Wednesday, April 2, 2008

If you can't laugh at yourself....

It's official. I think my Diet Coke addiction is now affecting my brain cells. Seriously affecting my brain cells. Shrinking them. Not killing them. Just shrinking them. I have had some major-head-shaking (translation: ditzy) moments in the last week. Now mind you, I jotted this idea down a week ago when I had only three ditzy moments. I am sad to say that it has now grown to five. Perhaps I should have stopped at three lest you not think I was a tad challenged. I was, after all, in the 8th grade county spelling bee.

So, let's take a walk through my week from ditzy, ditzier, ditziest to showstopper.

Every Monday, I change and wash the sheets on our beds. Simple task, I know. Can't really mess that up. Unless you put the dirty sheets back on the bed. But, pish, who does that? So last Monday I changed Lindsey's sheets, our sheets, and Kyle's sheets. I left Kyle's in a basket on the upstairs landing. Everything else was in the washing machine. Then I left the house for the afternoon. Came back and saw Kyle's sheets in the basket looking all fluffy and nice. I certainly had to have washed them so I proceeded to put them on his bed. I then left the room to go find the "dirty sheets" only to realize they were now, yes, back on his bed. Don't ask me if I changed them again. Come on, it wasn't that big a deal...my kids go to bed bathed every single night. (Gotta get those school germies off...blech.)

Next up. We have a two car garage with two doors. Versus a two car garage with one nice big door that cars/SUV's can easily fit through without breaking off parts not meant to fall off. Not familiar with this problem, eh? Let me tell you about it because I'm rather experienced with it. Sometimes pulling my SUV in and out of the garage is like Santa trying to go down the chimney. There is lots of sucking in. In this case, I have to pull in the rear view mirror on the driver side and pray that I have enough room on the other side. For 5 years it has worked fine...well there might have been a failure once or twice or three times that cost alot of money to fix the same stinkin mirror on the passenger side, but who's counting. Last week I darn near added to that total when for some reason I got into the car, pulled out the driver's side mirror while in the garage, proceeded to back out and heard a cracking noise. I gasped. Well there goes another $250 bucks. Wait! Whew, it wasn't broken after all! I'll never do that again. FAMOUS. LAST. WORDS. I did it AGAIN today. Yes today when my list was only at FOUR ditzy things. Why couldn't I have done this post yesterday! Fortunately, the mirror is fine, but my nine lives on that thing are certainly about to expire.

This next one needs no introduction. Ever had a cold cheezit? Come to my house, and I'll serve you one. I really have a problem putting things in the fridge that don't belong there. I don't even know when I did this or how long the bowl was in there....probably all day because my husband said he noticed it when he got home from work that evening. I know what you're thinkin' because I'm thinking it, too. Why didn't HE take it out when he saw it in there? Honey??



Oh it gets better. If you ask me what my favorite meal is, I will always tell you that it's leftovers. No thought. No prep. No complaints. So last Thursday, I whipped up a batch of sloppy joe bake that is a fav in our house (my friend Courtney's recipe, and if you want it let me know). It is always good for lots and lots of leftovers. So. That night we eat dinner. I clean the kitchen. Bob bathes the kids. We go do whatever. We go to bed. I wake up the next morning and find this. On the stove. Left out all night. Leftovers wasted. Gold in the trash. Gone. Buh bye. Boo hoo. Why oh why did I put the cheezits in the fridge and not this? I wanted to cry. So we ate cereal for dinner that night.



Well, here it is gang. The showstopper. Are you ready for this one? I accidentally stopped our neighbor's mail. Oh yes I did. Before we left for vacation, I went online to put a hold on our mail and accidentally typed in the wrong address. I printed out the receipt, looked at it, nodded yup, everything looks good. Got home from vacation. Mail was delivered to us. And then mailman showed me what I did. And then I got an email from my neighbor telling me what I did. And then I was mortified about what I did. Fortunately, thankfully, I knew her, and she was understanding and laughing about it. But, boy were she and her husband in for a surprise when they realized that by Tuesday they hadn't had one piece of junk mail delivered and called the post office to find out why.

Here's how it went..or something like it:

"Uh, sir, we haven't received mail for a couple of days."
"Well maam we have notification that you wanted your mail stopped."
"Wha? Huh? No we didn't."
"Right here it says Debbie so-and-so stopped your mail."
"No that would be my neighbor who is out of town."

"Oh ok...10-4...we'll deliver your mail ASAP."

