this is the life

Swimmer's Time Out

2009-02-06T08:15:00.007-05:00

Dear Michael Phelps,

Ya know what? I'm one of the bejillion fans who has followed your swimming career through two Olympics, and I gotta say, I prefer seeing you like this:

rather than this:

That's a difficult picture to look at.

Sigh.

USA swimming did the right thing by putting you in swimmers "time out" for three months. We forgave you for the drunk driving thing, dating an "exotic" dancer, and we will forgive you for this. We respect your talent, your dedication, your discipline and the fact that you have been living under water behind goggles since the tooth fairy paid you your first visit. BUT, you gotta choose wisely who you "hang" with, pal. The blood money the person took for selling this picture will probably be used for next year's tuition. But, it could have cost YOU 10 jillion times that and a visit to the pokey.

I know your judgment was clouded (pun intended) when you did this. But, everyone is a photographer now. And sadly, you will always be a point, shoot, click, and send away from being embarrassed or in jail if you misstep. No it's not fair and not your choice that you cannot indulge in young adult, albeit illegal, indiscretions without intense scrutiny (from Mommy bloggers like me in my jammies behind a laptop) but that's your reality when you are the Tiger Woods of your sport. Speaking of which, you should have a chat with him on managing fame and fortune and hanger's on and everything else that comes with being the best ever in your sport.

You are a great kid, Michael. And although Kellogg's is dumping you, we aren't. I'm glad you got caught in such spectacular fashion. 'Cause I think you get it this time.

"To whom much is given, much is expected." Don't let all the talent and rewards you've been given disappear in a "puff of smoke."

That stuff really stinks anyway.

My American Idol

2009-01-31T16:33:00.004-05:00

I am taking a big risk by posting this today. My 8 year old daughter performed the song "This is Me" from Camp Rock at her school talent show last night. She thinks she stunk up the joint. I'd say she did awesome. I couldn't be prouder that she got up in front of several hundred people and sang her heart out.

(They only had two minutes to perform so they had to cut the song off in the middle of it.)

Let me make this very clear...

2009-01-21T07:47:00.010-05:00

Contrary to some of the comments left on my last post, the historical significance of the Inauguration of our 44th President was not lost on me.

It never was.

And, although I don't need to defend myself, I will.

I watched coverage of the entire Inauguration yesterday with the same sense of joy and optimism that those of you who voted for Obama did. We needed change no matter what party was elected into office. As I said yesterday, I have lived in Northern Virginia for a long time, and I had never seen anything like this before. With tears welling up in my eyes, I had my 8 year old daughter watch Obama take oath and I, in fact, explained to her THE HISTORICAL SIGNIFICANCE of the ascendance of our first black President. We talked about Martin Luther King, Jr's speech and how neat it would have been for him to be alive to see his dream come true. And how, in fact, his dream isn't limited to black people only, but to all minorities. Including women. And yes, sweetie, someday, there will be a woman president. I explained to her that Mommy didn't vote for Obama because we have some fundamental differences of opinion; however, I also explained to her that Barack Obama is an intelligent man of honor and integrity and will probably do a good job. But most importantly, I told her that that we need to pray for him. Because we need him to succeed. He must succeed. Our country and our livelihood are at stake. I watched and listened to every word of his speech, and I thought it was sobering, en pointe, and excellent. He is truly a gifted speaker and made it known to the world, that he is in charge. And he looked the part.

Politics and religion are polarizing subjects, I realize that. But I take chances on my blog because, well, it's my blog, and this is my place for self-expression. I have always played nice with those I don't agree with, and I appreciate comments with differing opinions. There is a nice way of doing that which most of you did. BUT in case YOU were wondering, the snarky comment YOU deleted appeared in my in-box. So yeah, I saw it anyway.

I try to find the humor in EVERYTHING, and if you have read my blog long enough or know me in real life, that's what I do. The tone of my post yesterday is like most of my posts have been about this election...tongue in cheek. I poked fun at the cost of the inauguration without mentioning that 4 years ago, during a much more prosperous time, George Bush received alot of flack for the cost of his party. And it was alot less than $150 million.

So, no, the historical significance wasn't lost on me yesterday as I watched it unfold from the comfort of my warm home

and my own potty.

Peace.

$150,000,000 party

2009-01-20T00:00:00.001-05:00

January 20, 2009 marks the day that all of you who voted for Obama have waited for.

He has promised change....blah blah blah...they all promise that.

He has promised he will make things better....blah blah blah...they all promise that.

He has promised...well, lots of things....but they all do that.

But before he gets started, today you and your tax dollars are having a $150,000,000 party in his honor,

Let me repeat that in case it didn't register: "Today you and your tax dollars are having a $150,000,000 party in his honor." Yes, a party that you probably aren't even attending. Seriously, can't we just get Judge Judy to swear him in at the Oval Office? Followed by a potluck at the White House cafeteria? It would be cheaper. And that money could be put to better use...like helping people who really need it right now...but I digress...

As a 31 year resident of the DC metro area who has lived here for every inuguration since Reagan, I can tell you that we are ready for this spectacle to be over. OVER I tell ya. I have never seen anything like this. EVER. A radio personality that lives in my neighborhood even tried to rent his house for this week on Craigslist. The asking price: $15,000. Hey, he's just trying to earn back his portion of the party bill he's footing. Smart man.

So, for over a month, we have heard every.last.detail of the preparations. And I mean EVERY.LAST.DETAIL. It leads the newscasts, the talk radio shows, and the newspapers.

Roads are closed.

Bridges are closed.

Businesses are closed.

Schools are closed.

And while it's historic and exciting and thrilling and blah blah blah, there is one I thing I'm sure of:

Even at that price tag,

there still won't be enough porta potties.

It was all a dream...or was it?

2008-12-09T17:22:00.003-05:00

Me: Whew...it sure is quiet in here...Hmmm...wonder if I can come out now?

Blogger police: Come out with your hands up!

Me: Whoa! Who are you and why are you in my blog?

Blogger Police: The blogger police. We got a missing person report. Where've you been?

Me: Sick.

Blogger police: Sick with what?

Me: My son's two day virus from three weeks ago.

Blogger police: His virus was only two days and that was three weeks ago. You've been gone for two weeks.

Me: Yeah, well that's how long I've been sick.

Blogger police: Whatcha been taking for it?

Me: Everything... including cough syrup with codeine I scored from my neighbor.

Blogger police: You mean you shared a prescription drug with someone from the 'hood?"

Me: Oh, did I say that. No I meant I got a prescription from the doctor.

Blogger police: You plan on returning anytime soon?

Me: I guess. It's been so long I forgot I had a blog. Who won the election?

Blogger police: Barack Obama.

Me: Oh yeah, that's right. Wow, that cough syrup sure conjured up some crazy dreams.

Blogger police: Like what?

Me: Well, I dreamt Hillary Clinton was named Secretary of State, Britney Spears was skinny again, gas is down to $1.73 a gallon, the auto industry is about to collapse, and that it was just a few weeks before Christmas. None of that is possible.

Blogger police: Not only possible, it's fo realz.

Me: "Fo realz?" "Fo realz????" Who are you?

Blogger police: OJ Simpson.

Me: OJ Simpson? THE OJ Simpson. Now I know it wasn't "fo realz"...I dreamt you were finally going to jail...

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

"Thanksgiving is a time of quiet reflection...an annual reminder that God has, again, been ever so faithful. The solid and simple things of life are brought into clear focus."

--From one of my very favorite evangelical writers and speakers, Chuck Swindoll.

I am unplugging until the kids go back to school next Monday so I can enjoy my very favorite holiday. Have a great Thanksgiving!

MY movie rating system

2008-11-19T11:38:00.004-05:00

I have developed a new movie rating system.

It's brilliant actually.

It shall be based on something very technical, insightful, intelligent, and full proof.

Yes, it shall be based on the number of minutes I sleep while viewing it.

The higher the minutes the worse it is. If I didn't nap at all, it will be called an EYE-OPENER, as in I was able to keep my eyes open the entire time.

Now let's start with an example. If you all recall, I loathed (my exact words)Wall-E. I slept for 30 minutes during that movie. That's about as bad as it can get people. It's hard to sleep sitting up much past 30 minutes. Unofortunately, it has now be resurrected on DVD just in time for the holidays. Oh joy.

RATING: 30 minutes

This past weekend we went to the movies with the kids as we've been anticipating the return of the gang from Madagascar. We have seen the first one ~~a jillion~~ a couple of times. It was "crackalacking" funny. It had memorable moments. It had memorable lines. It had a great story line. It was an EYE-OPENER. However, I am sad to report that the sequel is only average. Both my husband and I napped for about 10 minutes during this one. The premise is still funny and the original cast is back. But I can't remember much of the storyline because it was all over the place. Something about a giraffe having a crush on a hippo and a penguin who falls in love with a bobble head. Yeah. Whatever. It was a disappointment.

RATING: 10 Minutes

A movie we saw this summer that is out on DVD now, is Kung Fu Panda. Sadly, I had alot of trouble keeping my eyes open during this one as well and slumbered for 15 glorious minutes. I remember something about noodles and a panda who is adopted by a ...a...umm, oh geez, I can't remember....

Rating: 15 Minutes

Now for the good stuff. Here is a movie that I would see over and over and over because it is really, really entertaining. The music and dancing are fabulous. The storyline is a little bit mature for an 8 and 6 year old who cannot imagine leaving elementary school let alone graduating from high school as the gang from East High are about to do. But overall, it is wholesome, fun, and hands down the best of the three High School Musical movies. I will be purchasing this for ~~myself~~ Little Red Riding Hood.

Rating: EYE-OPENER

Another movie that I must own for ~~myself~~ is Kitt Kittredge: An American Girl. This movie is excellent. It has a great message, is suspenseful, well written, and well acted. I highly recommend it.

Rating: EYE-OPENER

So, there you have it. My movie rating system. I just can't go wrong with it. Come back next week to see my rating for a little ole vampire movie we've all been anticipating for months.

Care to review any movies you've seen recently?

