Monday, June 2, 2008

Mommy Blogging- "Commenting and the "L" word"

Ok, so, I promised to tell you what happened as a result of a comment. But, you'll have to wait just a tad bit longer for that.

Because we need to talk.

About comments.

And about L ... L ...L ...ugh, I can't get the word out of my keyboard ...L ...lurking. There I said it. Now I need a shower.

As a result of making "friends in my laptop" and the whole spider web thing that happens in blogging, I have been extremely taken aback by the increased traffic I have enjoyed over the last few months. I am not an attention seeker, and I don’t have the desire to be the most clicked on site on the planet. I enjoy having a following of people who like to interact by sitting down behind their computer with their beverage of choice, clicking over for a visit and letting me know they were here and vice versa. I'm not gonna lie girls! Who doesn’t love comments. They are like little presents left behind by the blogger gremlins. There is nothing more disappointing than taking two hours to type, edit, re-type, edit, re-type and publish a post only to receive no feedback especially when you know someone is there. I don't care if you hate what I said, or agree with what I said or tell me as one commenter did that she didn’t think she liked me because she thought I seemed “too perfect, too smart, and too funny,” (although I have to admit that one stung for a couple of days) I still like feedback. I always try to read the blogs of those people who take the time to read and comment on what I've written. Whenever I visit a blog, I almost always leave a comment whether or not I ever go back. Give your fellow bloggers some love will ya. If you are a blogger and complain about not getting enough comments well then let me remind you of the unwritten blogger promise. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about, but you just won’t admit it: It’s the “I'll comment on yours if you comment on mine,” blogger promise. (I told ya I was going to talk about things we think about but won't admit.) But you know what, you really need to have that exchange if you are in it to build relationships. If you are in it for glory or comment stock piling or to become the blogarina of the decade, then you will be insincere in your commenting and people like me will sniff it out and never return the favor. I can't stand phonies with transparent motives.

Having said all that, my discussion of Mommy blogging wouldn’t be complete without acknowledging my bloggy friends who read what I have to say but never leave a comment. I am not going to use the “L” word because we all know that it gives me the creeps. But, I just want you to know that I know you are there, and I appreciate your “repeat” business. My favorite stat on my statcounter is “Multiple visits spread over more than one day” next to the IP address. (Don’t worry, I have no idea who anyone is and can’t track you down). But, seeing that always makes me smile. I’d rather have less traffic and repeat "bidness" than lots of “one and dones.” Because if you come back, then it means I'm doing something right, and I do appreciate every click I get, even the silent ones.

Now, let me tell you what happened as the result of a comment....

Last week, I left a comment on someone else's blog about the middle school I attended in San Antonio, Texas and the high school I would have attended had we not moved the summer before ninth grade. Shanan from All My Kids 123 saw the comment, clicked over to my blog, left me a comment that she went to that same middle school and high school around the same time. We exchanged emails, and as it turns out, she went to elementary school with my younger brother, hung out with my NEXT door neighbor, dated one of my brother's best friends in high school and is still close friends with his two other best buddy's from back in the day. Oh yeah, let's queue it up girls: "It's a small world after all. " Yes, six degrees of separation exists even in the blogosphere. But you'll never know unless you put yourself out there. And if you don't, that's ok, too.

Because I have been heavy on words and light on pics for the last few days, I decided to tag on a little show and tell to this post. My new bloggy friend Shanan (All my Kids 123) posted about this cool giraffe print purse she bought new on Ebay which I drooled over and decided I must have since it wasn't very expensive. This one is similar to hers, not exact, because I decided that would be kind of weird. So $24.99-and-a-$5.00-off-shipping-coupon-later, I ordered one up and it will be arriving in the next week. Love it. And the moral of the story is that I got this cute little number all because of a comment she left that sent me to her blog!

Next Mommy Blogging topic: When, where, how, and do I need a 12 step program yet?

Meanwhile, do you have any fun stories about comments left on your blog?

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Connie said...

>>Who doesn’t love comments. They are like little presents left behind by the blogger gremlins.<<

I'm not gonna lie...this totally cracked me up. I never expected comments when I started blogging but you're exactly right- they are like little presents left behind by the blogger gremlins. And I look forward to reading them too.

I'm a newbie blogger and I personally just wanted to thank you for leaving behind your little presents.

Missy said...

I'm right on board with your opinion about comments...if you want something "real" (or to maximize the amazing blogging community out there), it requires you to put in some effort (ie comments) just as you would for a friend that lives in your town. Plus, you just never know how a nice comment will affect someone's day!