(Does anyone else besides me find it disturbing that the post office was quick to stop a resident's mail upon authorization of someone other than the residents?)

Anyways, we laughed. Well she did. I cringed. We're still friends.

So now, what do I have to say for myself after all this? "Whew, I need a Diet Coke."


post signature

79 Comments:

Evi said...

Sounds like maybe you need to add a little rye to that Diet Coke...what a week! I Love to hear I'm not the only one who does stuff like that.

Life With My 3 Boybarians said...

Too too funny! :)

I'll have a Diet Coke with ya'!

Zach and Julie Anderson said...

so funny! I would like that sloppy joe recipe please... thanks!!

T-Luh said...

Okay, I am literally laughing out loud all over again! You're awesome Debbie...and again no worries about the mail...it's given Brett a terrific idea for Chickazey fun. :p

I've experienced many of these "mommy moments" (note: not senior moments) myself lately and one of my girlfriends offered the explanation that when you give birth, you give brain cells to your children. See? You're an awesome mom- that's why Lindsey and Kyle are so smart! Way to go Mom! :p

Sniz said...

Oh my goodness! This is soooo funny, Debbie! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who does stuff like this. I just want Calgon to take me away!!!

You know what my dream is? It is to win a vacation. Seriously. I can never enjoy a vacation 100% because a tiny part of me worries about the money it cost and that the vacation will be over and what will have to show for it? If I won one, I would enjoy it SO MUCH MORE! So what does this have to do with your post and my comment? Thinking about stuff like what you wrote and what my life is like, we need a REAL vacation, babe. A break from car doors and laundry and the everyday grind. Don't you wish you could win a vacation?

RJN said...

I thought there might be some logical reason why the Cheezits were in the frig :-) For example, if I have Reeses peanut butter cups, I love to have them in the frig. Debbie and Lindsey think I've lost my mind. So I thought, just maybe, someone really wanted them in there. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it ;-)

Debbie said...

I am so laughing out loud at all these comments...And Tiffany, I am so much older than you that my absent mindedness is not only "mommy moments" but "premature senior moments." But thanks for overlooking that!

ohhollyf said...

this song is a fav. now i'll never heard it without being reminded of this hilarious post

Kelly said...

Oh my goodness the last one is just a killer! Just last week I left out Salmon to thaw along with a package of chicken breasts, I thought I would die when I awoke in the morning and saw they were still right on the stove, isn't that a horrible feeling, like ya wanna kick yourself!! haha! This was a great post!

Kelly

PS thank you for your sweet comments, I hope everyone that reads our posts puts that button on their own blog.....I will conitnue to keep her in my prayers.

Tracey said...

Just last month I backed out of the garage and heard a huge crack and a BANG. I actually thought someone got shot until I looked at my passenger side mirror to see it wasn't broken off, but the mirror was completely cracked top to bottom. Only $89 to fix, what a bargain.

I almost cried once when I left a favorite meal out to cool before putting it in the fridge and woke up in the morning to find it still on the counter. And then I tried to get mad at my husband for not putting it away for me. Thankfully, he was at work and never knew I tried to blame it on him. ;-)

Please send me the S.J. recipe.

Courtney said...

LOVED this post! mostly because i can relate to ALL of it! :-)

Kat said...

Oh...I can so relate to all these mommy moments. I'll gladly pony up to the table with you and have a Coke Zero. If only I could remember where I left the can...

Jennifer P. said...

I have no caffeine in my system whatsoever, and yet I can relate to all of these things! What's my excuse? We have had many a box of cold breakfast cereal when we discovered it in the fridge and the milk in the pantry. I've never stopped anyone else's mail though--but I might try just to mess with 'em ;)!.

THanks for giving me a good belly laugh!

EEEEMommy said...

Poor you! But thanks for the laugh! ;) I'm just impressed that you wash the sheets with such regularity and aren't scrambling to get them on the beds right at bedtime, oh and that your kids take baths every night, oh and I wouldn't have trashed the sloppy joes, the oven would kill the worst germs and we keep our house pretty cold at night. Oh and one more thing, Diet Coke is gross! Bleh! :)
It's past my bedtime, I'm a good candidate for putting Cheez-its in the fridge tomorrow myself, except we don't have any because they're gross too. :P (giggle)
(I'd better be careful, you might track down my address and put my mail on hold if I don't stop commenting....I crack myself up!)

Mrs. Jones said...

I have done most of these things, except stopping my neighbor's mail. That one made me laugh out loud, girl. Seriously, when I leave out an entire casserole dish full of dinner (have done this many times), and I walk into the kitchen in the morning and see it, I just want to cry and cry.