Pretenders

2008-11-17T00:00:00.001-05:00

Pretenders bug me.

Pretentious people bug me even more.

But, people who pretend to be pretentious just make me laugh.

So I'm at the optometrist having Little Red Riding Hood's eyes examined, and the I'm-not-an-optometrist-but-I-want-to-be-one-someday lady who helped LRRH pick out glasses admires my purse, squealing (seriously squealing):

"OOOHHHH, I love your purse, is that Dolce & Gabbana????"

To which I reply in my library voice, "No, it's Ebay."

Deflated and indigant, her reply was, "OH. I don't do Ebay."

To which I reply, "Oh honey, that's too bad. Because you just thought my $25 purse was the $395 one from Dooney & Bourke not Dolce & Gabbana.

Well, I didn't really say that. I bit my tongue, smiled, and said nothing.

It was best that way.

But believe me I thought it.

Because, if you're gonna pretend to be prententious, at least get your designers straight.

$25 from Ebay

$395 from Dooney & Bourke

Meet My Pet...His Name is Peeve

2008-11-12T11:33:00.004-05:00

Please don't collapse from shock that I am posting three days in a row.

I can't believe it myself.

But, I didn't want to give "Anonny" any more air time on MY blog.

So in my last post, I referenced two of my blogging pet peeves. I thought it would be fun to elaborate and add a couple more.

Number 1. Listen up, if you have Word Verification, TAKE.IT.OFF.NOW. You won't get spammed. I promise. I have received one spam in almost two years. Big deal. It takes the fun out of leaving a comment when you have to type "xyxoodoasmnhwjixijlsihatewordverification" 10 times because the "m" is actually two "n's" and the "w" looks like two "v's." OFF.NOW. Right after you read this.

Number 2: Comment moderation is nothing but comment jail. TAKE.IT.OFF.NOW. When I first started blogging and didn't know there was such a thing, I left a comment on someone's blog, and it kept disappearing after I hit publish. After the fifth, yes, the fifth try, I realized that my comment was waiting for the blogger police to release the handcuffs and set it free . All five comments subsequently showed up in the comment section. Same thoughts. Different wording on each. Yeah, not one of my finer moments. Again, I have been blogging for almost two years, and yesterday was my first ANONYMOUS comment that was unpleasant. And I left it there. For "Anonny" to look like the stinker he/she is.

Number 3: Lots of content that cause the page to load slowly. Please get out your dustpans and tidy up your sidebar. If not, I will come do it for you.

Number 4: Blogger itself is not a good word processor. As a matter of fact, it sucks as a word processor. And don't get me started on the comments I type that I lose once I hit publish. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that fall into oblivion....not comment jail...into oblivion. And it's never the quick ones that disappear. It's the long witty thoughtful ones that disappear causing me to leave short and less witty ones because I didn't remember what I wrote the first time. ARRGGGH. I just don't understand why they don't publish sometimes. Wait, is that Blogger or Internet Explorer's fault? I don't know whose fault it is, but it bugs me. Alot.

Number 5: Please, please, please, I beg of you, if you mean "lose," don't spell it as "loose." That drives me bonkers. Seriously bonkers. Spell check will check for spelling not context. That is like fingernails going down the chalkboard or the squeak of styrofoam for me.

Things I didn't mention that can be construed as pet peeves are:

Advertisements on blogs. I go back and forth on this one. I haven't put them on either of my blogs because it feels like I am inviting you over for a diet coke with a fresh lemon wedge and pimping you out in the process. I like the feeling of inviting you in because you are my "friend," and I enjoy your company. Not because you can give me something. Like cash. Cash that could pay for a MacBook. Or a new chair. Or a new camera....Well, maybe ads aren't such bad idea. My husband constantly teases me about revving up the ad engine so he can retire. Oh honey, we have a better chance of earning a living with you on the golf tour than depending on my blog to support us. I have a loyal audience, but it ain't that big. Now you just keep on, keepin' on... at that office of yours.

Music on blogs. I used to have music on my blog, but then I realized I was turning the volume off when I was on my own blog. Music I liked. Music I picked. Then I realized that you may not like my music, and I may not like your music. So I dumped it and turned the volume off. I don't care if you have music or not because I don't know if you have music or not. However, I will tell you that after my kids play a round of Webkins and the volume is high, I know who has music and who doesn't...yeeeeyowch that comes in loud and clear. And to those who won't read a blog because they have music, I say turn.down.the.volume. It's that easy.

Sooooo...

What are your blogging pet peeves? And for those of you with ads, do you make money? Or do you earn a cup of coffee at Starbucks once a month?

Just curious.

Dear Anonymous,

2008-11-11T07:54:00.003-05:00

I have two pet peeves in blogging.

Word verification and people who leave mean spirited ANONYMOUS comments.

Even though you said you weren't coming back to my blog ever again, I know you'll probably come back today to see what kind of reaction you got from me after leaving your "comment love" in my last post.

Congratulations.

You got me.

It's too bad you didn't get it.

Oka Bama

2008-11-10T01:00:00.004-05:00

Dear President-elect Obama or Oka Bama as my son calls you,

I knew you were going to win.

You know why?

You won the mock elections in all our neighboring schools, elementary through high school, prior to November 4. In Virginia. A state that hasn't voted a Democrat into the White House in 44 years. In a county that typically votes red.

Yup. I knew it.

So...since the ~~parents~~ kids had spoken, I knew it was a done deal.

Here's the irony, my kindergartner voted for McCain, but he was dancing the jig when he found out you, Mr. Oka Bama had won. Because he just wants to say Oka Bama, for the next 4 years. It's kind of like having a favorite football team because you like their helmets.

So Senator Obama, Mr. Obama, Mr. Oka Bama, President-elect Obama, oh heck, can I just call you Barack? It certainly has been a historic week for you and your family and this country. I have to say it is kind of exciting to see what kind of changes you're going to make. As a part of the Evangelical Christian vote, I'm not gonna go all Chicken Little on you now that the Republicans have lost ~~control of everything.~~ I'll hop on board the I-have-to-support-you-because-I'm-an-American too-and-thankfully-you-aren't-Hillary-Clinton-bandwagon, because that's the right thing to do. Now don't get all excited. You know I didn't vote for you. You are way too liberal for me. But you're a'ight as a person. I like you. Yet, I'm a little worried about you keeping all those promises you made because I still don't think you said HOW you're going to keep all those promises you made. And since we're being honest here, I just gotta tell ya, I don't like your running mate much, but since you are young and healthy, I don't think we need to worry about saying the words President...choke choke...Biden anytime soon. Unless of course, you don't quit smoking.

Uh yeah, about that.

Have you quit yet? Because if not, you have to quit that stinky stanky habit.

Seriously.

Is that why Michelle gives you fist pumps instead of kisses?

And really, don't you think you're smoking is gonna leave a funk in the White House and Air Force One? Do your girls know about your nasty habit? And don't even start with me....It's nothing like my diet coke with a fresh lemon wedge addiction. I can stop that anytime. Yup sure can.

Excuse me while I take a sip.

About your girls. They really are cutie patooties. The Washington Post is reporting that all the hoity toity schools in the area are begging you to enroll your kids in their school. Can I ask you something? Do you write that check for tuition yourself? Or do I buy that $20,000 a year education at Sidwell Friends or St.Albans or the Maret School? Just curious.

Back to the schools. You really don't need to put the girls in a private school. I know of a highly rated PUBLIC school about 25 miles west of the White House that would love to edumakate your girls. We have top notch security here, too. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I'm top security dawg on Friday afternoons. Yeah, I'm sitting in the lobby of my kids' school buzzing people in as we speak. (Well, I was when I first started this post. ) I only let anyone in that has ID...if it says ID, I let 'em in. No one gets past me. No sirree. So I can totally handle your gum-shoe security detail.

And while you are running the biggest, wealthiest, and most blessed nation in the free world, I can hang with Michelle. We can talk about being Mom's in our mid-forties with elementary age kids. We can sip wine, talk "Twilight" and "The Office," hang out on the soccer field with our girls. Do your girls play soccer? Oh they will once they move here. It's a requirement. I'll invite all the other ladies in the 'hood that read my blog, and we can introduce Michelle to the world of Mommy blogging. We'll just set up laptops in my house, have a blogfest, organize PTO fundraisers, find a breeder for the First Puppy you've promised your daughters, design an exit strategy for the troops in Iraq and get Wall Street back on track. Us mommies are good at multi-taking, ya know. Michelle could also join us in Bunco once a month. She just needs a little bit of cash for that. Speaking of which, do the President and First Lady carry cash? Because I really can't see you all whipping out dollar bills at the 7-11 for Big Gulps, slurpees and cheese doodles en route to anywhere. And do you have a credit card? It's Amex isn't it? When does the President pull out the AMEX? Do you ever have to pay for anything? Do you have direct deposit? Do you or your wife shop online? How does that work when you type in 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue on the order form? And when was the last time you drove a car? I'll bet you zip around in a Range Rover dontcha? If you're ever out in the Virginia suburbs, honk and wave....and watch the speed limit.

As you see, I have alot of questions, Mr. Obama. None of which pertain to anything important, but I'd love to sit down and chat with you about more unimportant things. We'll leave the important stuff to another day.

In light of that, I'll have my peeps get in touch with your peeps. Wait, I don't have peeps. Oh well.

Regards,

Debbie

Hey bloggy friends...what would you ask President-elect Obama if you could?

I've discovered......

2008-10-30T14:10:00.001-04:00

I've discovered that it has been 10 days since I last posted.

I've discovered that opening my reader after not opening my reader for two weeks is.not.a.good.thing.

I've discovered that the longer I let it go, the more stressed I became for not posting or reading.

I've discovered that getting stressed about blogging is just sick sick sick.

I've discovered that it is alot harder to admit that I'm, ya know, 45.

But, he will be 46 next week. Love ya, sweetie!

I've discovered that my brother-in-law who reads daily during lunch doesn't understand why I can't post daily.

I've discovered that he reads a couple of your blogs as well and doesn't understand why you all can't post daily either.

I've discovered that I like going to bed at 10:30 and waking up fresh and rested for the day.

