ight for me.
Yo Dawg, so check it out, check it out.
Dawg, I've been saying this for weeks...
Dawg, it was a little pitchy especially at the high notes, but it was a'ight.
You are who you are.
You are the colors of the rainbow.
There you are standing in the truth. (Oh yeah, that was tonight's goodie)
You have a beautiful wonderful instrument.
It wasn't your best performance, but you look beautiful.
You, my dear have arrived. And I applaud you.
You, uh, are, oh, just, so , oh, I, just, want to squish you so that your head pops off and I can dangle it from my car mirror. (Did that make sense? No? Good. It wasn't supposed to.)
That was utterly horrible.
That was utterly fantastic.
That was completely and utterly horrible.
That was completely and utterly fantastic.
That was completely and utterly the wrong song choice for you.
We are at the point in the competition where...
I just don't see any improvement...
If I were you, I'd pack my bags....SORRY.
Ryan wore more eyeliner and make-up tonight than I did.
The whole boxing thing was, how shall I say this...L-A-M-E.
Nokia must have paid big bucks for product placement at the Nokia Theater, you know the company, Nokia, that sells Nokia electronics or Nokia phones or Nokia whatever. Oh you didn't hear? The show was at the Nokia theater.
Did anyone catch Luke Perry in the audience? Yup, fresh from the Peach Pit.
What's wrong with this picture: Ryan commented that the title of American Idol is only reserved for superstar status while the screen flashed pictures of Kelly Clarkson (winner), Carrie Underwood (winner), AND Chris Daughtry (tisk tisk. He never held the title of American Idol but is a certifiable superstar). Oh I smell controversy. (In my best sing song voice: Idol dissed the other winners, nanny nanny boo boo.)
(From here on out, David Archuletta is "Little David" and David Cook is "Big David."
Do you think Andrew Lloyd Webber has a crush on Little David?
Big David as gone from gooberish to rock star before our very eyes.
Does Little David really only weigh 100 lbs?
Does Little David's Dad give anyone else the creeps?
The second song Big David sang (fan written contest song) sounded like it was about to break into the melody from "Jessie's Girl."
Those fan written songs they had to sing were awful...just awful...think bubble gum and cheap perfume.
Little David was phenomenal tonight. His version of "Imagine" is better than John Lennon's. Oh geez, was that heretical to say? Because aren't the Beatles kind of like Bruce Springsteen. Ya gotta just nod your head and pretend you like them...or else.
Big David's last song was amazing. Gave me the goosebumps.
I thought both David's were going to start crying. Oh wait, they did.
And finally, here is my prediction:
Little David wins.
BUT, Big David really wins.
So now, I bid you adieu, au revoir, good night.