Last Wednesday night, my daughter had her second grade music program at school. So instead of stressing about preparing and cleaning up dinner, I said the five magic words every kid loves to hear: "Let's go get Happy Meals." "Yay! Yahoo! Mom, you're the best." Doesn't take much does it. So we load up into the car. (Does a Tahoe count as a car? I don't really like calling it a truck. That sounds, so...so...so not me...Besides, we call her "Tasha"...that's not very "truckley") Everybody buckled? Yup. Ok, let's go. We arrive at McDonald's and pull up to the window of the drive-thru. I order two Happy Meals and the worst crispy chicken salad ever made, complete with limp lettuce and sparse veggies. (Blech. Chick-fil-a is the gold standard for fast food salads. The rest are imposters. Alas, I digress. ) Meanwhile, the kids are in the car chatting and the twenty-something male cashier hears them. He then looks in and says "Oh you have two bebes with you." I'm thinkin', well one is almost 8 and the other is 5, and they don't have pacifiers in their mouths so I'm not sure they count as "bebes" but decided it wasn't worth mentioning so I said, "Sure do."
And then it happened. The comment I thought I wouldn't hear for another 20 years:
He. did. not. just. call. me. what. I. think. he. did? Or did he? At that point all I could hear was the echo "Grandma. Grandma. Grandma. Grandma." I looked at him slack-jawed and speechless and thinking that there is no way he can possibly think that I am their grandmother.
And then I started laughing uncontrollably. Laughing so hard that I don't even remember paying the guy who, at this point, had no idea what was so funny. Then The Princess yells from the back of the car, "Mom did he just call you our Grandma?" Amidst my tears of laughter and fits of giggles, I eeked out "Yes he did sweetie...bahahahahaha." Then she says, "Mom, there is no way you look like a Grandma. You don't have wrinkles and white hair." Oh, I love that child. Her birthday is this week. She can have whatever she wants.
After I grabbed the food and drove off, I realized that, yes, there are people my age that are grandparents. Albeit YOUNG grandparents. I also realize that there are cultures of which he is part of that typically marry (or not) and have children much earlier than me and the majority of my closest friends who all got married and had kids later in life. So yes, to this guy, someone my age probably is the grandmother. But come on, I don't look THAT old to garner a grandma comment. With a little bit of help from TimeWise by MaryKay and being blessed with my Italian grandmother's skin, I don't have alot of wrinkles other than some laugh lines around the eyes WHEN I laugh. Oh, and and I pay big bucks to get my hair restored to it's natural color every 6 or 7 weeks, so you gotta look hard for that gray. Right now, anyway ;)!
I am so glad it made me laugh, and that I am secure about who I am at 44. Because that really could have been a "drive-thru blow to my ego" if I had let it. Some people are weird about age. I, however, don't care, don't hide it, don't have a problem telling people when asked, and don't understand what the big deal is. So yes, I just thought it was really, really, funny. The whole exchange crumbled my bloggers block giving me a quintessential blogworthy moment and one of the hardiest laughs I have had in a long time. And I'm still giggling out loud as I type this several days later. I hope you have enjoyed a laugh at my expense...you should. It was really, really funny.
Oh, and as an aside, when I was searching for Granny Clampett's picture, I learned that she and I share the same birthday. (61 years apart, that is) Well, we did, as she is no longer with us. But the irony of it wasn't lost on me...no sirree.
22 Comments:
HILARIOUS!!!! And for the record, from your pictures, you certainly DON'T look like a granny! (I'm still sitting here laughing.) That was too good! I remember the first time I was called "Ma'am", that was when I knew I was no longer a hot little teenage thing. :)
So funny! I think I was just about to type everything Elena just did---getting called "ma'am" scarred me good for a few years :)! I've never been called a grandma, but I have had children point out the fact that I had gray hair around my temples. I'm not even 33 but I have to go have my "natural color restored" every 4 weeks---it's that bad!
What does kid working at McDonalds know anyway :)?! You are a youthful, beautiful mother!!!
Oh, man. That guy needs to learn some cardinal rules. Never ever assume age...and never ever ask a woman if she's pregnant...even if she looks 9 months along. Just don't go there. Ever :-)
I'm so glad you found a solution to your block.
How are you all doing after your weekend? Have you taken Kyle into the pediatrician yet?
Oh, no he didn't!! That's why he's working at McDonald's. I mean, seriously, you SO DO NOT look like a grandma.
When I wear a baseball cap with my short hair and go somewhere, people always call me "sir".
You know, grannies are typically associated with goodness, wisdom, great storytelling, boundless love, laughter, kindness...pretty much adjectives that describe YOU. The fact that Mr. McD's ascertained this through a mere window truly impresses me.
So rock on with your young granny self. That's what I say.
p.s. 44 is the new 33, remember? And I'm sure I'd win the wrinkle count award, too. Just sayin'.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... what? People are idiots. ;)
This is why I tend to shy away from the general public on most occasions. I've had way too many joe-schmoes give weird comments. My favorite:
"Oh wow, your arms-- they are so hairy, like a gorilla."
