Sunday, June 22, 2008

No More Freakin Solicitors, Please!

The following is a true story. The pictures are dramatizations of actual events. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent because I want them gone.

Hey! You! You, in the white car, stop looking in my window and banging on my door not once, not twice, not three times, not four times, not five times, but SIX times in the last 24 hours!



And what's the big idea ringing the doorbell at nine o'freakin clock tonight? What is wrong with you? I don't want what you're selling (unless you're Ed McMahon here to tell me I won the million dollar publisher's clearing house sweepstakes. Oh wait, Ed McMahon is the one that needs the million dollars now that he is b-r-o-k-e. Hmmm, where did all that Johnny Carson money go? And most of you have no idea who Johnny Carson is or that Ed McMahon was his sidekick do you? Sigh.) Hey, Mr. Solicitor with the white car, don't you know it is unwise and unsafe for a woman home alone with small children to open the door to strangers? I don't care if you are from the volunteer fire department. I don't know you. Ergo, you are a stranger. So go away. Leave us alone.

And while I'm at it: To all the other solicitors, I wanna tell you something. I've had it with every stinkin one of you freaks. Don't come to my door anymore pitching your sob story that they undoubtedly coached you up for at magazine subscription selling school about how you want to live in a house like mine one day so would I please buy 55 magazines that I don't need to make your dream come true. Because the next time you come here giving me that sob story about how you want to live in my neighborhood, I'll tell you to do what my husband and I did. Stay out of trouble. Go to school and stay there. Study and get good grades. Find a real job and bust your tootie tot for yourself instead of pimping out your magazine selling services while 8 months pregnant (oh yes she was) in the cold rain for the guy sitting in the van at the end of the street. Oh, oh, and don't you dare tell me that "Mrs. Jones up the street, she bought umm, like 12 subscriptions. She's so nice." Well, umm goodie goodie for her. That's alot of recycling.

And since I'm on a roll: To the future solicitors of America: Unless you are a student, and I know your mother, and you are selling something for a school or organization that I am aware of, and how do you like my really long run on sentence, Go away. Run along. Mama doesn't want any. Oh, what's that? You've heard I was a sucker because I've bought discount cards to restaurants in different states, coupons for bowling alleys and golf courses two counties over, popcorn I'll never eat (oh wait, I did eat that), raffle tickets for things I've never won, enough wrapping paper for the next decade (well, I actually like that, and I bought it from my daughter. So it doesn't count), signed contracts for exterminating services not once but twice, bought tickets to baseball games that I couldn't attend, and yes, subscribed to those blankety blank magazines that I barely have time to read. Well, yeah I've had a hard time saying no to someone asking me to buy something while I'm looking right at them. Oh, and about the trio of very aggressive Jehovah Witnesses that pulled up in their car and blocked my driveway one day while I was out gardening (I don't make up this stuff) and tried to convert me even after I told them repeatedly that I was a born again Christian, that Jesus was my savior, that HE is the truth, that the Bible is the Living Word of God but they kept coming back and coming back and coming back, each time blocking my driveway, well, I was just too nice (scared actually) to tell them to get off my property.

Dagnabit, I've had it. It all ends today. Right now. There's a new lady of the house, and I cannot be held responsible for what she might do.





Don't you dare think about knocking on my door or peeking in my window to try and sell me something because, repeat after me, I don't want what you're selling. Period. End of story. Buh bye. Run along before I learn how to use this thing.


post signature

122 Comments:

Kelly said...

Ok are you out of diet coke!!!???? haha! Yes you definitely have had enough of their annoying tactics! What is even worse is when you actually have a sign on your mailbox that is NEXT to your doorbell that clearly says NO SOLICITORS!!!!!

I am so glad I did not have a full bladder for this post, I am just cracking up, you just said what I think about 95% of us feel.
( oh and if anyone reading this doesn't feel that way, I am sorry I did not mean to speak for you, but just in general I think we are just too busy to deal with things of this nature )

((HUGS))
Kelly

Heather said...

Git 'em, Debbie! I couldn't agree more. I realize that solicitation has got to be one of the hardest jobs out there, but I just want them to leave me alone. And I agree that it's so scary to open the door when I'm home alone with the kids.

SKELLER said...

Buh bye. Did I detect a David Spade drawl with that sentence???
Oh, can I relate. You know what makes this scenario even worse? 2 or 3 boys with their noses touching the window they're looking out (the one next to the door!!) while shouting "Mommy, someone's at the door...."

