Me: Whew...it sure is quiet in here...Hmmm...wonder if I can come out now?
Blogger police: Come out with your hands up!
Me: Whoa! Who are you and why are you in my blog?
Blogger Police: The blogger police. We got a missing person report. Where've you been?
Blogger police: Sick with what?
Me: My son's two day virus from three weeks ago.
Blogger police: His virus was only two days and that was three weeks ago. You've been gone for two weeks.
Me: Yeah, well that's how long I've been sick.
Blogger police: Whatcha been taking for it?
Me: Everything... including cough syrup with codeine I scored from my neighbor.
Blogger police: You mean you shared a prescription drug with someone from the 'hood?"
Me: Oh, did I say that. No I meant I got a prescription from the doctor.
Blogger police: You plan on returning anytime soon?
Me: I guess. It's been so long I forgot I had a blog. Who won the election?
Blogger police: Barack Obama.
Me: Oh yeah, that's right. Wow, that cough syrup sure conjured up some crazy dreams.
Blogger police: Like what?
Me: Well, I dreamt Hillary Clinton was named Secretary of State, Britney Spears was skinny again, gas is down to $1.73 a gallon, the auto industry is about to collapse, and that it was just a few weeks before Christmas. None of that is possible.
Blogger police: Not only possible, it's fo realz.
Me: "Fo realz?" "Fo realz????" Who are you?
Blogger police: OJ Simpson.
Me: OJ Simpson? THE OJ Simpson. Now I know it wasn't "fo realz"...I dreamt you were finally going to jail...