Blogger police: Come out with your hands up!
Me: Whoa! Who are you and why are you in my blog?
Blogger Police: The blogger police. We got a missing person report. Where've you been?
Me: Sick.
Blogger police: Sick with what?
Me: My son's two day virus from three weeks ago.
Blogger police: His virus was only two days and that was three weeks ago. You've been gone for two weeks.
Me: Yeah, well that's how long I've been sick.
Blogger police: Whatcha been taking for it?
Me: Everything... including cough syrup with codeine I scored from my neighbor.
Blogger police: You mean you shared a prescription drug with someone from the 'hood?"
Me: Oh, did I say that. No I meant I got a prescription from the doctor.
Blogger police: You plan on returning anytime soon?
Me: I guess. It's been so long I forgot I had a blog. Who won the election?
Blogger police: Barack Obama.
Me: Oh yeah, that's right. Wow, that cough syrup sure conjured up some crazy dreams.
Blogger police: Like what?
Me: Well, I dreamt Hillary Clinton was named Secretary of State, Britney Spears was skinny again, gas is down to $1.73 a gallon, the auto industry is about to collapse, and that it was just a few weeks before Christmas. None of that is possible.
Blogger police: Not only possible, it's fo realz.
Me: "Fo realz?" "Fo realz????" Who are you?
Blogger police: OJ Simpson.
Me: OJ Simpson? THE OJ Simpson. Now I know it wasn't "fo realz"...I dreamt you were finally going to jail...
Thank you for the chuckle. I needed that!
ReplyDeletegiggle giggle.
ReplyDeleteYou so crazy!
ReplyDeleteWow- when you think about ...a lot can happen in two weeks!
ReplyDeletelol and in only two weeks! Wow...
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog a couple days ago and love your writing style! Thanks for the smiles! :)
That was HYSTERICAL!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are one funny lady.
Glad your feeling better.
Glad OJ's going to jail too!
Welcome back!
It's because of writing like this that we miss you when you're gone. Hope you're feeling much much better!
ReplyDeleteglad you're back! we've missed you =)
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! I've so missed you!! You are hysterical. Fo realz girl.
ReplyDeleteFo realz that was very clever!
ReplyDeleteYes, yes he is! Welcome back! Do you need a review of how to make a link or anything?
ReplyDeleteYou are hu.larious. Fo shizzle. It has been a wild news season hasn't it!
ReplyDeleteyou are soooooooooo funny!! Thanks!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for that! I'm LOL'ing right now, and may even ROFLMAO in just a sec....
ReplyDeleteLOL
ReplyDeleteMissed you!
*Pinch*
ReplyDeleteGas here is $1.49 and I'm wide awake and praising Jesus!
Glad you're feeling better!
Hee. I hear ya. Let's kidnap Britney and learn her skinny secrets. I have a bad feeling that she's going to say "Strict diet and puke inducing exercise" but you never know--she might have some magic pills.
ReplyDeleteLOL, I must like your blog I think I've read 6 or 7 posts. Thanks
ReplyDeleteYou are cracking me up. Too funny!
ReplyDeleteThat is why we love you....and MISS YOU!! Should we thank you for not spreading the germs?
ReplyDeleteNow isn't that depressing. I for one at least am glad to see that you're back! Hope you've finally shaken that nasty thing!
ReplyDeleteThe codeine makes you extra special funny!
ReplyDeleteSkip the meds, eat dip.
ReplyDeleteglad you are feeling better! Missed you
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny!! Glad your feeling better.
ReplyDeleteBwaahahahahahahaa!!!
ReplyDeletelol! long time no read! i've been kind of mia lately, too! loved your dream :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome back to the land if the living. Hope you are felling better.
ReplyDeleteToo darn funny. HOpe you are completely better :D
ReplyDeleteYou're back! I'm glad you are feeling better!
ReplyDeleteGood to hear from you again. :) You are hilarious as ever! :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you're back AND feeling better. :)
ReplyDeleteEven after being sick - you're still funny! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you are coming out of your long illness.
Ha haaaa!!! Glad you're better. I was worried! Can I have your neighbor's number?
ReplyDeleteTHAT was awesome!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, my, Debbie, I'm glad you are back with us. I'm so sorry you were sick. If you are like me, though, you struggle through an illness like that and on the other side of it there is only one thing you want to know that would make all the pain and suffering worth it: Did I lose any weight?
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are back. I am so sorry you caught my sickness from all across the state. Well, K must have caught it from me first, then passed it onto you...it's the gift that keeps on giving, you know?
ReplyDeleteThis was worth the wait, my friend. Oh, and gas here on the other side of our state? $1.49, baby!!!!
Praise the Lord and hallelujer, justice has finally been served.
ReplyDeleteIckiness is going around everywhere. We've all been plagued....My son sounds like a pack a day smoker. I'm like "Duh, he's only eight, he doesn't smoke! We prefer dipping...."