And why haven't our home builders figured out that we all drive suv's and we need to actually get our cars INTO our garages?!!

Trish said...

I do not understand what your problem is. I NEVER do things like that. I have NEVER (except twice) ripped the mirror off my car backing out of the garage. I have NEVER (except two night ago) taken the bag chicken breast out of the freezer and left it sitting on the counter all night long. I have NEVER (except last week and once when he was in preschool) forgotten to pick my son up from school. And I have NEVER (honestly) stopped the neighbors mail!
Crazy lady........you make me laugh!

Heather said...

Oh, sweet Debbie...I'm not laughing AT you, but I AM laughing. Really hard. Are you sure you're not pregnant?? Is there a full moon? The Cheez-It's in the fridge were hilarious! I really shouldn't laugh at that one because when we lose our remote, the first place we look is the fridge.

Toni said...

ROFLOL! Um, who do you think you are. ME??? I do this stuff ALL. THE. TIME. And for the record, I'd take a Cheeze-It if you ran it over with your van tire on a rainy day. LOVE those things.

Debbie, I was soooo laughing at stopping your neighbor's mail. That is hilarious!
Blessings,
~Toni~

Treasured Anew said...

That is a riot Debbie! I am laughing so hard because just a few days ago while at Publix I purchased on a whim (a desire? a want? for fun? I dunno!)some 1/2 price frozen pretzels, you know the big buy me at the mall kind. I came home in a hurry, went through the bags and put away all the refrigerated stuff, and left the rest for later. When I came back, right, there was that box of pretzels, nice and warm - edible? Who knows. Lesson learned, don't buy those 1/2 price deals - they get ya every time!!!

Cecily R said...

That showstopper is FANTASTIC. Its possible that you and I are kindred spirits and we don't even know each other...so much of this post is so oddly familiar...

Parker said...

Diet Cokes make everything better. EVERYTHING.
HUGS,
Kat

Jennifer P. said...

I thought this was the only one I hadn't left a comment on--though I remember reading it. But, nope, I just can't keep my big, fat blogging fingers quiet--looks like I already spoke up ;)!

But, I'm thrilled to be among the first to wish you an amazing day full of all kinds of comment lovin'!!!

BEST TO YOU!!!

Kristy said...
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Kristy said...
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Kristy said...

oh gosh lol the cold cheese its is funny, my 6 year old will put an empty cup in the fridge lol

trashalou said...

I have known my mother look for the electrickettle to boil for a cup of tea only to eventually track it down in the oven!!!!

Givinya De Elba said...

Ah yes. You and Me. Separated at birth.

GdeE

Lane Boyz Mom said...

WOW...I do uh, ditzy things like that almost hourly,well, I've never stopped the neigbhors mail, but hey....what a great prank, I'll keep that in mind;) LOL

But seriously, even if I DID find out it was my addiction to Diet Coke....I'd learn to live with it, you know like people learn to live with hearing aids, glasses, and dentures? LOL I WILL NOT GIVE UP THE DIET COKE!

Nan said...

I'm having to pick up my neigherbor's mail because she doesn't realize that she can have it all delivered on Saturday when she returns!!!

Shelley said...

Um...your kids get a bath every night??? Man!!! I'm impressed!!!
Um...both of my Asian beauties have very sensitive skin and it is not good to bathe them every single day (Boy...how I love that excuse even though it is true) secondly...it is summer...doesn't going swimming in a chlorinated pool count for something?? Of course that kind of nips the sensitive skin bath every day excuse...oh well!
I don't drink diet coke...but it is sounding better and better!! :-)
Blessings
Shelley

Toni said...

Oh my gosh! I laughed so hard I was crying, the last thing took the cake! Yeah my neighbors would not be so understanding so I must remember to look at the numbers carefully LOL

Deanna said...

Here from SITS! Great Blog! Leftovers have found their way to the trash in our house, too, after SOMEBODY (eyeing my Hubby) forgot to put them in the fridge. I mean, hey, I covered them...I did my part, right? :) Have a great day!!

Simply Stork said...

funny...I don't think it's the diet coke...I think it's those darn soliciters distracting you at every turn (lol)

***note to self...I have the power to stop my neighbors mail....heeee*** all I need to do is say I'm debbie so and so... (lol)

~simply~

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

We are related...I know it...I backed out SUV out of the garage one day, and instead of grabbing my sun glasses off the clip, I hit the door opening...which started bringing down the door...I panicked hit the button again, and again and again...then pulled back into the garage...I am NOT good in stressful situations...the only real damage was that I ripped the washer fluid nozzle off the back window...I still feel like I dork every time I think about it...