I've discovered that I have a really long to-do list.

I've discovered that I am so sick of this election and the candidates and the mudslinging and the voters thinking THEIR candidate is the one to put us on the right track. Because folks, the only one that can put us on the right track is the one that is on his knees daily seeking guidance from the creator of this world. And near as I can tell.....well, I'm just not gonna go there.....

I've discovered that I am not a Sarah Palin fan. Or is it Tina Fey? I'm still confused. She is nice and smart and pretty. But at the end of the day, she has a child with down's syndrome that needs her so much more than we do. I have seen what my friends with DS babies go through. You can't turn that over to the White House nanny. Oh there isn't one? You know it's coming.

I've discovered that having a 6 bin sorting system for laundry in my closet has revolutionized my life.

I've discovered that if you just take one of these baskets down every day of the week, that you can in fact keep up with your laundry.

I've discovered that I'm nuts. But you already knew that.

I've discovered that my husband gave me the okay to buy new carpet for the house 6 months ago, and I'm still twiddling my thumbs.

I've discovered that Christmas is two months away, and I'm still stuck in August.

I've discovered that I really don't like cold weather.

I've discovered that an 82 year old college head football coach can still get it done and just might be in the middle of an extraordinary season that could finish-out with a story book ending to an exemplary coaching career done the right way with integrity and honor.

I've discovered that my dad still can and enjoys pushing my buttons. Did I mention my Dad looks exactly like Joe Paterno...mannerisms and all.

I've discovered that my daughter and are too much alike, and I need to keep my eyes wide open to that knowledge as a preemptive strike for the teen years and the inevitable clashes.

I've discovered that these little glasses make it a whole lot easier to read.

I've discovered you can buy them in the dollar spot at Target. So I bought three pair...red, tortoise with rhinestones, and these giraffey looking ones.

I've discovered that I HATE every recipe and meal I've cooked for the last three years, because those are the only recipes and meals I have cooked for the last three years.

I've discovered that I am really sick of turkey and/or tuna sandwiches for lunch.

I've discovered this Webkin in very odd spots around the house after my son leaves for school. He is the only dog we will ever have. He isn't alive, but he annoys me as much as real dogs. And please don't tell me how nice YOUR dog is. They all lick, sniff and stink. End of story.

I've discovered that a whole lot of people land on my blog using the key words "boobie milk" because of this post .

I've discovered that there is a lot more time to blog during the summer.

I've discovered that life is really busy right now.

I've discovered that I can't post daily because it still takes me too long to post.

I've discovered that I have been sitting here working on this for over two hours.

I've discovered I need to go potty.

Right now.

Cheating Again

2008-10-20T22:36:00.003-04:00

Ok...I know you all are as sick of looking at my right eye as I am, so I thought I would put up a quick post of something I've seen floating around the blogosphere. I took this 4 question test which supposedly determines what type of blogger I am. I'll let you decide if it is accurate or not because apparently I am:

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger.

You have a heart of gold and are likely to blog for a cause.

You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you!

A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Okay, let's report in everyone. What type of blogger are you according to this very scientific test?

Randomness

2008-10-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

I am really, really horrible about following through on these meme things that travel through the blogosphere . However, I have been tagged 3 times recently for the same meme that requires you to reveal 6 random things about yourself. Once I got the third one, I decided, ah what the heck. It'll be a relatively easy post as it is one that won't require me to spend an hour or more typing it. (Or at least it shouldn't.) Because we all know that I am freak that takes forever to write posts.

Oh wait, I need to stop and go watch "The Office." I'll be right back.

Okay, I'm back. Let's recap tonight's episode of "The Office" shall we. Dwight gave birth to a watermelon. Michael threw a baby shower for himself. And sadly, Jim and Pam didn't say "I love you" to each other at the end of their goodnight call. Sigh. Trouble's a brewin.

Now, where were we. Oh yeah, random things about me.

Alas Amy Kay , Julie, and Karen , I have procrastinated long enough. As you requested, here are six random things about me:

Here goes:

1. I wear a size 7 shoe. BUT, I wore a size 6 pre-kids. My girly girl doc said she went up TWO sizes after kids. That whole phenomena baffles me. Did that happen to any of you?

2.I am a die hard...I mean die-hard, Penn State football fan. I schedule my Saturdays around watching PSU play, because THAT is appointment TV for me. And, of course, I watch all the reporting on ESPN afterwards.

3.This is my right eye. Wow. The ends of my hair are really light right now and I look kind of blotchy...oh well. Hey, it doesn't get any more random than this peeps.

4. I wore braces for 7 years. YES, SEVEN, S-E-V-E-N years. I got them on when I was 13 and had them removed when I was 20. Do you know how many rubber bands I went through? Sheesh. I hated those things.

5. This is my 495th post. Yup only 5 more till I hit 500! Don't expect a big party and gifts. We have established how much I hate holding contests.

6A. I was born on October 17, 1963.

6B. Today, I am turning for...for...for...ugh, I can't get the word out...Connie, I need help,...ffffff-forty-five.

There I said it. Today I turn 45.

Woo hoo. Blah...blah...blah..boo hoo hoo hoo....

Now all of you are tagged. Go back to your blogs and scribble out your randomness for all of us to see.

Meanwhile, I am going to have lunch with the girls.

Pick Up Lines

2008-10-15T22:18:00.004-04:00

So Little Red Riding Hood comes home from school a couple of weeks ago and tells me that one of the little boys in her class always turns red when he talks to her. She then says, "Mom, I just don't understand it."

I do. You do. My husband and I are glad she doesn't. Yet.

So a couple of days ago, we were talking about school, and I asked if this little boy had been talking to her lately.

She said "Yeah, today he told me he loved my cursive." Trying not to bust out laughing I asked her, "He told you he "loved" as in "l-o-v-e-d" your cursive?" LRRH replied, "Yup."

He...

LOVES...

her...

cursive....

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

So there you have it people...

Third grade pick up lines.

Brilliant.

Note to V: It wasn't the Big Bad Wolf. The boyz in the hood are like her brothers.

How much do you blog daily?

2008-10-12T18:33:00.006-04:00

I am very curious about how much time other people spend blogging, either reading them or keeping their own. Since I don't think people will answer honestly in the comment section, I set up the poll in my sidebar.

Will you play, purdy please?

All you lurkers can play too because I know you're there. And I love ya;)

Oh yeah. I'm going there.

2008-10-08T08:27:00.005-04:00

I've decided that I, too, can run for President.

Yup.

All I have to do is say, "I want change. I want the troops out of Iraq. I want to get Bin Laden. I'm going to cut taxes. I'm going to fix the economy. I'm going to fix health care."

And the beauty of it is, that I don't have to tell you HOW I'm going to do it.

Because I don't really know how to.

And near as I can tell,

neither do our current candidates.

Sigh.

However, I do have a couple of things I need to say to them.

Mr. Obama: You're a nice guy, charismatic, different, and not Hillary Clinton. But you are so far left of me on so many issues that, I just can't.

Mr. Biden: Are you really running for VEEP? Really? Hmmm. What was that you said about Obama not being ready to run this country? And even after that, they STILL picked you. Wow. What changed your mind? Oh that's right, they PICKED you.

Mr. McCain: Umm. Based on my political leanings, I should vote for you. But I set out in a cold rain with an infant 8 years ago to vote AGAINST you in the Virginia primary leading up to the 2000 election. I'm not convinced. Now what?

Mrs. Palin: Are you really Tina Fey? Because I gotta tell you that I am getting confused these days on who is who and that is a concern. Will Tina be in the White House playing you? And as much as I admire you, your pregnant teen daughter and infant child with Downs Syndrome need you more than we do right now.

What does all this mean for me?

I don't know.

But right now, I think I'm voting for her instead.

Backpack Armor

2008-10-06T00:50:00.004-04:00

As a follow up to my last post, I have learned that the situation in which my daughter learned such a lovely new word was not in fact at school. It was in a situation outside of school with some neighborhood kids. That whole situation segues nicely with what I am about to discuss....

Last summer when my kids were at Vacation Bible School, my daughter came home and asked me if the schools in Virginia were among the worst in the country. I about choked. I asked her why she would ask that. She told me that one of the little girls in her VBS class mentioned that she was being homeschooled because her Dad said that Virginia was among the worst schools in the country. SIGH... Oh that SIGH wasn't loud enough for you...let me SIGH a little LOUDER. My reply, "No sweetie, you are fortunate to live in a part of the country and in a part of the state with some of the TOP public schools in the nation." Umm. Mister, thanks for nothing. And you shouldn't tell your kids fibs like that.

Here's a newsflash folks. I am a born again Christian, and, gasp, I don't homeschool. And I don't intend to. Ever.

Why?

Because that isn't where the Lord wants my kids.

And He has made that abundantly clear to us. What about private school? Nope. We've paid money and enrolled them them in a private a Christian school before only to have Him slam that door on us making it clear that HE wants my kids right here. Right now. Where they are. In our local PUBLIC elementary school.

I have never, ever been led to homeschool. I am fascinated with those of you who do, and I applaud you for heeding the call to do it. Your curriculum is rich and interesting and you don't have to deal with all the admin/behavior issues of a class with 25 differing personalities and backgrounds. And, most importantly, you are doing what is right for YOU and YOUR family. But as a friend of mine from church who lives in my neighborhood and actually does homeschool has reminded me over the years, WE CAN'T TAKE ALL THE LIGHT OUT OF THE SCHOOLS, and she is right. My kids are a light, and my daughter is sensitive to the fact that not everyone believes the same things we do. Even at a young age, it saddens her sometimes that not everyone knows Jesus in a real and personal way...including members of our own family. She gets it. She is 8, and she gets it. That is why HE wants HER in the public school. And there is one thing I am sure of, she will be used in a mighty way one day to witness to her friends.

So what do I do to protect them from a world that celebrates Halloween like a national holiday but doesn't allow us to acknowlege Christmas in our public schools?

