Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Little Red Riding Hood

My daughter, if you will recall, does not want to be referred to, mentioned, blogged about, breathed about, dreamt about, written about, you name it, she wants no part of being cast in "This is the Life." Funny thing. She is part of why "This is the Life." HOWEVER, and that is a big HOWEVER, she has informed me that I shall now refer to her as "Little Red Riding Hood" on my blog. I have no idea why. She just wants to be referred to as such. Of course, that is only whenst I am given permission to speak of her. (Don't I sound British?) Yeah. She's 8. Any of you have a a cute little three or four year old princessy daughter out there? Yeah, well, so did I. Good times are awaiting you, my friend. Good times. Someone asked me recently when the girly hormones kick in. My reply: "When they come out of the womb, kicking and screaming." Giggle. Giggle. It's no joke people. Consider yourself warned.

Yet, in spite of all the drama, LRRH is extremely bright and very perceptive. So, to fill in the gap until I finish my next post about a movement I am starting for all mothers, (oh yeah, you'll want to jump on my Norma Rae soapbox atop the bandwagon), I thought I would share some of LRRH's notable quotes of late:


THE ONE ABOUT CHINA

Little Red Riding Hood: Why are all of my American Girl dolls and clothes and stuff made in China?
Me: Ummm, hmmm, it's cheaper to make them there. (Actually, sweetie, they own us.)
LRRH: Mom, this American Flag was made in China!! Isn't is supposed to be made in America?
Me: What? Let me see that. GASP. Oh my Stars, Stripes and Chopsticks!
LRRH: Mom, everything is made in China.
Me: Yeah, well , you weren't.

TV DAD's THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD

LRRH: Mom, you know how Dad's are supposed to be strong and smart?
Me: Yeah.
LRRH: Well, why are the Dad's on TV so silly and goofy? Sometimes they look, you know, kind of dumb. And the kids aren't nice to them.
Me: Wow. That is very true and very perceptive of you, Peanut. What made you wonder about that?
LRRH: Well, you know sometimes on Hannah Montana, her Dad seems goofy.
Me: Yeah well he had a mullet at one point... Okay, no more Hannah Montana for you.
LRRH: Mom, I know Dad isn't that way!
Me: Yeah, well, still.....


THAT STORE IS DIFFERENT

LRRH: Mom that toy store is different than most stores. (It is a fabulous and fabulously overpriced specialty toy store near our home, but I like to support family owned businesses.)
Me: Why do you think it's different?
LRRH: Well, the people in there are different.
Me: What do you mean?
LRRH: Well, you know, they all speak English.

Bada Bing.

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39 Comments:

Sissy said...

Hello! She nailed it on the head! Places where people speak English are my favorite. I have just about stopped going to the Walmart here in town cause no one knows where to find anything and I think I am in a foreign country when I shop. I do love a small store when I can find one.

Sissy said...

Oh and an answer to the previous post: I am currently a librarian, but I have an Art degree and taught Art for six years. And I spent a wonderful year in between working at Michael's craft store where I did their accounting. (I know, Math and Art? Who am I?)

Swirl Girl said...

Kids have such a clear cut version of the world around them.

it's amazing, and we can all learn something from them...

Keys to the Magic Travel said...

You have one smart girl there :-) You need to read the book "A Year without Made in China." When I was reading it...naturally my kiddos wanted all the details. They are now so very interested in discovering where everything is manufactured.

Jacki McHale said...

Ah yes, well I am learning very quickly with an ever so bossy 2 year old little girl, it can only get bossier, sassier, and pricess like... sigh...oh it's going to be a bumpy ride... (excuse me, I have a 2 year old, screaming "tigga pooh agaaaaaaaain")

Unknown said...

Little Red Riding Hood - how cute!

Michelle said...

Wow. I have the 2 year old version of LRRH. Or maybe the 2 year old version of LRRH mated with Beezelbub. I'm not sure yet ;)

Skeller said...

[said in my best wolf-in-grandma's clothing impersonation:] My! What a perceptive LRRH you have there!!

Anonymous said...

That is a very smart little girl! Yes, dads (and husbands) on TV are always stupid. I think it seeps into our heads and makes US think that our husbands are retarded. It does for me anyway.

Nothing is made in America besides beer and crappy cars. :)

Jen said...

I think her and my daughter must be twins seperated at birth. I have an 8 year old daughter that is precocious as well...I seriously don't know if I'll be able to handle it when she actually becomes a teenager! Thanks for sharing!

Emily said...

I love it, Little Red!

My boys are so amazed with the China thing too. Jeff says he saw a family on TV who tried to not buy anything but products that were made in the USA. Not only was it SUPER expensive, but it only lasted a few weeks until they gave in. I hate HATE that!

Kat said...

Clever that Little Red is. Clever.

Lula! said...

I love her. I love you. Y'all need to take this act on the road. And by on the road, I mean head west to my part of Virginia and let's all hang out. No mullets, no China, lots of English peppered with southernisms, and a fridge full of diet Coke and lemons. JUST FOR YOU.