Trish said...

You go girl!

I love that you took a picture of him!! And sooo creepy that he was looking in your window.

That poor magazine girl that was pregnant, her baby-daddy pimp was probably in the car waiting for her to bring him the money.

Kimba said...

Phew! Feel better? ;-) Me thinks it's time for some caffeine!!

But I do feel your pain. I actually had two pre-teen girls come to my door wearing their bathing suits one day. They had a handwritten list of things that they were selling...

Bag of chips $1.00
Can of soda $.50
Hamburger helper $.50

They had clearly made a list of whatever was in their mom's pantry and were going door to door trying to sell it. I was floored! If I had known who they were I would have called their mom who hopefully would have been mortified. Instead I asked them, "Girls, does your mom know you're doing this?" They ran away. ;-)

Kimba said...

Phew! Feel better? ;-) Me thinks it's time for some caffeine!!

But I do feel your pain. I actually had two pre-teen girls come to my door wearing their bathing suits one day. They had a handwritten list of things that they were selling...

Bag of chips $1.00
Can of soda $.50
Hamburger helper $.50

They had clearly made a list of whatever was in their mom's pantry and were going door to door trying to sell it. I was floored! If I had known who they were I would have called their mom who hopefully would have been mortified. Instead I asked them, "Girls, does your mom know you're doing this?" They ran away. ;-)

RJN said...

This particular person was very "persistent". While I admire their hard work, 90% of the time it is something I don't need and the other 10% I can get through another sales channel. While we are not living in "da hood", it is too risky to answer the door for strangers. ORDER UP THE NO SOLICITOR SIGN!!!

PS: the picture at the end of the post made my LOL. It made my morning!

Lula! said...

ROCK ON! Well said, and totally time someone said it.

Good stuff from my BFF, as always.

Connie said...

You crack me up! I love that you actually took the kid's picture! (or is that a re-enactment?) UNREAL that you have had to deal with so many crazy solicitors. One time I invited my Jehovah Witness lady inside and EVANGELIZED her! It was hilarious. (It really gets them when they open the door and see a CRUCIFIX hanging on the wall...and they are like...you must be Catholic?)

off topic but I wanted to answer your question on my blog...
The need for a cardiologist came when I had a massive heart attack at 38. After a host of clots including a stroke 2 yrs. later...they determined I am Hypercoagulable (clotting disorder) and need to be on coumadin for life. Welcome to middle age!

RJN said...

Yes it was a reenactment starring "the man" :-)

Missy said...

Persistence can be a little creepy! The car blocking your driveway? Jeepers! Actually I had my own Jehovah's Witness stalkers for a while, but then they realized that I am denominationally challenged being an official Presbyterian-Catholic-Lutheran and all, so they figured that even if I converted I wouldn't be a "keeper"!
Go get em' girl!

Elena said...

LOL! So funny and true. You forgot the Schwan's Man. (Do you have Schwan's there?) He's as bad as your JW's were. ANd our magazine sellers are Chicago Gang members who are trying to change their lives. (Im NOT joking.) You really think I'm going to let a big city gangster in my front door? Just please accept my polite no and go away!

Courtney said...

SO SO funny! i LOVE that you took a picture!

Kat said...

We don't get many solicitors here. I've had one for a "free" security system for the house - like I'd let some strange guy off the street do that. From a company I've never heard of. I had to tell him we already had one rather than I wasn't interested.

My only "problem" has been from guys in pick-ups that come by wanting to clean my gutters. They knock on the door and then stand in the yard to smoke a cigarette while they wait for me to answer the door.

Swirl Girl said...

do they have 'call block' for door to door sales sleeze?

I don't buy anything the neighborhood kids are selling- not even my own.

www.swirlgirlspearls.blogspot.com

The Roost'er said...

Oh my stinkin' goodness. I am rollin' on the floor. Plus, totally get it. We have a new door with 3/4 length 'window.' It's gorgeous. But we aren't 'incognito' anymore. So, yes, I'm a freak. But I make my kids hide (with me) in the hallway. I do NOT like unexpected visitors. How would I have survived 50 years ago when people just dropped in?? Oh, wait! The world was a lot safer then. At least, I think it was. And I'm not taking ANY chances. Oh, that and I can't say no, so if we 'aren't around' then I don't have to listen to the shpiel and feel unsafe standing at my won front door. HELLO!