We pray every.single.day.before they leave the house for school. We pray together as a family for a veil of protection over them, the school, and the teachers. We pray that He will roam the hallways even though He's technically not allowed to. (Ha! He is God. He's roaming those hallways even though the government says He can't.) We give thanks for the wonderful teachers we have and their willingness to not only work with these kids but with the parents around here who are highly educated and expect alot. We pray that the kids' eyes and ears will be closed to the things He doesn't want them to hear and opened to the things He does want them to hear (I guess I better start praying over play dates as well, as a result of , ahem, last week's little situation) And you know what? The Lord honors those prayers.

You know what else we do? We put Jesus in their backpacks.

Yup.

Both my kids went to a Christian pre-school where one of the songs they sang everyday was "Rise and Shine and Give God the Glory Glory. Rise and shine..." In the transition to public school kindergarten my son came home singing, "Rise and Shine, and say good morning to my friends" or something along those lines and didn't understand why the words had changed. I explained to him that you aren't allowed to use the words "God" and "Jesus" at school.

"But why, Mommy?"

Sigh.

"It's hard to explain, Buddy, but you know what, you can take Jesus with you to school anyway."

"How, Mommy?"

"Let's just put Him in your backpack. " And without blinking an eye, we pretended we were putting Jesus in his backpack.

The next day, I heard him packing his snack bag and folder in his backpack. And the last thing he said was, "OK, Jesus, it's time for you to get in there."

My heart just melted.

Oh how I want to keep them in a bubble forever. But alas I can't. So all I can do is give them the armor....

11Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. Ephesisans 6:11

and leave the rest to Him.

I don't know where you are spiritually, but pray over your kids. Everyday. You'll see a difference in your life and theirs.

Note: Please know that this post isn't meant as an indictment on homeschooling. No way, no how. My point is that all of us need to do what is right for our own families, but most importantly, we need to be praying over our kids no matter what we do.

Those *%^$^$^ Boys

2008-10-01T21:10:00.005-04:00

Little Red Riding Hood: Dad, what does F&CK mean? (uh yeah, that "F" word)

The Man: Excuse me, what did you say?

LRRH: What does F%CK mean?

The Man: Where did you hear that?

LRRH: The boys at school were talking about it being on a wall somewhere.

The Man: Well, it's a very bad word.

LRRH: Why?

The Man: It just is. Do you hear Mom and Dad ever say it?

LRRH: No.

The Man: That's because it's a very very bad word.

LRRH: Oh. I promise I won't ever say it.

End of conversation.

Third Grade, people. She learned the "F" word in Third friggin' grade. I was in high school when I first heard that word. Sigh.

The damage is done, and my sweet baby girl's ears will never be the same again.

As a result, I'll never be the same again.

And the Winner is.....

2008-09-29T14:03:00.003-04:00

Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers:

9
Timestamp: 2008-09-29 18:02:04 UTC

On thank goodness it was a low number. That means I didn't have to count very far down the comment list. Counting and scrolling and scrolling and counting makes my head hurt. And I'm always afraid I'm gonna mess it all up. I told ya I hate these contests.

Oh, oh yeah, who is number NINE???

Drum roll please.....

Mandy @ Hipp is My Middle Name

Come on down you have just won your very own copies of the first two books in the Twilight series! Let me get my kids allowance money together so I can trot off to the UPS store and ship these books to ya.

And FYI, about my last post, yeah, ummm, my battery died fifteen minutes after I published it. So I didn't get much guilt free blogging done. I had to read the Washington Post and get more depressed about that stinkin' financial bailout that is gonna cost you and I an arm and a leg. Note to all you people that bought more house that you could afford and to the predatory lenders, and yes I call it predatory when you know people are living on the edge, that allowed it to happen, you, you, you , you all should be ashamed of yourselves. Makes me so friggin' mad.

Enough ranting.

Congratulations, Mandy! I'll be in touch.

Nice segue huh?

On a totally unrelated subject, PENN STATE ROCKS!!!! NUMBER 6 IN THE POLLS. Thank you USC, Georgia, Florida, and Wisconsin. You just let us in the door to contend for it all.

Guilt Free Blogging

2008-09-26T12:20:00.003-04:00

Pssst....Listen, I have discovered the secret to guilt free blogging.

Shhh. Keep it down ladies.

I have to whisper.

Why? Because I am in the lobby of my kids' school

.... blogging

...and volunteering.

Oh yes I am.

Volunteering while blogging equals guilt free blogging.

How'd I work that out you ask?

Well, many of you know I live in Virginia, and after the VA Tech shootings, our county decided they would "protect" (hahahahahha teeee heeheehee, yeah right) the kids from such violence by installing a security type doorbell/camera outside the elementary schools. When you visit the school for any reason, you press the button and then present identification. Someone then buzzes you in. It's been a pain in the tooty tot for the school office staff because they contantly get interrupted to manage this. So I volunteered to come in on Friday afternoons for three hours to give them a reprieve. Yeah, so basically, if someone has an axe to grind with the school, I am the first one the're gonna take out. The staff and principal have promised me many gifts...diamond studded bookmarks, books to read with the diamond studded bookmarks, flowers, chocolate...etc. What they don't know is that they are doing me a favor by allowing me to read or "work" guilt free. Shh. Don't tell them, I may need to call in a favor sometime.

So here I am, buzzing people in, pinky waving the kids I know as they walk by...oh wait there's Hunka Hunka wearing a hard hat and a vest. "Hi Mom, I'm the messenger today. I'm taking the "tendence" folder to the office." "That's great buddy. See you later."

Seriously here comes my daughter for lunch. Lemme just stop and pinky wave. Oh wow, I think she gave me a wave or was she swatting me away?

Yeeaaah, "This is the Life." I've got my Perrier, my laptop, and three hours of guilt free blogging. The only thing I'm worried about is my laptop battery staying juiced enough for me to finish. If it doesn' t, this post will end in mid

Blog Cheating...Again

2008-09-24T08:31:00.002-04:00

I've been cheating lately.

Cheating when I blog.

Cheating by asking YOU all questions instead of sitting down to take the time to compose something of substance.

I have three great posts written in my head. They have been written in my head for weeks now. But, it takes me sooooooo long to compose my posts that I just haven't been able to sit down and write them without feeling guilty about not tending to other things. And, since I am only blogging in the evenings these days, it's hard to keep up with all my blogging duties, write alot, and get to bed before midnight.

So today, I am cheating again. Cheating because it is 8:31 in the morning, and I am quickly posting this before I get sucked into it for the next hour or so. And cheating because I am going to ask you all another question. I was curious how long it takes YOU to write a post. Posts like should take me fifteen minutes. It won't. I guarantee it. Most of my posts take a minimum, yes, a minimum of an hour and most take up to two hours. I write, edit, re-write, edit...blah blah blah. That's why I can't post everyday. Between managing Blog Around the World (which I thoroughly enjoy doing), reading all your great blogs (which again, I am woefully behind on doing), and writing posts here, I could be parked in my office chair, behind my laptop twelve hours a day watching my butt get bigger. Yeah, that's a problem. I seriously started back on the treadmill this week just in case I might be going on a trip somewhere in the near future. I don't know where. Someplace.

We've established that I am freak who likes to iron, but am I the only freak that takes that much time to compose a post? And if you don't have a blog, what's stopping you?

Just curious.

PS...It is now 9:02 am....which means it took me 31 minutes to type this post. I rest my case.

Edward and Bella

2008-09-21T22:35:00.001-04:00

I knew that would grab your attention. Now don't faint ladies. But, I HAVE to give these away.

Gasp! Why am I getting rid of these you ask? Well, because I have two sets of them. I read Twilight in paperback and then ordered the whole set in hardcover for myself. I planned on sending my copy of Twilight and a new copy of New Moon to my friend Julie in Hungary who is dying to know what the craze is all about. The second book New Moon, arrived on my doorstep Friday. Yes, just as Julie was being announced the winner of a contest Darcy was having. The prize? Yup, the. same. two. books. Dagnabit. She broke the news to me Saturday morning. I'm not bitter. No. Not at all. Her suggestion: "You should have a give-a-way." Yeah, that's a great idea. Except I hate contests. The pressure. What if someone wants to audit the results if let's say one of my neighbors wins so that all I have to do is walk the books down the street instead of spending my daughter's allowance to ship them somewhere else in the world? Not that that would happen or anything. Nope.

Ummm, I need to interrupt this broadcast to comment on the Emmy's for a minute. Does anyone else besides me think Oprah looks, ya know, a little plump again? Not that there is anything wrong with that...seeing as I can't fit into any of my jeans right now. Sigh. And I am blaming all of you.

Back to my story..er...contest...

Now because these books really are ALL that, and you all continue to come back and read my drivel, I want to give them to someone who hasn't experienced the phenomenon that is Twilight. I promise that you too will fall in love with Edward, Bella and Stephanie Meyer (the author.)

Emmy update: Does anyone else think Kathy Griffin is like fingernails on a chalk board? And my word, did she have some "work" done?

So I know you are wondering what you have to do to win these treasures. Nothing. Well except leave a comment here and tell me your favorite TV show right now. I only watch two shows on TV, "The Amazing Race" and "The Office" which is my hands down favorite show ever. I can't wait for Thursday! Why do I want to know your favorite TV show? I don't know. It's just another one of my dumb questions that I like to ask.

Another Emmy interruption. Alec Baldwin??? Alec Freakin Baldwin beat out Steve Carell for Best Actor? Are you kidding me? It's rigged. I want a recount.

That's it gang. So do you want to know what the Twilight phenomenon is all about? Then let me make your dream come true...blah...blah...blah...

Oh yeah, polls close at midnight EDT Sunday, September 28. I will pick a winner on Monday, September 29, 2008.

Again, in full disclosure, the Twilight book is used (by me). But New Moon is brand spanking new.

Over and out.....

Detour

2008-09-19T08:40:00.002-04:00

I don't know how many of my readers here read my other blog, Blog Around the World, but on Friday's I have a guest blogger. They are usually bloggers that I enjoy and want to share with everyone else. Today is one of my very favorites, Susan from Short on Words . She is a spectacularly gifted photographer. Please click here, to see what I'm talking about. You won't be disappointed.