Are there really bloggy police? Cause if so we are all in trouble!!!
ReplyDeleteI am still laughing you are so great. I do love me some codeine laced cough syrup!!!
And hallelujah OJ is finally where he belongs.
And have you looked at your tree - 14 days my dear, time to get busy!
Thank you so much for the chuckle. I needed that today! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteMissed you. Hope you are feeling much better.
ReplyDeleteAnd we're at the OBX for the weekend, and gas is a buck 49 here! Marvelous, creative post! That codeine did something to sharpen your synapses, huh?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh. Glad to see you feeling better and back to blogging.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are back in "fighting shape!". That post was absolutely hilarious....I guess quite a lot has happened since you have been sick :-)
ReplyDeleteOK, I nearly peed my pants. Have you considered writing for Leno or Letterman?
ReplyDeleteOh Debbie I'm sorry you've been sick so long! It did make you really funny though! :-) Maybe it was the codeine. My mom and I swap that stuff all the time. I LOVE it! Makes me sleep like a baby. When I was pregnant she took my bottle. We had this really funny/sad ceremony because she took my cough syrup with codeine. And wouldn't you know the next week I was sick! A horrible cough and all I could do was drink hot water with honey.
ReplyDeleteHope you're on the mend now!
Got my gas for $1.43 today. $24.98 to fill up my whole van. I was shouting hallelujah in the parking lot :) !
ReplyDeleteIt is funny though, just how much can change in 2 weeks.
Glad you're back!!!...though you've never really "left" my life ;). Glad too that you're feeling back on top!
Add to your dream that Obama's senate seat is being sold to the highest bidder? Maybe we could find it on ebay.
ReplyDeletePO PO PO oj!
ReplyDeleteso, dont you feel so sawry for the poor bastard?
funny thing about Karma..no?
hahahaha, great post! Great Blog!
Lisa
coastal nest
Are you implying there is something wrong with sharing a prescription? ;-) We pass antibiotics around here like a cup of sugar!
ReplyDeleteVery cute post...
Happy to hear that you are feeling better, no fun to be sick and when it drags out...ugh!
ReplyDeleteMakes you love the little germ balls, I mean children, even more.
Hopefully everyone in your house is better and no more sick.
I love that your absence coincided so nicely with mine. It makes catching up sooo much easier. So, thanks!
ReplyDeleteLOL! omg, you are hysterical!! Hope you're feeling better soon!!!
ReplyDeleteWe were about to send out a search party. Thank goodness you've made it through the two week sickness. I'm sorry you were sick for TWO WEEKS, though!! You earned your Codeine, sister. I missed you!
ReplyDelete...And I just noticed that this post was from last Tuesday.
ReplyDelete*she bows her shaking head*
Willie Earl!! Release the hounds again!!
wb as they say in chat! Thanks for all the work you do in taking us to all kinds of awesome place!
ReplyDeleteVery Funny, Thnaks for sharing!!!
ReplyDeleteVery funny! Sounds more like a nightmare!
ReplyDeleteI have put out an APB for you again.
ReplyDeleteToo funny!!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back. You were missed.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you were sick, especially around the holidays, somehow our resistance gets down and it because easier to catch the germs.
The gas here in RI is $1.59 Love to see it keep getting lower.
Sure hated filling the car when it was $4.34
Knockknockknock...hello? Um, Mr. Blog Police, did you accidentally throw Debbie in the slammer with O.J.? You shouldn't have done that. She is really really nice, and O.J.? Not so much. Let her out now, or you will be very sorry! She has a lot of Mother Bear type friends. I'm just saying.
ReplyDeleteHope you had a very Merry Christmas and you're having a Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteLOL... you are tooo funny :-)
ReplyDeleteBut you're MIA again. Mind you, I can't talk, I went MIA as well...
Hope all is well and hurry back, you are missed.
Hope you had a great Chritmas and wishing you a Verry Happy New Year..
Hello lovely lady,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to check and make sure you were around. I say you briefly today...cars passing in the parking lot, and wanted to say hello!
my favorite post in quite some time. OJ Simpson, finally going to jail, 'bout damn time.
ReplyDeleteWe miss you, Debbie!
ReplyDeleteKnock Knock... hello? Um.... Dip lady? Are you there???
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOver a month! Are you still there??
ReplyDeleteHey, I was just over at your other site. . . where you live these days. I think you should add an option to your poll: d. You just come over here to read a little something written by me (Debbie) since nothing's going on over at the other site.
ReplyDeleteI would check that box, I would.
Hi girl! Glad to see that you've rejoined the land of the living!
ReplyDeleteKimba
LMAO...as a fellow...ummm...missing blogger I understand you needed the 3 weeks to recover from your son's 2 days cold. I needed time to recover from the birth of my son...who's going to be 7 months now. Yeah, I guess I better get blogging before the "blog" police finds me huh
ReplyDelete