Jennifer P. said...

hoo! hoo! hoo! I have to go back and read some of the comments on this one! I always know it's officially summer when the magazine prostitutes come out. Then I have to junk up the outside of my very pretty house with a big, handwritten NO SOLICITING sign up by my doorbell. Some of 'em still have the guts to knock or ring anyway. Probably don't even know what "soliciting" means......

The worst ones are the ones that catch you when you're outside playing with your kids or working in the yard. I about break an ankle trying to run inside fast enough.

SO $16 a dozen pre-portioned cookie dough for my kids' friends, ok. BUT $50 for a 6 month subscription to Better Homes and Gardens....I don't think so! Let me know when you learn to properly use that shotgun so you can teach me too!!!

Jennifer P. said...

And you know what you ought to post about next----the ferrell neighborhood kids who are like 5 years older than your kids but want to know if they can "play", and NEVER take 'no' for an answer (usually the conversation just ends with: Um, well, we heard you had a wii---can we play it?! HELLO?!?!?) They scare me as much as the J-dubs any day!

Katy Lin :) said...

i agree 100%, i don't understand why there are still companies that use this method of sales - there cannot be that many people who actually listen to their whole schpeel!

i've given you an award! :) it's waiting for you on today's post :)

Melissa Lester said...

Yes, I don't like people stopping by unannounced and uninvited. And they are generally so pushy and won't take a polite no for an answer. Then I hate myself for being too sweet and letting them control our encounter, when I want to just say, "Go away and don't come back." I don't ever give salespeople information on my neighbors, though, and do not like it when someone tells me my neighbor down the street told them I have children and might be interested in a set of really expensive books.

On another note, I guess we've fallen off the no-call list because we are getting a lot more telephone solicitation these days. And when I say, "Thank you, but we don't accept telephone solicitation," they respond, "I understand. I'm not calling to solicit anything. I just thought you might be interested in this great deal ..." CLICK. But then I feel guilty for being rude, and it will bother me all day!

And the school selling business is touchy, too. I had a bad experience when I was 7 or 8 and I roamed around my grandmother's neighborhood taking popcorn orders. But by the time the popcorn came I couldn't remember who had bought it, so wound up leaving bags of popcorn on random doorsteps. So I don't send my kids out to sell stuff and sometimes just buy the number of junkie items they need to get to go to the party. But then I have friends who will let their kids approach me constantly asking me repeatedly to support the same fundraiser I may have already declined.

Boy, who knew I had so much to say about this? But on a more positive note, I do love my Girl Scout cookies! And childrens clothing trunk shows, Southern Living at Home and Pampered Chef are super fun!

Tracy P. said...

Oh my gosh, I am so with you! We had a woman stop at our door and offer us a free bottle of Febreeze if we'd give our opinion about another product, so I said ok. She went out for "the product", and two HOURS later we shoved her partner the Kirby vaccuum dude out the door. Hope he reads your post!!

Emily said...

Oh Man, this just happened to me too about a month ago. 4 times in one day, and then 4 times the next day, and then 4 times the day after that-- all while Jeff was gone, so needless to say that the kids and I stayed in total lockdown, blinds drawn and whispering voices for days and days. When Jeff got home I pleated with him to answer the door and stop this madness. It was a magazine man, selling overpriced subscriptions. When Jeff told him no thanks, he wanted names and addresses of friends and family-- WHATEVER! And he came late too-- the latest being 9:30 and dark out. WHATEVER!

Evi said...

I hear ya.
My neighborhood JW lady actually tried to get a conversation going with me while I had my butt hanging out the front window cleaning my front window (the only way it worked with my roll out windows).
PERSISTENT to a FAULT.
And don't even get me started on the PHONE solicitation!!!!
When they ask for my husband or me I just tell them...'Hold on a second, I'll go see if they are free to talk'...and then I walk away...for...EVER. (One guy actually stayed on the line like that for 20 minutes...JIMMINY!!!)

Mrs. R said...

HA!!! Fortunately I have a Chiuaua that thinks he is a Pit Bull. He is so loud, it cracks me up.

And, I totally know who Ed M is AND JC, just for the record. Although, to me, Ed is more famous....Star Search baby!

Trish said...

Okay, so call me dim, but when I read this the first time I somehow missed the "reenactment" part.
I thought that was really a picture of the Solicitor.........

That would have been so funny, but what is even funnier to me now is that you made the man reenact it all just so you could blog about it.
genius my friend. sheer genius!