Psst....

2008-09-18T11:24:00.003-04:00

I have a personal question for you....

This is a good one....

It really helps me visualize you all even more....

Okay....

Here goes....

Like all my dot dot dots.... or ellipses or eclipses or whatever you call them....

Am I bugging you with them............

I know it bugs my real life friend Lauren....this is for her......since I know she is reading.....Oh yes Lauren, I remember....Love ya ;)

Uh Debbie, can you get on with it...please....

Oh the question, right....

Ummmm....

How Tall are you?

I'll go first.....

Oh that's nice

2008-09-16T23:41:00.005-04:00

Those are the only words that came to my mind Monday during an exchange I had with a teacher at my kids' school.

So, Monday morningish, I went up to school to do some copying for Little Red Riding Hood's teacher. While I was at the copy machine, a teacher I didn't recognize, a NEW teacher I gathered, walked up. Being the ever obedient rule follower that I am (sign somewhere that says teachers have copy machine right of way), I finished what I was doing to let her "cut" in front of me. Not a problem. As I was gathering my things she says,

and I quote,

"Oh Mondays (loud sigh). Kids don't want to be here. And the teachers don't want to be here either."

Oh yes she did.

We are two weeks into the school year, peeps, and she was already complaining. And she's friggin NEW!

Like I said, all I could think of was "Oh that's nice, and my kids DO want to be here thankyouverymuch." Can I add "wench" to that? No? Dagnabit.

Here's the thing. She had no idea who I was. Meaning, I could have been the parent of one of her students. I was stunned. I just smiled and didn't say a word. What could I say, "Yeah, I'm so glad you are here edumakating these kids with that crappy attitude, (I'm sorry. I hate that word, but it is so fitting for this situation.) but lady you just gave me a great blog post."

Now that I'm "Monday morning quarterbacking," I can think of lots of things to say,

but I'd like to say it to the Principal.

Oh, I wouldn't. I couldn't. I won't. I'm just venting.

But still.

My Secret

2008-09-15T10:09:00.001-04:00

Kat at Sunshine and Lemonade has revealed a big secret about herself today. She has revealed her political leanings. Gasp! She thought that we wouldn't be friends anymore once I read it. Au contraire. I heart Kat. My political leanings aren't a big secret if you've hung out with me long enough. But I am not here to discuss that. I am here to discuss this :

and what I'm going to do with it this week. Because my secret, is that I decorate. And I decorate for other people. Gasp again. I am not a professional, and I don't have any experience other than helping friends and family ...and maybe, perhaps I have a little bit of vision of how things should/could look. I've even helped a couple of people I don't know who have been referred by other friends. Crazy. Scary. I won't let people pay me because I don't have any edumakation in it. I just enjoy the creativity and helping them. Although...I do have a Kirkland's gift card sitting staring me in the face right now from a friend who felt compelled to "compensate" me after I helped rearrange furniture in her basement. I have had a couple of friends and my Mom ask why I don't talk about decorating on my blog. Well, because that isn't what I came here to talk about, and most importantly, I just suck at taking pictures. It's the truth. And without good pictures, it just never looks as good as it does in real life.

So why talk about it now? Because I need some motivation to get some things done. I still haven't re-done my powder room that I've had the paint and accessories for, for months, and I still haven't bought the carpet for my upstairs that I complained about not doing months ago, too. And I still haven't painted the kitchen table or the living room coffee table....ahhh the list goes on. So who do I go to for accountability? My laptop friends of course! Now that I am refreshed from my "blog- cation," I am going to attempt to work on these projects as mojo for my blog posts. It's the old killing two birds with one stone...blah blah blah...However, I might need a better camera. Hmmm...my birthday is coming up....or maybe I should just learn how to use the one I have. Oh I can see it now, The Man is squirming in his office reading this and shaking his head mumbling "Does it ever end?" And my answer is NOPE. Never.

So this week I am off to help my friend Jennnifer (who doesn't have a blog or I 'd link her) pick paint for her kitchen walls and island and cabinets. And no, Jennifer, you don't need to give me a gift card, or money or anything. A Diet Coke with a fresh lemon wedge will do just fine.

Do you have any interesting secrets you'd like to share?

She's alive!

2008-09-13T13:32:00.009-04:00

This is Debbie, and I approve this message.

This is Debbie's family. She's not dead. She's not sick. She's alive. And well. She's just been busy being a Mom and doing some big project for the school PTO that took alot of time, not to mention room on our dining room table, paper, staples, envelopes, stickies, and whatnot. We don't know exactly why she has abandoned you all this week. We thought it was weird that she didn't slip behind her laptop even once this week when everyone was asleep. It was also kind of strange that she went to bed before eleven everynight which doesn't happen when she is up doing her "clickety click reading." Everyone thinks she is bogged down and spending hours on BATW. She's not. She's barely been on the computer all week. BATW only takes half an hour every evening to post for the next day. She links new bloggers on weekends. She lines up guest bloggers on Wednesdays. It has become manageable. So why the absence? She's not sure. She was about to pull the plug on all of it. But "The Man" talked her out of it. She likes it too much and besides she talks about you all like you are her "real" friends. Kind of weird when you haven't ever heard each other's voices. Well, except for Darcy. They've talked on the phone.

So will Debbie be back this week?

Yeah.

She's not going anywhere.

And she owes you all BIG TIME.

With what, we don't know.

And like she said, she ~~wrote~~ approved this message.

Newsflash. There are 8 of Me!

2008-09-05T11:19:00.002-04:00

If you've been hanging around me for awhile, you know I've lamented that my first name, Debbie, is on it's way to The Name Cemetery. Yup it's right up there with Gladys, Ethel, Mildred, Hortense and YourGrandmother's Name. Oh don't laugh. You know it is. How many people do you know that have named their kids, Debbie, Deborah, Deb anymore? Huh? Zero. Told ya.

For many years, I thought I was the only one to have a birthday on October 17. Alas, I now know, on last count, about 20 people who share my birthday, including Evel Kneival, (well I don't know him personally may he rest in peace. He is dead right?) and two others, that I went to college with, born the exact day and year. Boo Hoo. I thought I was different. I'm not. So I rested in knowing that my first name and maiden last name are probably so unique that I was probably the only one. I now know that to be true. (How? I'll tell ya in a minute.) But when I got married, I discovered that, gasp, there is another one of me in on my husband's side of the family. As if that wasn't bad enough, I have now discovered there are EIGHT of me in the United States. EIGHT! Eight people with my same name! How do I know this? Because one of my friends had to email me this blankety blank site for me to obsess over:

How Many of Me?

So here's the lowdown;

There is only 1 Little Red Riding Hood. That would be her, I guess. I'm so smart.
There are 3 Hunka Hunka's.
And get this, there are 48 of my husbands! Only one in my heart though...yeah yeah yeah...

Fewer than 336 people in the US have the same last name as my maiden one. And we are all probably related because it is a variation of a more popular Mediterranean name that my ancestors changed by one letter for some reason that was important coming off the boat from Italy. Don't ask. I can't remember why. It's probably something I should know dontcha think? My married name is like "Smith" somewhere in Holland, or Sweden, or Norway or someplace like that, but it is the 10,685th most popular (can you really be considered popular that far down the list?) in the US.

So yeah, I am giving YOU something new to obsess over. Because once you clickety click over there and find how many of you there are, you can proudly display this:

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
8
people with my name in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

So out with it, HOW MANY OF YOU are there?

My Kind of Time Out

2008-09-03T12:20:00.003-04:00

Here is the Third Grader all prim and proper :

Here is Hunka Hunka #1 (my son on the left) and Hunka Hunka #2 (his buddy) waiting for the bus on their first day of kindergarten:

So where am I headed now you ask?

To "Time out" of course!

My neighbors know me all too well... Thanks T-Luh ;)

Note: No need to worry your pretty little heads. No alcohol was consumed before, during, or after the writing of this post. It's the middle of the day for crying out loud. Sheesh. And yes, that is a real bottle of wine named "Mommy's Time Out."

Debbie's got her groove back

2008-09-01T00:30:00.000-04:00

Twas the night before school starts and all through the house
not a creature was stirring not even my spouse.
The backpacks are ready and sitting by the door
filled with paper, glue, pencils, crayons and more.
We hit the mall for new clothes and new shoes
Little Red Riding Hood's even sporting a new "do."
The summer has been filled with sleeping in and fun
like field trips, cousins, camps, the pool and sun.
But now that it's early to bed and early to rise,
Little Red's gonna have a tough time opening her eyes.
The good news is she's excited to start fresh and new
and was thrilled her teacher has lots of Nancy Drew.
Hunka Hunka is headed down kindergarten way;
however, in our county it's only half day.
He's excited and scared, as am I
He's my baby, my boy, I'm sure to cry.
So what will I do with my first quiet day
that I have three hours alone while Hunka Hunka's away?
Laundry, cook, clean or jog?
No way sister, it's time to blog!
I've stayed away for an entire week
Yet, so many times, I've wanted to peek.
But, when I decided to get away from it all
I had to ignore my laptop's call.
Giggles, tickles, my kids, my man
gave me my groove back according to plan.
Thanks for the comment lovin', I've missed you all.
Alas, it's time I give you each a "call."

Taking a Break

2008-08-26T22:37:00.004-04:00

A blogging break that is.

Just until next week after school starts.

I'm burned out.

I want to be free of distraction so I can play with my kids non-stop for their last few days before going back to school.

I want to cook dinner not leftovers.

I want to finish reading the books I've started.

I want to clean my house.

I want to paint my powder room.

I want to finish painting the monogram picture I started for a special neighbor who turned 16 in May.

I want to watch Penn State's first football game.

I want to go to sleep before midnight.

I don't want to worry about what I'm going to post next and whether or not I get to all the blogs on my reader.

I want to step away from it all for just a bit.

So that when I come back, I will love it again.

Because, right now, I don't.

Yeah, it's probably time to unplug for awhile.

Have you ever unplugged?

PS. Blog Around the World is on auto-pilot this week. Thank you Blogger for auto-publish.