No weird comments for me so far, but I really want to know how folks from Albania, Greece, Israel and Slovakia found it? I think it is because my daughter's name is unusual in the states, but common in Israel and eastern Europe. Or they want to read about wanna-be bull riders. (:

This is a great series of posts...can't wait for the next one!

EEEEMommy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SKELLER said...

Hey -
very cool giraffe purse (and I'm not even a purse kind of gal!!).
in defense of some dear "lurkers" ... I actually know many (and I used to be one) who come, peruse, and would like to leave comments, but because blogspot isn't terribly user-friendly for non-blogspot users/bloggers, they simply don't leave comments. I guess that would be one legit reason to use something like Haloscan for comments (cause then ANYBODY can easily leave a message without feeling like they have to sign up for something they don't want, just to say "hi.").

Happy Monday to you.... I'm enjoying this series :-)

Kat said...

I love my comments. And as you know I am truly fascinated with those that stumble onto my little piece of cyberspace. Part of me wishes everyone would comment. Even with things like "oh, so sorry to bother you. I was actually looking for a recipe for lemonade when google misdirected me to your blog."

Carrie said...

I am a lurker here, I don't mean to lurk but you are often so articulate that I feel that I have nothing to add ... until today.

I, too, love the purse ;)

Jennifer P. said...

Ya--I know i have lots of readers who read and don't say a thing. EIther they "come out" eventually, or I just figure they're interested--but not that interested! I really take a lot of time considering who I want to link because every name I stick on my friends list becomes one more person I will make a commitment to check up and in on. If I don't feel a connection--I don't put the name up there. But I agree, those who take the time to leave ME comments are usually the first that I link!

I left a comment on Jennifer Paganelli's site. She's like a rockstar in the design world. And now she actually knows who I am and passes along samples of her new fabric line to me. How awesome is that?! She mostly emails me rather than comments, but boy! it makes me feel like a million bucks!

Also, I told 'new boots' how everyone was wanting to know who he was, and how much attention male bloggers get. This morning, he'd left me a comment. I went to his "blog" (just a front for commenting) and he'd already gotten 13 profile views! Hilarious!!! And btw, he really is just a friend who's become a great helper around here for lugging heavy stuff around as needed. I think he'd like to be more than a friend, but I'm not looking to go there for a long time yet. Like you asked! Alrighty, I'm done commenting now ;)!

Gina said...

No, I've never had anything funny in comment land- unless you count the way I delurked to you!

Brian and Staci said...

I clicked on over from Jennifer Peterson's blog. This is my first time on your I'm DEFINITELY leaving a comment :) Hee hee! I'm going to add you to my new fav's!

Simply Stork said...

A few gal pals found out I had a blog and started reading...I used to keep my blogging as my guilty secret but my kiddo's and hubby can't keep it quiet...along with my family they began talking to friends and family about the pics and stories I was telling on my blog and so people I know started reading...because they were lurkers they did not leave messages...until one day one did...she felt like she knew me...They are now good friends of mine...I still get many comments from them and I am so glad to have new friends both on line and off ;o)


Heather said...

I don't have any interesting comment stories, but I did want to say that I'm constantly amazed at how close I feel to my regular commenters. I honestly would call any one of them friends. And I love leaving comments. It's definitely like dropping a little present in someone's lap. It's fun!

Elena Manwaring said...

My most interesting comment story is (actually not really a comment, but kind of...anyway) that my ex-boyfriend's wife called me on the phone. (After 12 years of ZERO contact.) It was their anniversary and she said he had come home to tell her he had found my blog. Let's just say she wasn't happy about the timing of things. But it actually turned out to be a very postive thing for all involved. And all because of my blog.... (But I hope they no longer look at mine. It's just better that way.) :)

ohhollyf said...

Busted, I haven't left a comment in a while, although I have been reading, it's just hard to type w/ a 6month old teething in my lap. Can I get a "get out of comment" pass?
Anyhow, don't melt in this heat we're having!

Kimba said...

I don't have any good stories yet but it's funny how quickly you can feel a connection with someone through their blog - you for example.

I had seen your picture next to your comments on other people's blogs but for some reason never clicked over. Then you popped into my blog and I popped onto yours and, voila, a new blogging friend.

Embracing the Ordinary Day said...

That is so funny...I think the same things...Just so you know I found you through SITS site...I hear on occation..."yeah, I read your blog..." but comment?? My DH reads and never says anything...I think I need to complain about him more...LOL.

I think you are cool and will check back...oh and I have a similar internet story, not related to my can be a blessing at times when you connect with someone special.