Trooper Thorn said...

Even out in the country, with dogs, solicitors have reduced us to shut-ins. Shut-ins!

Unless it is Halloween, you are below 5 feet tall and dressed like a fairy or a cowboy, keep your stubby fingers of my doorbell. I'll sick the Crow Baby on you.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I just told my DH yesterday....I will make a sign for the front that says "No Solicating (only it will be spelled correct) Unless you are under the age of 15 and are selling for a Local Sport or Local School."

Think it'll work??

Sarah Mae said...

I can't seem to hardly say "no" to someone in person, so I just tell them that my husband makes the decisions and they'll have to come back when he's home - they usually don't come back, and if they do, we run and hide!

That's so cool that you're also PSU alum! YAY - now if only we could meet up with Kimba at a game! :)

Mama Dawg said...

Man, I'm so glad I live in the country. I DO NOT miss the soliciters or the Witnesses.

Life With My 3 Boybarians said...

Will you answer your darn door??? I'm standing out here with some swampland to sell ya'!

EEEEMommy said...

I had a girl on my doorstep this afternoon actually roll her eyes and get an attitude with me when I wouldn't give her money for her group. Whatevah!

Parker said...

You go Sister Girl. You crack me up.
HUGS,
Kat

Kristy said...

HAHA to funny! I needed that laugh this morning. I hope they leave you alone before you learn to use that thing!

trashalou said...

You should post that picture of 'The New Lady Of The House' next to the 'NO SOLICITORS' sign.

Am laughing b/c the post was funny but also b/c when I read 'solicitors' I thught you meant lawyers *sigh* just another one ofthose little crosscultural details I spend my life ironing out ;-)

Givinya De Elba said...

Debbie, I loved it! We are peas in a pod. Christians who get a little ... bit ... mad ... and who have to exercise all the GRACE we've been given not to scratch "I forgive you" in the bonnet of the Jehovah's Witnesses' car ...

(I admit the bonnet-scratching joke was shamelessly pinched from author Adrian Plass.)

GdeE

American in Norway said...

L O V E it! You said everything we all want to.... Nice job.
Congrats on being SITS blog!

Lane Boyz Mom said...

HAHAHAHA Someone who could possibly be living MY life;) We hadn't lived here, oh two weeks, last summer, just bought a BRAND NEW DYSON (which I LOVE, btw) and here comes the KIRBY dealer....well, kinda, they sent a hot young chick, and hubby answered the door, and in all of his studliness, he let her in...she made a phone call to the REAL salesman, and within a minute, ding dong....he was through the door...and she was gone like a dream! LOL

Yup, you can bet the old man got to sit through that TWO hour speel! I unpacked and had a very nice morning ALONE, hahahahahaha

OH...he did try to talk me into buying the darn thing too, that man is weak, he cannot say no and that says a lot coming from the walking doormat! LOL

Sheri said...

Oh, too funny! SO glad I don't live in a neighborhood with sidewalks! Cuts down on the people walking up to the door!! Loved it . .

EmBee said...

Wrapping paper... I definitely love the wrapping paper too!... Oh, and Girl Scout Cookies, I never met a Girl Scout I didn't like!

Jenkins said...

That is too funny. I love that you toke a picture! Wonder what he was thinking if he saw you take it...maybe he won't be coming back.
Carrie

Shelley said...

You tell 'em Momma!!! By the way..I LOVE coke with lemon...even better is Pepsi with Lime!! :-)
Great blog...I'll be back.

Blessings
Shelley

Nan said...

Super funny! Not what happened...the way you told it! The past two summers I have had people try to sell me educational books. The first one was super sketchy! Then last summer he was the peddler who wouldn't stop. He came by my house 3 times in like 4 days. He went through his whole story each time! I had already told him NO and then he came back again. Then he came back when he saw hubby in the driveway. Hubby told him to ask me. So he came back AGAIN! In the morning. Just before 8 in the morning. Seriously! Kids are asleep! The hour on the clock was 7!!!! I mean, it was almost 8, but it wasn't yet!!!!
Then there was the guy who wanted to me a...let him in my house, b...pour cheerwine on my carpet, c...show how great his cleaning product was! I THINK NOT!
Then, the one selling magazines...so he could go on a trip, to the Carribean! You must be kidding!

Toni said...