Blushworthy? Nah, it's Blogworthy!

2008-08-22T21:05:00.005-04:00

From the same kid who made the chocolate boobie milk comment, I present you with the following reenactment of a conversation my 6 year old son and I had while exiting the Pirate Ship ride at Hershey Park this week:

Me: Hunka Hunka (my son), what did you think of that ride? Wasn't it fun?

Hunka Hunka: It was so cool. It made my "pee pee peep" really tickle.

Me: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I am so gonna blog about that.

'Cause, it's all about the blog. Isn't it?

Don't Give Up on Me Baby

2008-08-20T00:21:00.005-04:00

This note it to you.

You keep stopping by.

You keep leaving comments.

But, I haven't been able to return the love.

I haven't forgotten about you.

It's just that I decided to follow through on an idea to launch a new blog that actually might be successful.

I have poured my every thought and late night blog time into that in the last three weeks.

But it has come at your expense.

I apologize for not being able to get to my regular rounds.

But I promise,

when I get a free moment this weekend,

I will be by to see all my old bloggy friends and to meet all the new ones that have left comments.

And I promise, I'll be funnier next week.

After my school's-gonna-start-in-two-weeks-let's-get-away-family mini-vacay.

"So don't give up on me baby!" (that's a really old David Soul song for those of you younger than I am ...which is pretty much all of you)

However,

I do have a burning question. How many blogs do you regularly follow?

Another nosey question

2008-08-18T02:00:00.006-04:00

I have houseguests right now so this has to be quick. And no I didn't sneak away to type this post. I thought of another nosey question while washing dishes after our feast BUT waited until we all "retired" for the night. "Retired?" Retired? Did I really type that?

So anyway.

What does your husband/significant other think of your blog, and does he read it? I'll go first.

Boobie Milk

2008-08-14T18:10:00.009-04:00

This is dinner conversation in our house.

Hunka Hunka: Mom, can you make Lola some boobie milk?

Me: Wha? Huh? What did you say?

Hunka Hunka: Can you make Lola some boobie milk?

Me: Um that would be NO!

Hunka Hunka: Why not?

Me: Because that bar has been closed for 5 years, and Lola is a WEBKIN!

Hunka Hunka: Awww, but she's thirsty.

Me: Lola. IS. A. WEBKIN!

Hunka Hunka: Can boobies make chocolate milk?

Rimshot please....

Blog Parenting

2008-08-12T08:28:00.003-04:00

I've discovered that blogging can in fact facilitate good parenting.

Work with me people.

For instance, let's just say that the Mommy blogger in the house had to get "some work" done this past weekend, and the eldest daughter of said Mommy blogger was hungry for lunch.

Hmmm.

Mommy Blogger says to ~~Little Red Riding Hood~~ daughter, "Just one minute."

A couple of minutes pass.

Daughter says in dramatically whiney voice, "Mommmm, I'm sooo hungry."

Mom replies while typing away, "Just let me finish typing this one last thing."

A couple more minutes pass.

Daughter cries, "Mom, you said you'd make me lunch an hour ago."

Mom says while still typing away, "What do you want?"

Daughter says, " PBJ, strawberries, and chips."

Mom says, "I'll be right, there," with no intention of stopping.

Daughter says, "You keep saying that."

Mom says, "You know where the PBJ and bread is, don't you?" while still typing.

Daughter says, "Yeah."

Mom says, "Then you can make it yourself. You're old enough."

Daughter says, "How?"

Mom says, "Get a butter knife, spread the PBJ, get some strawberries from the fridge, grab the chips from the pantry and get a napkin," never once looking up from the keyboard.

Daughter says, "What about my milk?

Mom says, "You can get it yourself. Just be careful."

Daughter says, "Oh. "

Wow. That was easy. Mommy Blogger never had to leave her laptop or stop typing, and daughter was proud she made lunch all by herself.

And that my friends is how you teach your children ~~to fend for themselves~~ independence.

I call that "blog parenting. "

Now my son wants breakfast. Sheesh, does it ever end?

Let me finish typing first.

I think I've lost my mind

2008-08-11T06:50:00.000-04:00

Yeah. It's official. I have. Lost my mind that is.

Or was it all a dream? Or too much wine? Or too much diet coke with a fresh lemon wedge that has finally affected my memory?

Because I think I parked my tootie tot in my big ole leather chair ~~all day~~ a couple of hours Saturday to set up and launch a new blog. A little something something called "Blog Around the World."

What. was. I. thinking? I wasn't. I didn't. Well I did. But, now I'm thinking I wish I was getting paid for this hobby of mine. Gotta work on that.

But I've still lost my mind.

However, you know what? It's fun. I love writing. I love making new friends all over the world. And I love connecting people together. And I love that my husband is my biggest fan, supporter, cheerleader and financier of it all. If he wasn't behind me in all this, I'd still be blogging to myself.

Doesn't matter. Mind. Gone. Kaput. Bye Bye

Because not only did I launch the site, ignore my family, ignore this blog, and ignore your blogs, I agreed to guest blog for Sarah over at Like A Warm Cup of Coffee."

Yup, I've lost my mind.

But I am honored that she thinks enough of me to write for her while she is basically bed ridden in the early stages of her second pregnancy. So friends, since I spent all my creativity on her post, I am sending you over to Like A Warm Cup of Coffee to give Sarah some comment lovin' in the way I know all us blogging Mama's do when one of us is feeling a little blue or under the weather.

Meanwhile, I've gotta go find my mind.

Now where could it be.....

Got any ideas?

Bored or Board?

2008-08-08T01:00:00.007-04:00

We are board game people. Are you? We have them all. You name it. We have it. And we play them together all the time. Beginning last spring, we started playing a game after dinner every night. Right now our game of choice is Sorry! My 6 year old son used his birthday gift card from Mr. Tar Jay last week to buy it. He passed up all the other stuff in the toy section because he was adamant that that was what he wanted. He had never played it. He had no idea what it was. He had only seen it at the beach house we rent in the Outer Banks and was intrigued by it. Well, ok then. So he bought it, and now, we can't get enough of it. Wanna know what else we're playing? Oh, I thought you'd never ask....

Yahtzee - We finally got my son to realize that you can't roll for a Yahtzee everytime, as many times as it takes to get it. He still likes to go for it, though. We just limit it to three rolls. Game rules you know.

Monopoly Junior - Yes, my son has channeled his inner Donald Trump because he does not usually lose. And does not like to lose if he ever does. And he takes all your money. And your properties. All while laughing. Heartless.

Trouble - This game is addictive. We played this almost every night through the spring. Thus, it was time to move on. Still love that popper thing, though.

Blokus - This is a new one for us and does require some spatial reasoning. Reasoning I don't have. It is really fun though and makes you think. Hard. Sometimes, too hard. Especially when you are sipping wine and playing it.

Sequence - We have the original version and the Junior version which is way too easy for the kids right now. Time to introduce them to the grown up version. "The Man" and I played this all the time before the kids were born.

Scrabble Junior - My husband and I love regular Scrabble but just started the kids on the Junior version. They love it.

Phase 10 is a card game that my husband and I played along with Scrabble and Sequence before kids. Love it. Addictive. Now I need to get Little Red Riding Hood into it. Well, not because it's addictive. Because it's fun.

We also went through a Clue Junior stage with Little Red Riding Hood several years ago and haven't played it since. But that might need to come back into the rotation as Clue is one of my favorite games ever. I still think Professor Plum had a thing for Miss Scarlett. Or was it Colonel Mustard? We also have OPERATION which I loved as a kid, but the buzzer scared the patooties out of Hunka Hunka when we first got it. As a result, "Sam," the patient, has been in the morgue for two years waiting for his "funny bone" to be replaced. Might need to try it out again. Can't live with a "wrenched knee" and "butterflies in the stomach" forever. Oh, oh wait. I played Battleship with my nephew recently. I can still hear those commericals, "Oh, you sunk my battleship!" So, that's what I ALWAYS have to say. Head slap and all.

I could go on and on, but then you would get bored, hearing about our board....oh that was bad.

So, do you play games, and if so, what do you like to play?

School supplies and s....s

2008-08-06T12:05:00.000-04:00

Warning: Finish eating first.

Yesterday was the big day to do our school supply shopping. This is our story.

There sits on an elevated corner in a neighboring town, The Three Wise Men: Mr. Kohl's, Mr. Tar Jay, and Mr. Costco. All sharing a parking lot. All sitting in their shiny five year old retail glory. Lording over their smelly brother Mr. Wal Mart that cowers just down the hill across a major road all by it's decades old lonesome, next to a worn out strip mall and Ms. Dolly Dollar Tree. The Three Wise Men also hold court with Lord Michael's, Princess Tuesday Morning, Mr. Staples, some grocery store whose name escapes me, Her Royal Highness Starbucks, Queen Quiznos, Captain Coldstone Creamery and The Reverend Room Store all of which sit in reverence across the street from the Big Three. The Three Wise Men are royal and regal; however, because of the tax free weekend we had in the state of Virginia on school supplies and clothes this past weekend, they were depleted of some things we needed on our list.

Oh No.

You know what that means.

We had to leave the presence of the Three Wise Men, cross the street, go down the hill, and pay a visit to their banished but rich brother Mr. Wal Mart. But before we braved the sights, sounds and smells of the WalMart. We paid another visit to royalty: Burger King who just so happens to guard Mr. Wal Mart. Think Barney Fife if you will. After we ate our fast food victuals, the minions, knowing Mama doesn't like germ-infested play castles, begged to play for a few minutes in said germ-infested play castle. I agreed and sat down with my diet coke (Sadly, no lemon wedge. It was Burger King after all.) and began to strategize how I would strip the kids down when we got home to get all the play area germies off. Oh and I need to get them to their shoes without them touching that disgusting floor. Hmm. Deep thoughts for sure.

So I sat and sipped, sat and sipped, la di da, thinking "dagnabit, I wish I had my book." In the background I hear Little Red Riding Hood say, "watch out for the s....s, Buddy." La di da...What did she say? Oh well. Probably just being bossy.

