A couple of people have asked me why I don't like the Junie B. Jones books. My daughter was given her first and only Junie book as a Christmas gift several years ago. Within the first few pages of the book, I decided that it was junk and wasn't appropriate. There is a gratuitous use of slang, questionable word choice (IMHO), and other manglings of the English language that I felt were counterproductive in teaching a first grader how to read and write well. I just knew that I would eventually hear the words, "But that's how it's spelled right here in this Junie B. Jones book." As parents, you all know that if teachers and authors say it's so, well, by golly, it's gospel. If I challenge/correct what any of them say, it has to be validated by multiple sources like the dictionary, the FBI, the CIA, the internet, and Daddy.
Here are just a few goodies from the Junie B. Jones book we have. And yes, these are all in ONE book. And, yes, this is all written verbatim.
Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth
"I made a fist at him. "How'd you like me to bash your brains in, you big fat Jim?"
"Only I hate that dumb guy."
"I did a big sigh at her."
"Only that stupid head Jim wouldn't let go of it. And so I had to pinch his arm."
"I do act like a little lady, you dumb bunny Lucille! And don't say that again, or I'll knock you on your can."
"Im going to dress up like a princess," said my best friend Lucille that I hate. "
"only this stupid ant bited me. And so I had to drop a rock on his head."
"And he told us some other stuff that cops do. Like give our dads speeding tickets. And rest drunk guys."
(UMMM, do your even kids know what "drunk" means? Mine don't. And do they need to at this age?)
"Then Mrs. said that maybe some of us might like to dress up like dentists or police officers on Job Day. Yeah, only what if you don't like drunk guys or bloody teeth?" I asked.
In reference to her brother in a chapter titled "Dumb Ollie" : "Darn it, darn it darn, it. 'Cause that dumb old baby takes up all of Mother's time. " That's nice.
That's why Junie isn't welcome in our house. But that's just me.