Sunday, July 13, 2008

If you don't get it, you don't get it

And I'm tired of explaining it.

Explaining what? Explaining what this blog or Mommy blogging is in general to people I know in real life that don't get it.

Explaining to people, yes, the same people that I told back in February 2007 that I started a blog to post pictures and stories about our family, that, hello, they were always asking for.

Explaining to people that I am related to by blood or that I've known most of my life.

Explaining to people I thought would be interested or cared.

Explaining to people who, in the end, just can't be bothered.

Yes, the same people who take the time to forward emails instructing me to act quickly in the next 10 minutes or I will explode into pieces, grow another boobie, lose all my teeth or other such nonsense that requires me to cut and paste the URL from explaining yet again, that I didn't follow the instructions, and I still only have two boobies because that email is bogus...egads, I hate that.

Alas, people who still can't be bothered no matter how many times I plastered my URL in their faces.

My mother told another relative recently to click on my blog to see what's happening in our lives and to see pictures of the kids, blah blah blah.

That's when I knew my own mother wasn't reading regularly, and I told her that the relative would be disappointed. Because as most of YOU know, yeah total strangers, this blog is more about me now. I stopped telling stories and posting pictures of my kids awhile ago.

"Oh," she said, "Why?"

"Because none of you were reading it, Little Red Riding Hood got mad, and I began to enjoy just making this a creative writing (and I use that term verrrry loosely) outlet for me."

Then recently one of my friends in real life (FIRL) who hadn't logged on in awhile, logged on. She asked me who all of you were.

Me: "I don't know."
FIRL: "You mean you don't know any of these people."
Me: "Nope." Well that's not entirely true. Some of you are people I actually know.
FIRL: "How did they find you?"
Me: "I don't know. The spider effect of the internet, I guess."
FIRL: "Wow. "
Me: "Yeah, it's crazy and fascinating at the same time. They are people from all over the world that I've never met, people whose actual voices I've never heard, people who I wouldn't recognize on the street, but they are people who I find extremely interesting, smart, funny, inspiring and who are experiencing alot of the same things as wives and mamas that I am. "

FIRL: "Oh. Ooookay."

Yeah. Whatever.

She doesn't get it.

And I'm done explaining it.

post signature


Jenni said...

Hey, I am a perfect stranger that reads your blog with some regularity. . .and I get it! I still post pics and tell stories, because SOME friends and family read, but a lot of strangers read too. So I try to mix it up. Once in a while I will comment about one of you "Strangers" to my husband and he will say, "But you don't actually know this person, right?" Whatever.

Romi said...

I'm with you.

Only a couple friends read my blog and a few who swear they do - like it's an obligation to say that to me every time we speak, when it isn't.

I like your blog and I'm a total stranger:-) who is normal and nice.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Ok...right now I think I love you...I really haven't bothered telling too many people about my blog...I did make it a signature in my emails...and found out some (ok just 2) friends and family were reading it...but they NEVER post...
As for the emails...and you pasting Snopes links...I so totally do that to...I wish people would take just 30 seconds to check wether or not the missing child email is Really missing..
So for all of that...I love you!!
(you know...just as friends though...)

Kat said...

I despise forwarded emails. The jokes. The prayers. The warnings. I not only do the snopes thing, but I do a "reply all" so that it goes to everyone. And all can bask in the original senders "brilliance."

And my hubby reads. He is amused by my excitement about posts and comments. But, one gets it.

Elena said...

I laughed the whole way through this. (Only because I GET it!) Especially the part about your "unknown" friends. I was trying to get my sister-in-law to do a blog and my brother-in-law said, "Women who blog should be spending a whole lot more time cleaning the bathroom." (Technically he's right, about me anyway, but I wanted to tell him to shove it up his.....) I love my blogging buddies and I love the places all over the world I get to visit every day because of it. So keep on blogging Debbie, my "real" friend. :)

Louisa said...

This is so funny given the email I have just sent you!! Having a little chuckle all the way Down Under!

Amy said...

Nobody ever "GETS" my fun things, their loss :p I quit 'splainin' a long time ago.

I love your blog, never met you, don't know you, but you make me laugh, and think, and I'm staying if you let me! :)

Shannon said...