Cindy said...

I feel like a little kid who got caught with her hand in the cookie jar! I started a blog in January for my husband's family to try to stay connected and in the process discovered this whole wonderful world. There are so many interesting, and entertaining blogs I'm enjoying (and yes I now realize I'm a l-----). I'm thinking maybe I should start my own blog and see what happens. Thanks for your comments about commenting and the "L" word - there's no instruction manual out there - this is helpful.

Kelly said...

Wow, scary post something that I have been thinking, but don't post about it myself, yeh I know, I am a wimp, lol.
You are right on the money with every word.....I was thinking things like.....*hmm.....wonder why I left a llllloooonnnnggggg comment on her post but then she only left a three word comment on mine....hmm...she must not like me or my blog, or was it a boring post???*
Am I nuts for thinking this way? I mean am I juvenile or what!!?? I don't think this all the time but it has crossed my mind on occasion. I try to just think of my blog as just a journal to myself and that if people enjoy it then cool. I never imagined people would actually read it, honestly I never thought in a million years I would meet such good friends, and I thank God for all of you, I have learned so much and have grown in so many ways because of my blogging friends!!!!!!!!
Thank You~


Oh and adorable bag!!!!!!!

Sunshine Buzo said...

Hey found you through SITS! Okay, so I'm a lurker too, but I do love me some comments and I do actually love to leave comments too! I tend to actually blog on people's comments! I think it's my thing.

So basically, I have just recently joined the blogger world and LOVE IT (I'm in loooooove)and just don't have enough time to feed my latest obsession...THAT and that I take care of a baby and her bed is in the computer room, so any ounce of free time I might have while she's a-napping IS NOT on the computer. Darn it. Right now I'm squeezing in my blog/reading/commenting fixes, but SUMMER IS ALMOST HERE and I will have my computer back! So look out!

Sunshine Buzo said...

I mean I tend to turn my comments into mini-blogs. Sheesh! Had to make that clear!

Christie said...

You're so right, it's nice to know someone is out there reading your blog!
Amen to comments!

Feathering My Nest said...

Debbie, You are so right. I love comments. I do appreciate it when the person writes something nice ~ so far believe it or not every comment has been nice so far...except one. That one sent shivers. It was written by someone I had not heard of and just said, "Interesting...." about my gardening. It was a man. I chose not to go to his webpage, or post his words.

I love your bag. How cool. Talk to you tomorrow. Kathi

Allmykids123 said...

Hey Debbie! Glad you got the purse and I actually like that one better than mine. Mine is a huge, bottomless pit that is constantly full of crud.. old receipts, unwrapped pieces of gum, change, etc. I need to downsize in purses.

I tell everyone about how we "met" in blogland and how cool it is. I am having to limit my blog time because I too, am becoming addicted. Hee hee.

EmBee said...

Well, after that little talkin' to, I figured I'd damn well BETTER leave a comment!

Good for you and here's to building more bloggy friendships!

I followed the trail of crumbs from SITS... And now, I really must tend to at least one of the messes in this house that I haven't touched today due to copious amounts of blogging! :-)

Marie said...

You know, I've "seen" you around and finally clicked on your face (ha ha) to visit your blog. I LOVED this particular post. It's so very, very true. lol I will definitely be back!

mer said...

Excellent post! I am amazed at what a small percentage of my daily traffic translates into actual comments.

Via comments on other blogs, I've found a friend I went to high school with, a friend I went to college with, and I've become friends with a girl who lives across town from me. Blogging makes this world feel very small indeed!

Swirl Girl said...

I am a new blogger, frequent visitor and a commentor galore!

I love that strangers (not that they are strange, er , well, maybe they are) leave comments on my blog.

I always leave comments , and one time I was recieved a comment regarding my inappopriate use of the word 'trolling'. I thought it meant lurking (like searching and reading and not commenting) and was told that it meant one who picks fights on purpose! That is so NOT what I meant to do. I try not to intentionally pick fights, but if do accidentally- then I'll be the one cowering in the corner under my desk.

Shelley said... really is a small world because i almost bid on that Giraffe purse on Ebay the other day!!! (I know...there are several of them.) But how cool is that? Out of the 3000+ purses up for sale on Ebay right now??
Anyway, LOVE your blog...keep it up...I promise to comment!!
In HIS Mighty Grip

Amy said...

As you can see, I love to comment..this is like what? My 5th one today?? Anyway, you are now in my subcriptions on google reader, so I will definitely be back to read more and COMMENT!!