I continue to ponder what we are going to eat for dinner and vaguely hear LRRH's voice say "Buddy, stay away from the boog...."

Still deep in thought, la di da, I can't wait for football season. I'm not really ready for school to start...dum di dum.... I hear more talking in the background. "Buddy, stay away from the snots." Wait a minute. What did she just say?

And like a slow motion echo, this is what I hear:

"Buddy, Buddy, buddy, stay away, away, away from the snots, snots, snots."

The What? The Huh?

"LRRH, what did you just say?"

"Oh I was just telling Buddy to stay from the snots over here."

Everything came to a halt. Chewing stopped. Heads turned. Did she just say what I think she said?

Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, call the CDC and the fire department. And while you're at it get a bucket cause Mama's gonna hurl, and so is the lady next to me.

"Mom, I was telling Buddy to stay away from the snots in the corner."

"I heard you. I heard you. We all heard you."

"Get out of there NOW."

"But why?"

"We need to go home and shower."

Why, don't I seem to be able to leave my house without some gagifying bodily goo being part of the experience. Why? Why? Why? Didja ever see "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble?" Yeah, well that's gonna be us soon.

Never. Ever. Again.

Ever.

The End.

Today

2008-08-04T20:49:00.003-04:00

Today.
Oh, today.
Today just plain sucked.
Today, I feel like spilling my guts to all of you.
But today isn't the time.
Because today I reminded myself a hundred times that I vowed not to bring family junk into this space that I view as my respite, my outlet, my place to laugh and make you laugh.
But today I don't feel like laughing.
Because today I've spent crying.
Today I had a horrible fight with my mother over family issues that have lingered for five years.
And today I realized that she will never, ever get it.
So today I give up. And no she doesn't read my blog. Hasn't for months.
But today I read a couple of yours; however, now I just feel like crawling into bed.
So today I just want to tell you that I'm not ignoring you.
It's just that today really really sucked.

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."
Psalm 143:8 (NIV)

There will be restoration and healing. That is His promise. God is good.

I gave in

2008-08-03T18:55:00.000-04:00

I read 250 out of 500 pages yesterday.

Most of you know that I am a square conservative born again Christian, so you have to believe me when I tell you that this book is nothing like I thought it would be. No horror, no blood, no offensive knocks against my beliefs. It's just a fantastical complicated love story between a human and a vampire. I will gladly ~~drink a cup of blood~~ eat some humble pie and tell you that yeah, it's pretty good. Having said that, I'm on board for the rest of the series and would actually go see the movie. I brought it to the pool on Friday, and when Little Riding Hood's friend saw it, she said "Oh, my sister read that."

Yeah.

She's 13.

PS. Thanks for playing my state game which has somehow morphed into a Mister/Miss America pageant. I am getting all the ~~sashes~~ links loaded state by state. So ya gotta give me a couple of days. Now go get your gowns ready. And practice your smile. And your wave.

The 50 State Challenge

2008-07-31T16:12:00.010-04:00

Okay, I have been thinking about doing this for awhile. I am dying to see if I can get a blogger from every state in the country to come forward. I did have a reader from Hawaii at one point. But she hasn't been around for awhile. Oh Oh and I did see Alaska run across my sitemeter one day and was so excited. But, yeah, she hasn't been around in awhile either. Hmmmm, was it my grammar? Oh well, you all are my friends now, and I want to know what state you are from. If you wouldn't mind, please leave a comment, even if you do so anonymously, and tell me what state you live in. I will tally 'em up and see who's got the biggest presence in this little part of blogosphere.

Then, I'm going to do state by state party post linking all the bloggers from a particular state.

I'll make dinner and serve wine or whatever, while you talk amongst yourselves and your homey's. Wanna play? Oh come on, pretty please. And, yeah, that means all you lurkers, ya gotta play along, too!

I'll go first!

Your comments so far are cracking me up. No, there won't be a bathing suit competition, but there might be a pie eating contest. In our gowns. And high heels. Go get your Spanx now.

Okay we need the following contestants:

Ms. Connecticut,
Ms. New Hampshire,
Ms. Vermont (never seen this one)
Ms. Maine (saw this one this morning. Why didn't you take your crown?)
Ms. Wyoming (might be tough)
Ms. Montana (must not have computers there)
Ms. Massachusetts (I have seen you a couple of times)
Ms. Delaware (hmmm?)
Ms. West Virginia (ooooh, I don't think I've ever seen WVA)
Ms. New Mexico ( Oh I saw you on Friday!!! Claim your crown!)
Ms. New Hampshire (Didn't you drop by in the last two weeks or so?)

Raise your hand

2008-07-30T16:39:00.004-04:00

Raise your hand if you think Jerry Seinfeld is a brilliant comic?

Raise your hand and tell me what Jerry Seinfeld consciously doesn't do yet is still considered a brilliant comic?

Then help me understand why perfectly intelligent men and women feel the need to do it.

Because I seriously don't get it.

Rhetorically speaking

2008-07-29T06:18:00.007-04:00

I have a couple of questions. I don't think you can answer them, but I'm still gonna ask them.

Why do I hate clothes shopping?

Why do I have to hold things out T H I S far to read them?

Why don't my kids listen the first time when asked in a normal voice instead of the 5th time in a, ahem, louder voice?

Why does my husband love and adore ME?

Why am I the only person who doesn't give two hoots what Oprah thinks, does or says?

Why does everyone like those vampire books? I'm still not convinced they are the best EVER.

Why does my laundry procreate the day after all of it is washed, folded and put away?

Why didn't I think of Webkinz?

Why do I pay $155 plus tip every six weeks to get my hair restored to it's natural color?

Why do my kids think they are royalty and that servants are going to show any minute now to do their chores that they daily exclaim are "boring." Duh, it is boring. Do you think I like doing them?

Why can't I seem to make a decision on the new flooring for my second floor?

Why did Jen have to die on Dawson's Creek?

Why did Dawson's Creek have to end?

Why is my brother's wife, aka my sister-in-law, number two on my Mom's speed dial only after her home phone, and I wasn't even listed on the first screen?

Why are gas prices so high?

Why are we really surprised that people are foreclosing on homes at a record pace when aggressive lenders used gimmicky financing for people purchasing homes they couldn't really afford, and now we the taxpayers have to bail them out? Burns. Me. Up.

Why did I schedule my son's 6 year well visit the day after his birthday? Did I mention he has to get a shot? And I haven't told him yet? And today is his birthday.

Why can't we find Osama Bin Laden?

Why do I love and loathe coffee? Love the smell, Loathe the taste.

Why did I go up a size and a half in shoes after I had my kids?

Why am I writing this?

Why are you reading this?

Why don't I trust people?

Why am I so naive?

Why doesn't my sister read my blog, but her husband does?

Why did my political "go to" guy, Tim Russert have to die? Who am I going to listen to now, the unctuous and and annoying, Ann Curry? Who, by the way, according to the Washington Post will have a prominent role in the election coverage and is on the short list to replace Katie Couric Wha? If Katie couldn't get it done, Ann certainly can't get it done.

Why am I addicted to diet coke with a fresh lemon wedge?

Why don't all the people that stop by blogs actually comment?

Why do I blog?

Why do I always feel like an outsider looking in anywhere I go including my own family?

Why does anyone give two licks about Paris Hilton? Did anyone really believe her jailhouse transformation? Vapid. Phony. No talent.

Why did I just use up my blog space typing the name Paris Hilton?

Why did the little boy at the library grab a book out of my son's hand while his mother watched?

Why did I have to use my passive agressive voice with said little boy letting him know that my son was looking at the book and it wasn't very nice of him to grab it hoping his MOTHER would get a clue?

Why are people so stinkin rude sometimes? Like all the people at Target on the weekend. A time that I usually avoid having to run errands because everyone IS so rude. Give me 9 a.m. on a school day to shop anytime. Bliss.

Why did Brett Favre retire only to un-retire a few short months later?

Why is there so much poverty?

Why do athletes make so much money? I get it. I get it. It's business. But still. They could collectively make a dent in poverty just in the US if they weren't so busy building $700,000 swimming pools, and aquariums and indulging in other such extravagances in their back yard like one such NBA player that plays for our home town team.

Why do people cuss? Ugh, I hate bad words. So many more intelligent ways to express yourself than the four letter kind.

Why are Dads more likely to let their kids under 12 sit in the front seat?

Why do some parents let their kids sit in cars unbuckled, flip and flopping all around the back seat?

Why are girls so catty?

Why are boys so sweaty?

Why didn't I listen to my internal "Phony, phony, she's a phony" alert?

Why do we love girl scout cookies?

Why do I want a girl scout cookie and a potato chip right now?

Why do we have all kinds of technology that are supposed to make jobs easier, but the American work day gets longer and longer?

Why am I dreading the start of school now, and it's still five weeks away?

Why I do sometimes get wistful for my kids to be small again?

Why does time seem like it's flying by?

Why didn't Jim ask Pam to marry him?

Why did someone leave pooh on the floor of the bathroom at the pool last week? And not tell anyone?

And finally,

Why do I always feel the need to shower when I return home from a trip to Walmart?

Care to add anything?

And because today is in fact my son's birthday, I am turning off the computer to give him my undivided attention. I am so behind on reading your blogs. But I will catch up with you tomorrow. I promose. After cake.

And the winners are.....

2008-07-28T08:52:00.003-04:00

As you can see, I had a very sophisticated way of selecting winners for my blog bling contest. Oh sure I could have used Random.org, but really, isn't it more fun to see handwritten names, in a "Cars" bike helmet, selected by someone who I had to drag away from playing play doh with her brother and grampy to do the honors?

The winners are Hot Tub Lizzy and Happy Hour Sue both of whom found me through SITS and both of whom make me laugh really hard on a regular basis. I will be in touch with you ladies to hook you up with Cara, the blogicon lady. I'm expecting to see FUN things on those FUN blogs of yours!

So there you have it. My first and probably last contest. I'm not a big fan of contests, are you?

Junie's not welcome here

2008-07-27T13:45:00.000-04:00

Little Red Riding Hood will be selecting the blog bling winners later today.