I love coke with lemon too, i got hooked on it while in spain. I hate the solicitors too and now I can no longer pretend I am not home b/c my kids hear the doorbell and start screaming Mom someones at the door right by the door, so much for avoiding them LOL

Jane said...

Woah! Freaky, this happened to me last night. I stood on the porch with this poor kid for 30 minutes trying to explain to him that he needs to stop this magazine crap and go to college. Poor kids.

I almost bought a magazine before I came to my senses.

Love your blog!

Caroline said...

Oh you poor dear. The nerve of some people. I just recently posted about a telemarketer I encountered who gave me a good case of phone rage. Does your neighborhood have rules against solicitors? If not, become a member of the NRA.

Simply Stork said...

how funny...we use our back door and I think it's a hoot when I open the front door to find fliers...lots and lots of fliers...the funniest one was a flier for saving the planet...remember to recycle(It was left on every door step from here to the highway...and yes they were indeed green...and no they did not say on the flier to recycle it) LOL

Simply Stork said...

is that how you spell flier??? I sure used the word alot for not knowing how it is spelled :o) LOL

~simply~

Jaci said...

Haha! You rock! I'm making you my new bloggy friend! :)

Sue said...

OMG SITSsta! I have those same guys come twice - and one little shit had the balls to say 'come on- you can afford it". They gave me the same bullcrap about 'wanting to live in my neighborhood'. Hell-to-the -No you pushy freak!!!!!! Anyway :) Love your blog.

Mrs. Who said...

So, so true. I peek through the curtains and, if it's not someone I know or the UPS guy, that door is not opening. We have actually had crimes where, when a door was opened, the criminal forced his way in.

Rhea said...

I agree, enough is enough!! We all reach a point where nice isn't working and we've had enough. Well said.

You go, girl!

Jennifer said...

I so agree! I refuse to answer the door anymore, it's always something!

You're too funny!

Shanna said...

Your page is so STINKIN' cute! I love this entry. We finally had to put a no solicitors sign - really worked for us...but who knows, that kid knockin on your door at 9 pm may just not "see" it :P

Z's Mom said...

WOW! They sure are persistent with you. I wholeheartedly agree though. I'm a single mom and I DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR if I don't know the person. Its not worth the risk. I had a sign on my door that said "no solicitors" for so long that it faded...I guess I need to make a new one. Mostly all I get is the polictical survey people...and once I vehemently prounounce myself Anti-Republican, they don't want to survey me anyway...hmmm....sounds like that might be a big skewed. I digress though...
For those pesky Jehovah Witnesses blocking your driveway...perhaps you need to THROW the Good Book at them and let them FEEL the word of GOD...just a thought.

Party of 5 said...

AMEN SITSA! Thankfully I live in military housing and do not have this issue. I don't look forward to the day when we move off base and I have to deal. Okay thats it I am moving into the country. So if anyone moseys on up my drive I can shoot em right?

Neurotically Yours: said...

I think I'll print this out and hang it on my front door!

Kacey said...

I was just agreeing with the comment above. Amen! Amen! Amen! Go away solicitors! You are so funny...I just loved this.

Robin said...

LOL!!!!!!! Amen SISTA!

Julie N said...

Amen!!!!!!!! Great post and love the pics, especially the lady with the shotgun!

Melanie said...

Hilarious!! Oh how I love living in the country.

Karen said...

I love it !!!

I once told a couple of persistant Jehovah Witnesses that if they wanted to come back at midnight, I had 12 friends coming around for a coven meeting and they'd be more that welcome. They sort of backed off and now hurry past my house when they're on their rounds.

Memarie Lane said...

LOL you must live in a nice neighborhood. In my neighborhood the only solicitor types we get are Jehovah's Witnesses and people that work for lobbyists with petitions for more money for social programs.

Rhiana said...

I agree! I can't say no if I open the door so I don't open the door. And "Hello!" Don't people know it's not safe to go door to door any more?

Kris said...

One of the cute little boys in the neighborhood came around selling rocks the other day. I'll take two of course! It cost me a whole dime.

But anything else? Don't come to me - I'll come to you!

Jenni said...

I started using the "If I buy another thing at the door my husband will shoot me?" (Passing the buck is usually effective). routine and then they just accussed me of having no mind of my own and suggested I grow some independence! Do you think those comments will make me MORE likely to buy your crap??

I try not to answer the door because I have a hard time telling them where to go -- I even posted about an experience a couple months ago! (It was not one of my shining moments!)

Jenni said...