As a nebiew to this blogging stuff I SOOOO get this. I love blogging. It makes me keep my camera by me at all times. Though the more I do this the more I just want to blog my thoughts and comments about being a mom and less about what My kids are up to. I may just have to start a new blog for that. Thank you for expressing what I feel. I love your BLOG.

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

I started getting involved online heavily in 1998 when I was pregnant with Essie. I joined a board of women who were all expecting babies in December of 1998. A good bunch of us are still together. Most I would probably pass right by on the street but they know me better than pretty much anyone. I get it, and I'm SUPER excited to be getting it more by getting to know NEW people like you!!

Emily said...

Who cares if people get it or not. Let them worry about that. I don't blog for anyone other than myself anyway. It's my escape for the evening. And if other people want to join in the fun and leave comments, that's just a bonus. ;)

Lula! said...

I get it. I get YOU. And that is the mainest thing. Love WILL keep us together.

But for the record, I felt each and every word of this post...felt it down to my toes, because I am so living this with you.

I'm done explaining, too.

Sidney said...

I'm with you and Lula!

Rene said...

Amen Sister!!!

I would turn my family on to this post so they might get the message but then they might be able to find my blog and that would probably not be good! Not good at all!!

Tracy P. said...

Thankfully I've done plenty of things in my life that elicited the lovely blank stare, and I'm over it. What's funny is, my son has a blog about animals, and he is oblivious to the blank stare and still certain everyone must be as jazzed about it as he is. And they are. not.

I get it!

Audrey said...

I'm a stanger, but I'm here and I'm reading and I think many folks can relate to relatives or even local friends who constantly say "what's a blog again?" UG

Caroline said...

Yes, yes, yes. People just don't understand and don't really care. I with you sister.

Life With My 3 Boybarians said...

Try telling people you're going to a conference with 1000 other people - that you've never met - to learn even more about this blogging thing.

Yeah. Same reaction. ;)

BlogHer, here I come!

Wish you were going! Come next year, k?

Kimba said...

I hear you right down to my toes. I was shocked when the people who love me most in real life wouldn't even take the time to pop by my blog and see what it was all about. They still love me, but they just don't get it.

I think I need to follow your lead and stop explaining.

Michelle said...

I SO get it. I don't even mention it unless someone talks about blogs but no one I know has my blog address.... Too much trouble otherwise, I think. I think I'm just too pessimistic about the people who won't get it when I write. But hey, I find you smart and witty and entertaining and inspiring, and I don't know you. Unless freakily enough I happened to live in the same town as you and didn't know this was *your* blog. (Ok, so I have a totally irrational fear that unbeknownst to me, someone who knows me IRL will stumble upon my blog and know the people I'm talking about and totally judge me and spread it around.)

Michelle said...

Ohhh and don't get me started on the snopes thing. Totally irritates me. Especially the two people I have to send it to OVER and OVER for just about every email they send me!

Karin @ 6ByHisDesign said...

Yeah, Dawn stole my love for you. I was gonna say it. Admit it here in this very forum. And then she came before me and stole my very words for herself.

No, truly, perhaps you can love us all. As we most unabashedly love you.

Do. Love you.
Get it. Totally.


The Mom said...

I totally get it and will be writing about it this week too...i swear all us bloggers are on the same wavelength!

Kimberly said...

I loved this. People can be so frustrating...which makes all this even more true!
Who wants to explain to someone who isn't interested and just wants you to look like one of those bandwagon bloggers!
I love your blog!

Tam said...

HI noticed you are a Virginia GAL. I am from Fredericksburg VA...but live in Savannah GA at the moment.

OK so I met my Husband ON AOL back ooo in 1998 b4 there was Eharmony and a plain old chat room. AnyHOO Can you imagine what I had to endure from Friends and Family about that!

Moving forward to my blogging...
Decided to keep that all from my Family up in VA and the few friends I mentioned it to at the Church Scrapbooking NIGHT were just like you described here. They mostly thought I have lost my mind....then I said well did any of you know HOW I met my Husband? NO they said ......I told them and there answer: YOU SO NEED A THERAPIST....or medication.

SO not explaining it anymore...I am just doing what is good for me and well I will sit back and laugh when they decide to BLOG....I am sure they willlllllll one day!!! After all they Scrapbook!

sorry it was soooo long...

