Why is it, that no matter how big or small the bag/pocketbook/handbag/or whatever the trendy way to call a purse is these days, I always end up with this:
In this pile you can find half eaten cheezits, half pieces of unchewed gum, full pieces of already chewed gum, broken crayons with grease stains from "you name it family restaurant", unused Gap and Target gift cards for the kids (well,um, maybe they might have been used by me..shhh, don't tell), pens without caps, pens without ink, pencils with no lead, an unused pack of kleenex, and more than likely some used kleenex, a package of antibacterial wipes, an empty tube of carmex, a tin of altoids, scrunched up receipts and undone "to do" lists (note I said "lists", note I said "undone"), a cell phone that I never seem to have turned on except when I want to hear the theme song to "The Office" which is my ringtone, as if I haven't told you that a million times, a wallet with no cash and too much change bulging from the side, some keys with a yellow coiled bracelet that I use to (a) help me locate my keys in my purse when I haven't misplaced them someplace else and (b) wear on my wrist so that I don't lose them walking from wherever to the car when I get distracted by the kids. And, really, what is a woman without a pair of Cookie Monster undies that have been in her purse for two months that by way don't even fit. My son, not me.
Out with it. What's in your purse? You don't have to mention the unmentionable products we need monthly. It will gross out my three man readers.