Perksofbeingme said...

I'm here through SITS and this post was great. I actually laughed out loud. But don't feel bad about the Cheezits in the fridge. I couldn't find my car keys and wallet one day, and I was running late until I noticed the container of sour cream sitting on my dresser. Talk about confused, I couldn't figure out if I just wanted a snack and thought Sour Cream was the answer, or if I was losing my mind. So I looked in the fridge, and sure enough- my keys and wallet were right there.

Rhea said...

Oh, wow, this was funny...I'm still laughing. We've all had moments like this...although not so many together....you have cracked me up today. Thank you!!

Jennifer said...

You adding some rum to that diet coke??

You poor thing! I have times like this too, only I blame it on my kids sucking the very life out of me!

Neurotically Yours: said...

Don't we all have days like that??
And thanks for reminding me to stop my mail - we leave on Saturday.

Melanie said...

Wow I'm not the only one, I'm so excited. Many weird things end up in the fridge here. And the mail thing disturbs me more than a little, oh what power we have over each other.

Linds8 said...

I hate when I leave food out overnight! Its good to know I am not the only one! I love that your cheez-its made it into the fridge! :)

http://thelifeoflindseyd.blogspot.com/

Kat said...

I was wondering how long I had been reading you...and I think that this is one of the first posts I made over here. Maybe. All the way back to April...so many moons ago! Congrats on being the feature of the day!

Mamasphere said...

My husband is awesome- he does a kitchen check every night before heading to bed (he stays up later than me). Which is good, because about once a week I forget to put the leftovers in the fridge. The only thing is that he just throws the sauce pan in there, without a lid, so more often than not it's not edible the next day anyway.

I would pay mightily for someone to plump up my brain cells.

Swirl Girl said...

You're too young for a day of senior moments like thst one!

You need a little more O.C.D. in your life...

www.swirlgirspearls.blogspot.com

Swirl Girl said...

You're too young for a day of senior moments like thst one!

You need a little more O.C.D. in your life...

www.swirlgirspearls.blogspot.com

Tracy P. said...

Boy am I glad I'm not the only one!! And is that your husband actually commenting on your blog??! Wow! Yay for him!

Karen said...

Toooo funny :-)

A number of years ago, I was running around like a chook with it's head cut off, looking for my glasses. The kids were being really unhelpful. Every time I asked them if they'd seen my glasses, they'd look at me, then roll around on the floor, laughing like a pack of hyenas. Finally, one of them recovered long enough to say 'Mum, they're on the end of your nose'. Yup, I was wearing them...

Dot said...

I'm drinking a Diet Coke right now!

Mama Dawg said...

Oh, man...I can't stop laughing.

Cray and Bickford Family said...

So, my OBGYN told me it was called "placenta drain" and that I lost my mind during my pregnancy because the baby required so much nutrition. She neglected to tell me that it never came back.

lfamily5 said...

No, No, No, don't blame it on the Diet Coke. I believe you gave birth to your brain when your children arrived. Please don't blame it on the DC! Visiting via SITS - been there done most of that...

Jenni said...

I too am an admitted coke addict--I tried to stop once and substituted Diet Dew. . .Now I am addicted to BOTH!

I once left magic shell (For icecream) in the fridge and my husband won't let me live it down. It was solid as a rock!

I have had three car "accidents" -all backing.

And for a while shortly after getting married I kept unlocking the front door and leaving the keys IN THE LOCK after going insided (I still can't explain that one). I love reading your posts, you are hilarious.

Amy said...

That is too funny! Im glad she was laughing about it..and the food in the fridge...well. nevermind. Ill save it!

-Bridget said...

This one hit pretty close to home. I've been guilty of one and two. Never stopped my neighbor's mail though. I'm not sure they would be as nice about it as your neighbor was. It write more about it, but I need to go get a Diet Coke.

deconstructing jen said...

Oh my. The mail thing would have left me mortified and with a husband who would never let me live it down.

scargosun said...

That is too flippin funny. When you add all those moments up you might be right about the brain cells BUT I still like you the way you are. :)

Mommy Meryl said...

Wow - I thought I was just getting old and forgetful! Now I know I can blame it on Diet Coke!! :-) I feel better now!

Jen said...