One more thing your profile...says
you are in 40 raising kids....I am almost 40 and have a 2 and 4 year old. I am an antique MOMMY...most
of my VA friends had kids graduating High School this year and some are almost done college!!!! LOL LOL LOL

Karen said...

You have hit it, right on the button !!

I stopped trying to explain it awhile ago, now I just give a BAER !!!

BTW, I left an award for you on my blog. :-)

Missy said...

Ooh, this is my favorite:
After you've done a lengthy explanation of what a blog is, yes, they can see pics of the baby there, etc etc and they say...(insert eye roll and deep sigh) "Can't you just do Kodak Easyshare like everyone else?"
Um, no. Because Easyshare isn't going to provide an outlet that allows me to keep my sanity!
Debbie, thanks for documenting this ridiculous phenomenon of non-bloggers. Once again, you're bringing people together!

Tiffany said...

I am so with you on this. Actually, I think I am with you on about everything. You are so my people. I used to be one of them, Heather told me about her blog, I checked it out, but never left a comment. Can you believe it? Now, blogging comes in right after eating, breathing and loving.

Jenkins said...

I am not yet at the blogging for creative writing yet. I started one blog about the family and another, a journal. The journal was started for family to read that is having a hard time understanding some of our circumstances. But it is starting to become a nice outlet for me (instead of yelling or crying at my sweet hubbie).
Just this weekend, I was explaining to my hubbie this whole blogger world and how I just discovered the fun (I am a little behind on the times). He could not comprehend reading someone's blog that you did not know and leaving some random comments. Oh well, he doesn't get it but I am starting to!

Sue said...

Deb, i totally feel you. A very "close" friend just made a snarky comment a few days ago that it's "so weird" that I have all these blog friends "it makes me feel normal". And no, she doesn't bother to read it regularly. My husband's MILF niece, who I wrote a whole post about 2 months ago, has yet to read it.

Heather said...

OH, preach on, sister because I'm nodding my head "YES"!! Noone gets it. I'm seriously thinking of making business cards with an explanation to just hand people.

Bobbi said...

I'm a perfect stranger and I regularly read your blog. I enjoy your writing, so it's your family that's missing out!

Keep up the great job - and remember, you have friends on the world wide web!

Julie said...

yeah, I started thinking my family would love it since I live they can keep up to date with our lives...but she only looks at it every now and then and it makes me mad! Makes me feel like she doesn't care about the kids.

Gina said...

I was going to say that I can relate, but no, actually, I can't. My mom reads, my sisters (2) read, my best friends read- and they all have thier own blogs. The rest of everybody is just not cool enough to rank.

Anonymous said...

I get it. No one in my life gets it. Friends will ask if I'm writing, and when I say, "Yeah, and I started blogging, too," they just look at me funny. I don't bother sharing my URL with anyone I know in real life. When I mention blogging they tune out. So, apparently I have a internet alter-ego that none of my friends/family care to meet. Strange, huh?

Kat said...

My Mom and Heathahlee are the only really close people in my life who check my blog and follow it closely. The Bob only reads what I thrust at him from time to time, my sister seemed to almost make fun of it, and others just don't seem to care. I'm okay with that though. Really. Almost. No, really. I'm okay with it.

Mamasphere said...

The tone of my blog has changed a lot since discovering that hardly any family or friends read it. At first I couldn't believe that they cared so little about what was going on with my family, but now I know it's that they just don't "get it." So I'm over it, and write much more freely because of it. Their loss, our gain. Because I never ever expected to connect so deeply with so many amazing people that I didn't (and really, still don't) know. We are a pretty cool community.

Swirl Girl said...

I would totally recognize you if I saw you in the mall, or the park, or Target, or disneyland.

Mama Dawg said...

Exactly why I don't tell people I blog. I can count on both hands the number of people IRL that read my blog. The rest are all you terrific bloggie people!

Anonymous said...

You know, I didn't even tell people that I started a blog. I didn't start one so others could read it, it was for me.

Now that I am more into blogging, I love to peruse others and see who comments and looks at my blog. I also have perfected the run-on sentence. :)

-- Brandi

Jennifer P. said...