Tiffany said...

Apparently you insight and wit have been passed onto your daughter... yeah! I love reading your blog. You always make me laugh,

Keep these comin', I love the "Pontifications of LRRH"

Unknown said...

As i remember my daughter once decided that a particular toy was VERY SPECIAL because it came ALL THE WAY FROM CHINA!!!!!!!!!!!

Cookie said...

Wow! She doesn't miss a thing!

Gina said...

yes, the minute they enter this world, girls are demanding, and spoiled and precious.

Heathahlee said...

I have been told I am blessed to only have a boy, but I sure would love some girly conversations like that!

Jenni said...

I, too, have a perceptive eight year old daughter. I hate it when they use logic on you and you have to resort to "'Cause I am the mom and I said so!"

Trish said...

She's a smart one just like her momma!! And cute to boot.....i've seen a picture of her before this imposed ban on all things LRRH.

I've got me a boy here for her, and the great thing is that he is headed for the White House or Congress or the Senate or something like that, so she wouldn't even have to move away from home.

Kimba said...

That's a perceptive little girl. She hit on one of my pet peeves...the incompetent, bumbling TV dad. I get so irritated by the way dads are portrayed. I'll leave my soapbox in the closet for now.

Kelly said...

Oh those are good! Out of the mouths of babes! ha I was thinking I wonder if she will *blog* one day and write about things *we* used to do! lol


Love,
Kelly

PS. The last post I missed! I was a manager for a large apartment complex, and my dream was to always be a cop......but I also did work retail, and later in a hospital as a coordinator for the elderly volunteers and a program called *meals on wheels* for the shut ins. I currently have started a program to become a MH ( master herbalist ).

Heather said...

Such a deep thinker, she is. That was a very Yoda-ish sounding sentence.

I know what you mean about girls being hormonal from birth. Man-o-man, do I KNOW.

Lauren W said...

Haha!
That's perfect! What an entertaining age. They feel so wise to the world at that point. I love it :)

Tracy P. said...

No kidding about the girly hormones. My 7 year old had some serious pms going on a few weeks ago. I've heard several people say they come with a cycle, and I could believe it!

Unknown said...

Yeah... FIFTY questions... I'm really not kidding when I say my job is BORING!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

LOL...I have the same 8 year old...and I agree, it does begin at birth. Sometimes we have the most indepth insightful conversations...something I never get with the boy.

Julie said...

that is so funny... how about boys...what are your observations about them... I am curious since mine is 4... wondering what to expect? ha ha

Anonymous said...

Oh well you know, they all speak English!!!!!

That is SOOOO classic!!!

I'm still in awe.

I was shopping at Meijer, our local super store (like a Super Walmart) and was in the shoe department. Mind you, I live in the conservative Midwest and was in a good ole American store, and I saw a woman shoplift a pair of shoes. When I tried to tell the Asian employee working the shoe department, she couldn't understand me. I tried several times to tell her of the theft so she could alert the authorities, and she finally said, "You want footies? I get some." By the time I pursued it with security, it was too late...she was gone.

Interesting, huh?

Have a great day! Sniz

EEEEMommy said...

Priceless!
Oh and pray for me, I have 3 girls. Nice.

Teri said...

That is so funny that LRRH doesn't want to be mentioned except with her stage name. My teenagers are now constantly telling me either 1) "Hey, this would be great for your blog" or, the expected 2) "DON'T put this on your blog."

Such little literary directors. Geez.

Rhea said...

Oh, such brillian observations! Your daughter's hilarious and I can see who she gets it from!!

My husband has a huge pet peeve about the men in sitcoms. He says they're all goofy and retarded and wusses. It's kind of true. That's not the best message, is it?! What's up with that?!

Jenkins said...

No girls in my house, just me. According to the boys that is enough.

There is nothing better than hearing your little one's thoughts on the world around them. Children know so much more than we realize. They take so much in, we have to be careful.
Her questions and comments are priceless, thank you for sharing them.

Elena said...

Oh sheesh, she is going to be just as hilarious as her momma! So funny. Aren't kids perceptive little things.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE the toy store story! And, yes, it is true....

And I love her alternate identity.....

Jennifer P. said...

She is priceless! Somebody needs to get her writing Jerry Seinfeld-esque comedy monologues :)!

Unknown said...

Such a wise young Red :-)

I'm with her on the store one. What with my Kiwi English and American English and the Ones With No English, shopping trips for me can be a trip...

katylinvw said...

lol! she's hillarious! - i think she also has the gift of discernment - to be able to see the way society looks at dads and husbands! she's awesome! tell her that we love hearing about her!

Melissa Lester said...

What a bright girl! My husband has said for years the he doesn't like that kids are portrayed as smarter than parents on TV today. How discerning that she noticed that trend too. When she sees how smart all of us think she is, maybe she will let you talk about her some more!