Love it. I was laughing. I am so with you. I don't think that its diet coke that is killing me brain cells, I think that it is my children.

Jen said...

Love it. I was laughing. I am so with you. I don't think that its diet coke that is killing me brain cells, I think that it is my children.

Bradford Bunch said...

Oh the days of diet coke and lemon, I think I have been sober for two years now, I am jealous. I would love the sloppy joe recipe, leftovers is the name of the game around here lately.

Kristinia - Loving Heart Mommy said...

Girl, don't feel bad I believe we all have those days.. to where we are like what the heck?.. was this all the drinking back when I turned 21 (no offense if you do or don't drink) or am I just getting old and slowly getting a case of alzheimer's?

I'm preggo and very absent minded lately.. I've tried to put a jug of milk in the cupboard and a box of cereal in the fridge!

I don't drink Diet but I do drink Coca Cola. I give you props for driving a SUV, I'd flip one.. LOL so we stick to my compact 4 door Honda Civic and I can luckily park it just fine, if it was any bigger I'd freak (I hate parking anyhow).

About the leftovers, I haven't done that but my hubby has.. He'd cook something in the crock pot, I'd end up thinking he'd put it away.. and find it in the morning with a whole ton of leftovers gone to waste! Men, they don't think sometimes but we love them!

Again found your from SITS! I had fun reading your 3 fave posts!

MomMega said...

I was giggling all the way through this, but I really lost it at the mail part. That is classic!

Vicki said...

I'm right there with you on the leftovers. It's so maddening.

Stopping your neighbors mail...I'll have to try it. It sounds like a great practical joke! Until their bills are late and end up having to pay them...better not do it, I guess.

christie said...

Seriously. Funny. Stuff.

Sunshine said...

We could so be friends. :)

HeathahLee said...

We have an inside joke at our house whenever we can't find something where it's supposed to be..."Is the cheese in the drawer?" One night for some still unexplained reason I put the shredded cheddar in the silverware drawer instead of back in the fridge. My husband found it and wondered why in the world I had done that. I probably had drunk too many Diet Cokes. That should make me want to quit. Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

Jessica said...

ooo sloppy joe bake, sounds delish. recipe please. thanks.

Deb said...

Yeah that's what you need - another Diet Coke.

Sherri said...

Wow --- just reading that makes me want another Diet Coke!!! I am an addict too!!

Heidi Rogers said...

I as well love Diet Coke.. I am sure it is the KIDS that do this to us. Love you blog super cute.

Gina said...

I am SO GLAD this is not just me.
Oh, so glad.
So very, very, VERY glad.
whew.

Michelle said...

Dag nabit! You're too funny. Now I have to add you to the blogs I read.

If it makes you feel any better, when we were looking at houses I actually ruled out any house with a one car door even with 2 or 3 garage spots. I refused to have to deal with that at all!

And I want the sloppy joe bake recipe, please! I love to cook, and I don't do sloppy joes nearly often enough.

Congrats on being featured!

Tausha said...

It is so not the Diet Coke!
It is proven that women lose brain cells when they are pregnant. True-the chick that wrote "What to expect when you are expecting." She was on some local talk show here and she said that really. Less brain cells. I love my kids, I really do-but why did they have to make me lose brain cells? I put stuff in the fridge that doesn't go there, and I always always walk into a room and try to remeber why I went in there! All the time!!! The worst is when I track my butt up the stairs and can't remember why I went there! Come on-really-are you serious!?! us moms go through enough-this is not fair to add to the mix. (sorry for the really long comments, I just felt a little wordy tonight!-HOpe that you were bored and in the mood to read cause I sure gave you the opportunity!!

Angela said...

We all have days like that! Nothing makes me more mad than to leave something out of the fridge overnight--it's been done in our casa. But cereal for dinner is not a bad thing! Yum!

Judy Haley said...

I'm always finding strange things in my fridge - including my keys

Nichole Jolene said...

wandered in from SITS~oh sweet addictions**mine would be THE DEW!

Angie said...

I thought I was the only person who put inappropriate things in the fridge and cabinets?! What a relief! And the whole mail stopping story is priceless! The brain cell loss is something that no one tells you about when you have kids. It's just another one of those joys that you get to discover all by yourself. :-)

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

Oh, you poor thing!! Hope today was better.

WheresMyAngels said...

Ahh sounds like you need the ADHD meds like me! Gotta get into my doctor!

TMI said...

I'm a Diet Dr Pepper gal myself, but I understand the need for relief, especially when you have a day like that!