Yup. yup. yup. yup. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. (are you picturing those creepy alien things from Sesame Street?). I knew the whole "blog for family and close friends" thing tanked when I sent out about 60 Christmas cards with our blog name in them, and NO ONE looked. *Sigh*. It's when I stopped trying to talk to all of them and just started writing like I was writing to a vast audience of unknowns that really smart, really nice, really talented people started to read my blog. Ta-da! And now I find I like my bloggy friends just about as much as I like my really friends. AND although my in-law family gives me suuuuuuuuch a hard time about blogging, I notice that just about every one of them checks in daily(they never did that before the seperation mess!). I guess I'm like a car wreck and they just can't look away :)!

Glad you decided to make it all about you girl ;)!

Anonymous said...

Hi Deb, I just received this from an email friend of mine. It made me think of you and blog world,as this friend & I have never meet. she is one of my old ebay customers---- cyber world bonded us! Its a great teachers gift poem however it really can be applied to how one person can effect anothers!



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of
your time and money to help people who had nothing,
and I learned that those who have something should
give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking.'


Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend) influence the life of a child.

How will you touch the life of someone today? Just by
sending this to someone else, you will probably make
them at least think about their influence on others.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

Leave the rest to God.

Becoming Me said...

I relate to this post so well (It actually almost fits into my blog tour, but that is not why I am commenting...promise...besides, you know that I have commented here before). Many people who don't blog, don't get blogging. Not sure why, because it is a wonderful way to keep in touch...but some just don't get it. I was really hurt when I started my first blog that my friends rarely read and never commented. But then I met a whole new world of bloggy friends and somehow, it is all ok with me now.

Connie said...

Debbie, who cares if they "get it"? You blog for yourself and your own reasons... don't bother explainin''s a wonderful creative outlet and we all find your musings interesting enough to keep coming back for more. Who needs the "attaboys" from family members anyways?
I blog to keep a running diary of our crazy life. I tell my kids they can read it to me when I'm in the nursing home. My daughters read it on occasion and a FIRL...but I just found out my blog is the highlight of my mom's day. She says she can't wait to log on when she's at work to read about what's going on in our life.

Anonymous said...

I hear you! I'm tired of trying to explain it too....great post!

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh my, I just had this same conversation not that long ago with my mom. She thought I was crazy and inviting stalkers into my life for having a blog.
As the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire would say, "Parents just don't understand!"

CarolinaMama said...

HIlarious and true! So understand and I just don't bother either. They don't get it. Isnt' kind of funny in a way.

Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the great suggestions for summer kids fun. :)

Lauren W said...

I'm totally right there with you.
Pretty much everybody who finds out that I blog gives me the... "ummm... why don't you just use MySpace?" response.
It's pretty annoying. I mean, maybe I'm just being an elitist here, but somehow, blogger (where you actually are forced to rely on your own wit and experience)is completely not even on the same page as myspace.
Thus endeth my rant.
Meanwhile, I'm so glad you understand my sudden desire to purchase wine based completely on the fact that it's called "Polka Dot". I haven't ever heard of Woop Woop, but I will definitely be keeping my eyes open :)

Kelly said...

The worst is when you DO explain it and they flat out just say....*yeh I just cannot get into the whole blogging thing* knowing for a fact YOU are into the *whole blogging thing* !!!!!!
I think I am going to start saying....
*you know I just do not (get) those people that do not *blog*!!!!

GREAT POST!!!! somehow ya always get across things swirling around in my head! ( but too chicken to post lol )

Swirl Girl said...

PS - i already commented here, but I tagged you too!

Rhea said...

I hate forwards too. Such a pain. Most people don't bother to check if it's an urban legend (which is usually is).

My hubby has ready a few posts recently, and I'm trying to get him more involved...because blogging is so important and special to me.

Some of my family and friends read but definitely not all...and pretty much no one comments. I wish they would.

HeathahLee said...

Okay, I hope you read all the way down here (50 comments? Wow!), but you just crack me up...I'm as tired as you are of sendng and re-sending links to Snopes about (place current email scheme here) that cousins, mothers-in-law, etc, feel they must inform me of. I'm always as polite as I can be but I really want to say, "Are you THAT gullible?"

And I've stopped explaining my blog, too. Y'all understand me, that's all I care about at this point!