I think I would have rather had the grandma comment!
The guy needs an education which he certainly is not getting at McD's. Now, I am a real grandma, white haired, 69 and wrinkled and if he said that to me it would be true but to my daughter, he must need glasses.
The whole scenario is funny and I'm glad you saw the humor in it all.
Love Mom, Grandma Kay
Elena and Jennifer, that whole "maam" thing is the day you realize that you have now indeed crossed to the "other side" and have become your mother. Which in most cases, is not a a bad thing!
Kat, just got back from the doc. Yup. It's strep. Ugh.
Heather, all I can say is NO WAY can they think you are a man!!
Leigh Anne, I knew we were BFF's for a reason.
Emily, I have to say you made me laugh out loud. I highly doubt you have hairy arms! The next time I visit my sister in Dallas, I must meet you in person. I'll be the grandma with two kids looking for the woman with gorilla arms. ;)
And really, aren't Mom's the best. They always stick up for their babies...even their middle aged ones!
I actually mourn for those burried days when I bought a bottle of wine- and got carded every time. But I am finally beginning to look over 21- if not quite my age- and the 5 bebes trailing behind me are a dead giveaway! Besides we live in a small town where I am on a first name basis with many of the cashiers, and we chat about our kids at school and how thier new baby/grandbaby is doing. When I really need a lift I go to thew liquer store. Not for the booze, so much, as for the fact that my kids can't come with me and I look REALLY young to all those anchient clerks who all card me- every time.
WHAT?!?! That boy needs to get his eyes checked! HAHA! :D
It's interesting that Kat made a comment about not assuming that someone is pregnant because I thought I looked obviously pregnant when I was, so when people said that they couldn't tell, my first reaction was do you think I'm normally this big, but then I thought it'd probably be worse if I weren't really pregnant and someone thought I was. :D
Piggy--see...wouldn't that be awful to ask how far along...and then they aren't even pregnant. Just better to wait to be told the happy news. And along those same lines, when I was as big as a house with mine...I just *loved* hearing how I must be pregnant with twins. Or triplets. Because I was so big. Ahhh...good times.
(PS...Debbie, sorry that I hijacked your comment section!)
What kinda grandma drives a Tahoe anyway? I thought they all drove Camry's!
OMG, too funny! Yes, I guess it could be possible to be a grandma at 44, but in a world of career women and late-life marriages, how presumptuous of that kid for assuming you were their grandma? You look so young!
I'm 44 with 23,22,21,17, and 15 yr. olds and every one of them could have made me a grandmother by now...(thank goodness they haven't...)Usually I hear, "you look too young to have kids that old!" It's funny to watch the math bubble go off above their heads. (I was 21 and a half when I had my first kid!) I know more people my age with younger kids anyways...so don't feel bad about his ignorant comment. Like someone said, "44 is the new 33!"
C'mon for what it's worth the guy was working at Mc D's.........
my husband is 44.......he keeps in contact with quite a few of his high school friends and none of them are grandparents.
however, I just did the math and my mom was 44 when her first grandchild was born......
and quite honestly, in all reality I COULD be a grandma by the time I am 44, but I will kill my then 17 year old son if that happens.
However, the point here is that there is no way in the whole universe that you look 44 much less "grandmotherly".
Some people just need a lip-zipper!!
glad you were able to laugh about it though!
Ha! Well, in his defense when I ws 17-20 I thought anyone over say... 27, was a senior citizen. Funny now that I'm a" senior citizen" I think old starts around 80. ;)
That'll be a story you can tell you own grandkids - but not for another 20 years!
I've been there as a 45 year old with an 8 year old daughter I was once called her G-Mom by a sales clerk at Macy's. I admit I didn't look my best that day but geesh!
you have great self esteem and rightfully so! you are beautiful and young -- not that there is anything wrong with old!
love that you call your "car" Tasha.
mine is simply the mommymobile.
Oh my oh oh my oh my oh my! I have to first pick my jaw up from the ground~
But are you KIDDING ME!!!!!! I cannot even imagine. First of all he must have been sniiffin too much grease from the fry bin, cause you do not look like any Grandma I know.
LOL and I think we need to pray he does not say that to someone who is not as kind as you!
You look great ...you are beautiful and classy.....
Love ya and Missed ya!!!
Kelly
Crazy...crazy boy!
To be truthful though I would rather be mistaken for my son's grandma than his girlfriend!
Hilarious.
I love happy meals. I love fast food. My hips do not.
You so don't look like anyone's grandma. At all. Seriously. Get a Diet Coke and settle down for American Idol and forget what drive thru boy said.
I always have to make sure that I don't have anything in my mouth when I come to visit you, or it'll end up spit out on the screen due to fits of laughter.
You my dear are gorgeous and like everyone else has pointed out, there is probably a good reason this punk is working at McDonalds...
Oh pa-leze! Whatever!
And....my husband and my brother are both 37. My husband has a one year old and my brother is a grandpa!
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