If you can't laugh at yourself....

It's official. I think my Diet Coke addiction is now affecting my brain cells. Seriously affecting my brain cells. Shrinking them. Not killing them. Just shrinking them. I have had some major-head-shaking (translation: ditzy) moments in the last week. Now mind you, I jotted this idea down a week ago when I had only three ditzy moments. I am sad to say that it has now grown to five. Perhaps I should have stopped at three lest you not think I was a tad challenged. I was, after all, in the 8th grade county spelling bee.

So, let's take a walk through my week from ditzy, ditzier, ditziest to showstopper.

Every Monday, I change and wash the sheets on our beds. Simple task, I know. Can't really mess that up. Unless you put the dirty sheets back on the bed. But, pish, who does that? So last Monday I changed Lindsey's sheets, our sheets, and Kyle's sheets. I left Kyle's in a basket on the upstairs landing. Everything else was in the washing machine. Then I left the house for the afternoon. Came back and saw Kyle's sheets in the basket looking all fluffy and nice. I certainly had to have washed them so I proceeded to put them on his bed. I then left the room to go find the "dirty sheets" only to realize they were now, yes, back on his bed. Don't ask me if I changed them again. Come on, it wasn't that big a deal...my kids go to bed bathed every single night. (Gotta get those school germies off...blech.)

Next up. We have a two car garage with two doors. Versus a two car garage with one nice big door that cars/SUV's can easily fit through without breaking off parts not meant to fall off. Not familiar with this problem, eh? Let me tell you about it because I'm rather experienced with it. Sometimes pulling my SUV in and out of the garage is like Santa trying to go down the chimney. There is lots of sucking in. In this case, I have to pull in the rear view mirror on the driver side and pray that I have enough room on the other side. For 5 years it has worked fine...well there might have been a failure once or twice or three times that cost alot of money to fix the same stinkin mirror on the passenger side, but who's counting. Last week I darn near added to that total when for some reason I got into the car, pulled out the driver's side mirror while in the garage, proceeded to back out and heard a cracking noise. I gasped. Well there goes another $250 bucks. Wait! Whew, it wasn't broken after all! I'll never do that again. FAMOUS. LAST. WORDS. I did it AGAIN today. Yes today when my list was only at FOUR ditzy things. Why couldn't I have done this post yesterday! Fortunately, the mirror is fine, but my nine lives on that thing are certainly about to expire.

This next one needs no introduction. Ever had a cold cheezit? Come to my house, and I'll serve you one. I really have a problem putting things in the fridge that don't belong there. I don't even know when I did this or how long the bowl was in there....probably all day because my husband said he noticed it when he got home from work that evening. I know what you're thinkin' because I'm thinking it, too. Why didn't HE take it out when he saw it in there? Honey??



Oh it gets better. If you ask me what my favorite meal is, I will always tell you that it's leftovers. No thought. No prep. No complaints. So last Thursday, I whipped up a batch of sloppy joe bake that is a fav in our house (my friend Courtney's recipe, and if you want it let me know). It is always good for lots and lots of leftovers. So. That night we eat dinner. I clean the kitchen. Bob bathes the kids. We go do whatever. We go to bed. I wake up the next morning and find this. On the stove. Left out all night. Leftovers wasted. Gold in the trash. Gone. Buh bye. Boo hoo. Why oh why did I put the cheezits in the fridge and not this? I wanted to cry. So we ate cereal for dinner that night.



Well, here it is gang. The showstopper. Are you ready for this one? I accidentally stopped our neighbor's mail. Oh yes I did. Before we left for vacation, I went online to put a hold on our mail and accidentally typed in the wrong address. I printed out the receipt, looked at it, nodded yup, everything looks good. Got home from vacation. Mail was delivered to us. And then mailman showed me what I did. And then I got an email from my neighbor telling me what I did. And then I was mortified about what I did. Fortunately, thankfully, I knew her, and she was understanding and laughing about it. But, boy were she and her husband in for a surprise when they realized that by Tuesday they hadn't had one piece of junk mail delivered and called the post office to find out why.

Here's how it went..or something like it:

"Uh, sir, we haven't received mail for a couple of days."
"Well maam we have notification that you wanted your mail stopped."
"Wha? Huh? No we didn't."
"Right here it says Debbie so-and-so stopped your mail."
"No that would be my neighbor who is out of town."
"Oh ok...10-4...we'll deliver your mail ASAP."

(Does anyone else besides me find it disturbing that the post office was quick to stop a resident's mail upon authorization of someone other than the residents?)

Anyways, we laughed. Well she did. I cringed. We're still friends.

So now, what do I have to say for myself after all this? "Whew, I need a Diet Coke."