That quote wasn't supposed to be a question!:)

StacyRenee said...

This was me last week and I finally called up all the numbers on the little papers tucked under my no soliciters sign and told them that it included them. I do not want your roofing business I do not want your professional yard service I do not need your bug spray........and so om........I haven't had any since!!! Although I am expecting the "can we clean your carpet" lady to come back even though I have showed her the wood floors and leather furniture?!?

Mamasphere said...

That post was so funny!

I lost my cool long ago. I don't even answer the door anymore. And I don't care that they know I'm home because they saw me peak out of my front window blinds.

Jacki McHale said...

That was beautiful... I got all teared up, and I want to brodcast it from my roof top every time those "college kids" are dropped of to wander my neighborhood for hours stalking me and my poor neighbors... and don't even get me started on the Jahovah Witness freaks... great blog by the way!

Jacki
SITS sister!

angie said...

Just hopped over from SITS and I'm SO with you on this one. Loved it.

Dot said...

soooo annoying. Don't you just wish you could really pull the gun out sometimes! :) New here, you have a really cute blog,

dot

Cray and Bickford Family said...

For as long as I have lived in my home we have NEVER EVER gotten a solicitor! How is that?

Good luck to you!

Mama Bee said...

I was so over solicitors annoying me that I typed up a two paragraph addendum and tacked it up under my "No Soliciting" sign next to my front door. It listed all of the possible solicitors (i.e. all of them) with whom I had no interest in talking to! And it totally worked!

The only embarrassing thing was when I had visitors/friends over and they would stop and read the sign that I had completely forgotten about!

lfamily5 said...

AMEN Sitsa! I love this post! I felt like I was reading my own life story with solicitors! I love it!

Sue said...

One of my neighbors said "I'm not sure soliciting is allowed here, but let me call the police and find out." GONE!!!!!!!!!!!

Melissa said...

It isn't the door so much here, but the phone. Caller ID is the best invention this side of heaven.
We get the JW's at the door trying to bring us to the darkside with Watchtower stuff. They are about as pushy as solicitors! Just give me Jesus.

-Bridget said...

We don't get many solicitors around here. The home owner's association sees one and they are on it like a pack of wolves. I can see though how I would get annoyed if I had them regularly. Especially if I had the baby down to sleep and they rang the doorbell and woke her up. Then they'd see mama bear get pretty ticked.

MomMega said...

Hmmm...we just disconnected our doorbell. Of course, when people stand there and the dog is awake, he barks, but they have no idea I am home. Also, if by chance someone does knock on the door and my hubby is home, his alter-ego (Dreamkiller) comes out and he pretty much turns anyone selling anything into a shell of their former self by telling them exactly why we don't need what they are selling.

P.S. I am not a JW, but my parents are, and just to clarify they do use THE bible and believe in Jesus and consider themselves to be Christian...And that's all I will say about that :) (But I, too, choose not to answer the door when they come a knockin')

Amy said...

You go Debbie! You said what we were all thinking! Good for you!

deconstructing jen said...

Haha, that was too funny! :D

Cristin said...

Those magazine people have been here a couple times... trying to make me feel guilty for having 'such a nice home'... One even yelled at me for not buying a magazine because I 'obviously can afford it'... yah honey, I can afford it because I don't waste money on magazines I don't need...

Chandra Stauffer said...

You, my dear, are a hoot!

Vicki said...

We those magazine sellers in Virginia. I got so sick of it I did some research and found a website that they could go to for help out of that slave trade.

Every time someone would come up to the door trying to sell magazines I'd hand them the sheet and tell them I know that they're probably stuck doing this and would rather quit so go to this website and get help for yourself.

They'd deny it but I'd shut the door in their face.

I got sick of saying yes to everyone long ago. I don't buy from anyone...unless it's a girlscout selling cookies. That's the only time I say yes.

Vicki said...

I couldn't click on the link but I can give a good educated guess:
The name Vicki (not Victoria) was never in any top anything. Unless it was in the top names people don't name their kids.

That being said, I have a friend in this very small town whose name is Vicki. And spelled correctly too. Oh, I know two people here named Debbie...over 40...

scargosun said...

Can I print this and hang it on my door please!

Mommy Meryl said...

So - I never really got this. Where do they think they are endearing themselves to you by being big guys who you don't know ringing the door at 9pm??? I have often wondered as they continue to knock on the door and I continue to not answer. . .tell me that god forbid if they were "bad guys" and I answered the door and something happened and it was all over the news that you and everyone else wouldn't be saying "that is so sad - but she was such an idiot - who opens the door for strangers at night???".

Me said...

I *totally* agree with you. Before I moved I had solicitors that weren't satisfied with just knocking on the door, they would find an open window and yell into the house for me.

Lovely.

I feel sorry for people who work nights.

Kristinia - Loving Heart Mommy said...

Found you from the Sitstahood, solicitors are definately annoying, especially when they try to catch you out in the parking lot of the grocery store or even Wal-Mart.. I think to myself.. Hello I have kids and I don't have all the money in the world to contribute to people who just walk up to me trying to con me into paying for something that probably isn't even worthwhile to begin with!

They'll do this walk up approach all hours of the day .. its very annoying, thank God I live in a gate apartment community but they will still even slip in here... and be knocking, I try my best to keep my son quite and ignore the knocks! LOL and half the time they are people who aren't dressed professionally and are rarely even carrying a brief case... soo most are cons , its a sad world these days!

Melissa said...

haha, that was great! I totally agree, but luckily I don't have to deal with that stuff yet.

Hairline Fracture said...

SO true! For some reason we don't get a lot of door to door solicitors, but I am kicking myself because I did order some "books" from some college boys. I say "books" because it's been weeks and I've never seen them again. Lesson learned.

LaDeana said...

I am so glad I am not the only one who feels this way. I was the sucker our first year in this house hence the hoity toity alarm system. Now I just ignore them or make us some excuse. The people selling magazines are creapy too. I think I saw some of them on Cops once.

Jessica G. said...

I had a solicitor *steal* my No Solicitors sign! Saw him walking away, tucking it in his backpack!

Found you through SITS and so glad I stopped by.

Mama's Losin' It said...

And where have you been hiding? I haven't seen your blog yet...have I??

This is hilarious. And to the men selling vaccuums...back the freak up!!

Heather said...

93 COMMENTS!!! Look at you, girl!

Sunshine said...

Amen! Preach it, SITSta!

I'm going to copy it and hang it on my front door. I am. I freakin am. :)

Allmykids123 said...

You go girl! We live in a guarded neighborhood (which helps a little) and our lot is fenced and gated (which helps a little) and have a killer Labrador (which helps A LOT!) Keep up the good work, ridding the world of solicitors, one at a time.

Debbie said...

Amen SITSta! I made a little sign for the door window that says "NO SOLICITORS!" Do they read it? No. Do they know what a solicitor is? Apparently not, since they're still standing there while I point at the sign and the dog barks his fool head off and the 3 year old is screaming, "Who is it, MAMA???" and the cat is running for safe cover under my bed. Go to hell, door to door solicitors. The telemarketers are waiting for you there!

Ann said...

Hellooooo! By way of SITS!
I would be so freaked out if someone came knocking at 9:00.
And I feel answering the door is like answering the phone... you have chosen to visit/phone when it is convenient for you. It isn't convenient for me so I don't have to answer.
(Or, as my kids have heard me say 'Just because it's ringing/knocking, doesn't mean we have to answer'.)
Have fun with the SITS luv!

Julie said...

Amen SITSta! No more knocking late and please can we get the telemarketers to not call after 9 too?

Smoochiefrog said...

LOVE IT!!!! Now if they would just listen right?

Sherri said...

Wow! Do you live in Kaysville too?? This is a HUGE problem here!! I really like it when they say that they didn't see my no solicitor sign that's hanging right in there stupid faces!!!

Adrienne said...

OMG You are so funny, speaking of solicitors... we just had one walk up to our door. I accidentally left the door ajar so we couldn't get away with not answering the door. Lame. Preaching about Obama and McCain and wanting some money for people working 14 hour days... I laughed out loud because Im broke. hahahah

Sits!
http://scrappin-a-rose.blogspot.com/

Laurel said...

Funny girl. Don't you feel better now?

Gina said...

You tell 'em!!!
Don't get me started on Jehovah's Witnesses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heidi Rogers said...

OOh I am the worst if they come to my door, I am a SUCKER!! One guy came in to sell me meat and asked for a drink, so I got him a bottle of water and then told him "Really not interested and that I needed to get going" So I went down my stairs (3 stairs) came up and he ate some of my sons chicken nuggets!!! and said "he wanted to give me some" Who does that??

Michelle said...

Hee hee hee!

I hate solicitors, but I'm the one my husband sends to the door to take care of them. He feels guilty. I say no.

Then again, when I was maybe 10 or 12, I was home alone when a neighbor called warning me that there were Jehovah's Witnesses soliciting. Me being young and naive (and apparently watching a few too many horror films) armed myself and the friend who was over helping with a homework assignment with kitchen knives and a screwdriver and hid ourselves behind the door in fear that they'd try to break in and hurt us. Eventually, they went away, and I've since grown.

Good luck with keeping the solicitors at bay!

Tausha said...

I haven't read anyone elses blog-maybe someone already said this-but here in utah we have really cute vinyl "no Soliciting" (hows that for a run on sentance!)
Anyway, you just put them ledge of the window next to your door. Since I have put that baby up, no unwanted knocks. (this does not include kids :) If you don't have access to a cute one-and you want one-let me know. I wil you one up on the crikut and send it out to you licety split!!!
Really-not hard. Who wants an ugly no soliciting sign. Just yell at them, act crazy and tell them to GO AWAY! Say you are out of Diet Coke and they just might get hurt! Ha!!

Angela said...

You are a nut! :)

Tam said...

SO so funny and yet so true! I have a similiar post a few months back when the door bell rings! LOL

AFRo said...

VERY eloquently put together!!! I'm rolling over laughing at you over here.

Congrats from a SITsta <- did I spell it right? on being the featured blogger today!

MamaBriggs said...

LMAO. When someone knocks at the door and I know that they are selling something I let my dog(siberian husky) go bark at the window for a few minutes, they leave very fast! Congrats on being the featured!

Marla said...

good stuff... I had these late night stalkings once when some bounty hunters were convinced I was harboring someone they were after because he used my business fax number has his contact number. I was 6 months prego at the time and the refused to leave until I showed them my business card - same time 9pm and I was scared to death! thank god my giant italian brother in law was in town...

MoziEsmé said...

Love the pictures! You sure the gun-totin' one isn't a real one of you?! It looks just like the voice I'm reading!

Yep, they sure can be annoying - especially when you don't have time to deal with them. I try to tell myself God may have a purpose for bringing them to my door at that precise moment, but it sure tries the patience sometimes!

Judy Haley said...

i hate those stalker/soliciters too

Nichole Jolene said...

my hubby LOVES anyone coming to the door. WEIRDO!

Rph Mommy said...

We had one ring our doorbell at 9:30 one night last week. The Husband opened the door and asked "are you for real?" Chick proceeded to give him her carpet cleaning spiel. He didn't feel bad closing the door in her face.

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

I do believe you are the voice for all SAHMs. We need you to speak out for us all on this subject. This post was so much fun to read!!!!

T-Luh said...

Okay, so I must tell you that this post was not only entertainment, but also a PSA for me...way to go! Thanks Debbie!

And beware..."James" something or other is in our 'hood. He just rang our doorbell and asked me if my mom was home. I took full advantage of that one and said, "No." (she's not...she doesn't live here) He then launched in to his sob story about how he needed points for his career training and that I could help by buying a magazine. I told him we didn't need any more magazines. He then said, "It's hot out here! Can I come in for a glass of water?" This blog post ran through my mind and I thought, "Uh, no...I'm home alone...you cannot come in my house." Honestly Debbie, before I read your post I may have just let him in and got him some water. (It really is hot outside and I'm ever the people pleaser.) Well thank you for this post and reminding me that it's NOT okay to come knocking on my door asking me for money. I completely agree with you...do it our way- get an education and work hard. Earn your money...quit asking people for theirs! Or I'll call up my friend Debbie and she'll march down our street and tell you what I REALLY want to say to you! Hmm, what I should have done is take his clipboard where he was asking me to write my name and post my pledge to him...I should have written down the URL to this post and told him THAT was my contribution to helping him reach his goal!

I may be down to borrow "that thing" of yours...you can teach me how to use it! ;p

Feathering My Nest said...

Way to go Debbie! You need a sign that says, "Smith and Wesson Does My Talking For Me....Now Git."

I'm just as annoyed with the phone callers, but don't get me started. Great post. Kathi

WheresMyAngels said...

Never get them in our neighborhood! Now I do get the girl whom comes over and says her mom needs to borrow 20 dollars for pizza. You know the mother, whom has never worked and lays on the sofa all day. Hey lazy mom, give me 50 worth of food stamps and I'll give you the 20!

amanda said...

One word. AWESOME!

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