A couple of people have asked me why I don't like the Junie B. Jones books. My daughter was given her first and only Junie book as a Christmas gift several years ago. Within the first few pages of the book, I decided that it was junk and wasn't appropriate. There is a gratuitous use of slang, questionable word choice (IMHO), and other manglings of the English language that I felt were counterproductive in teaching a first grader how to read and write well. I just knew that I would eventually hear the words, "But that's how it's spelled right here in this Junie B. Jones book." As parents, you all know that if teachers and authors say it's so, well, by golly, it's gospel. If I challenge/correct what any of them say, it has to be validated by multiple sources like the dictionary, the FBI, the CIA, the internet, and Daddy.

Here are just a few goodies from the Junie B. Jones book we have. And yes, these are all in ONE book. And, yes, this is all written verbatim.

Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth

"I made a fist at him. "How'd you like me to bash your brains in, you big fat Jim?"

"Only I hate that dumb guy."

"I did a big sigh at her."

"Only that stupid head Jim wouldn't let go of it. And so I had to pinch his arm."

"I do act like a little lady, you dumb bunny Lucille! And don't say that again, or I'll knock you on your can."

"Im going to dress up like a princess," said my best friend Lucille that I hate. "

"only this stupid ant bited me. And so I had to drop a rock on his head."

"And he told us some other stuff that cops do. Like give our dads speeding tickets. And rest drunk guys."

(UMMM, do your even kids know what "drunk" means? Mine don't. And do they need to at this age?)

"Then Mrs. said that maybe some of us might like to dress up like dentists or police officers on Job Day. Yeah, only what if you don't like drunk guys or bloody teeth?" I asked.

In reference to her brother in a chapter titled "Dumb Ollie" : "Darn it, darn it darn, it. 'Cause that dumb old baby takes up all of Mother's time. " That's nice.

That's why Junie isn't welcome in our house. But that's just me.

Spin the Bottle and Left Hooks

2008-07-26T00:24:00.008-04:00

Betcha thought I was gonna talk about high school hijinx and bar room brawls. Nope. I'm talking about our beloved friends, The Berenstain Bears. Last year I complained to the five readers I had then how appalling it was that Sister and Brother Bear played "spin the bottle" at Sister's birthday party in "The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Birthday." Not pin the tail on the donkey. Not musical chairs. They played spin-the-freakin-bottle. I halfway expected it to be an empty Corona bottle full of cigarette butts the way the story was going. Oh you can imagine the questions from my kids because they don't. miss. a. beat, and I couldn't contain the look of horror on my face as those words spilled out of Little Red Riding Hood's mouth from our beloved Berenstain Bears books. "Mom what's spin the bottle? How do you play? Why haven't we ever played?" Well, because it's usually played by teenagers up to no good, that's why! Now go brush your teeth after saying those words.

So tonight, we read "The Berenstain Bears and the Bully." The story told of how a little girl bully named "Tuffy" beat up Sister. As revenge, Sister learned how to throw a left hook and an upper cut. I kid you not. Tuffy then tried to bully a baby bird on the playground the next day. Sister wasn't having any of that so she threw a right cross knocking Tuffy on the ground. I'm not making this up. The two bears ended up in the principal's office where Tuffy cried that she didn't want her parents to know because she wouldn't "be able to sit down for a--well, a long time." Okay, that issue aside, the principal let Sister off the hook completely for protecting a bird and

"As for Tuffy, the principal didn't call in her parents. But she did lose a week of recess, and she had to visit the school psychologist twice a week for quite a while."

Helllooo? Mr. Berenstain? You're kidding right? No punishment for Sister at all? Yeah the baby bird needed protecting, but Sister used a boxing move on a kid! And Tuffy was being sent to a psychologist without the parents knowledge? What school district and century are you in pal? No child gets sent to a psychologist without a slew of testing, and forms and signatures, and oh yeah, the parent's permission! She was in a fight for crying out loud. Don't the parents need to be notified? It's elementary school! It bugs me that this book portrays this as truth for kids and parents to read. It leaves them with the impression that kids have no consequences for hitting another child in the name of subjectively defined altruism , and that kids can be sent to a school psychologist without parental knowledge let alone consent. That just doesn't happen. I'm sure Mama and Papa Bear would want to know that Sister was throwing upper cuts that Brother taught her in the cellar. And Tuffy's Mom deserves to know that someone hit her baby bear and got away with it. I know it's just a book, but still. It bugs me because they are widely read, and this is irresponsible. Irresponsible, I tell ya.

Am I off-base on this? I'm probably overreacting. I do that from time to time you know. And don't get me started on those Junie B. Jones books. Just don't.

Quirky? Not moi.

2008-07-24T07:21:00.001-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, Swirl Girl tagged me for a meme requesting that I reveal 6 random quirks about myself. At least I think that's what it was. Quirky? I'm not quirky. So I iron all our clothes. What's it to ya? For this one, I decided to ask my husband to list some of my quirks, with my approval of course. This is how it went down:

The Man walks in the door after work.

Me: Hi Honey. How was your day? Good? That's great. I need you to help me out with something.

The Man: What's that?

Me: One of my bloggy friends has asked me to list 6 quirky things about myself, and I want you to list them.

The Man: Hi Honey. How was YOUR day. Fine? Ok, let's see. Well the first thing has to be that you leave cabinets and drawers open all the time....he says as he walks through the kitchen closing the cabinets and doors that I left open while making dinner or cleaning up.

Me: It's genetic. I swear. My Mom and sister do the exact same thing. I don't know why. All three of us get stuff out of the cabinets and drawers and just walk away. I eventually come back to close it. It just takes awhile. There are days that I make sure I have closed everything before you walk in the door. Honestly.

The Man: Rolling his eyes. Must not be very often because I do it everyday. Ummm, what else? Oh...how about "Everything has to blow up until it gets clean."

Me: Oh that's a good one. It's true. In order for me to properly do a deep clean, I have to dismantle everything making a huge mess so that I can sort, purge, clean and put it back together. Thus it explodes before it gets clean. I think that's anti-Flylady because it takes longer than a timer would allow...ya know like days. What else?

The Man: Three words. "The Burn Process"

Me: Oh yeah. Tee hee. Gotta explain this one to ya. I am a fanatic about taking a shower after traveling on a plane or train or any other mode of public transportation really. When we first got married and my husband would arrive home from the airport after a trip, I told him he couldn't get into bed until he showered. It was received with groans at first, but after several months of the "you-better-take-a-shower-before-you-get-in- this-bed-look, he started doing it without me ~~nagging~~ asking him. He finally caught on to the goodness that is getting all those public germies off his body. Told ya, quirky. And oh so much happier (and cleaner) though. After all ladies, when mama's happy, everybody's happy. What's next?

The Man: What about cleaning and vacuuming the whole house before we leave for vacation? That's quirky.

Me: That's not quirky. That's smart! I like to come home from vacation to a tidy, freshly vacuumed house. What else ya got?

The Man: The whole painting and re-painting things.

Me: A woman's got a right to change her mind and her paint colors. It's just paint.

The Man: Not when it looked fine the way it was.

Me: You don't get it. Next?

The Man: Since we've been married, have you ever stayed awake for a movie we've watched?

Me: Probably not. I don't know what it is, but everytime I sit down to watch a movie, I fall asleep and never finish it. I did that recently with "About a Boy" and one of the Bourne movies. Yup, saw them both through through the ole eyelids.

The Man: Is that it?

Me: I think so. You still love me though right?

The Man: Always.

There you have it ladies. My quirks. I'm supposed to tag 6 other people. But since I never know who to choose, will you tell me one of your quirks?

Blog Bling

2008-07-22T13:24:00.010-04:00

If you can't see the bling, re-save my blog to your favorites. It will then show up. What? I'm not on your favorites? What you are waiting for? An invite?

Pssst. Can you hear me? I don't want The Man to know this. But I bought a new blog bauble for myself yesterday. Oh wait, he already knows. He helped me pick it out. So why I am whispering? I don't know. I'm alone in the house. Kind of weird. It's so quiet. I'm not used to that. Maybe that's why I'm whispering. My kids are at my parent's house for the day and night. Woohoo. So now, I get to clean out the basement again. Notice I said AGAIN. Yeah, good times. I hate keeping stuff. Once we are done with stuff, off to goodwill it goes or to some unsuspecting recipient like my neighbor T-Luh who will find a Little Tikes Rocking Horse on her front porch when she gets home. Her husband has no idea that horsey is moving in from down the street. That's the way we roll around here. And I mean we roll. As in we roll our unused junk from one house to another. Witness the desk in my daughter's room that was given to us by one of my neighbors. LRRH loves it. Free and functional. Works for me. What does all this have to do with my new bloggy bauble? Not one thing. I just wanted to talk to ya.

Did you notice it yet? My new bling? No? Okay, I'll tell you. Look at the browser tab on this page. Notice the curly cue up there? It's from the dotted "i" in my header title "This is the Life". Cara from Your blogicon custom made it for me. And lucky for you, while I was driving home from the half-a-tank drop off of my kids at my parents house just so I could get ~~some peace and quiet~~ some projects done, I was thinking that it would be fun to adorn a couple of bloggy friends with some new bling. Just like mine. Don't you love it? Your custom blogicon will look cool on your browser. And when your fans add you to their favorites, your blog will, ya know, BLING.

Do you want your own custom blogicon?

If you do, leave me a comment and tell me what kind of gas guzzler you drive. That's more interesting than "Hi, I'm Betty blogger and I want bling. Enter me in your contest." Plus, as I've said before, I'm nosey like that. (Did I tell you I hate mini-vans? Won't be caught dead driving one. Well, I can't be caught dead driving one because I would be, well, dead. I drive a $75- and- rising a tank SUV. )That's all ya gotta do. Just say "Hi Debbie, I drive an SUV or minivan or car or bicycle or in my case sometimes, a broom." No linking back. No wasting a post about Debbie's 430something post giveaway on your blog (437 to be exact). Simple. And I will have Little Red Riding Hood do a live random drawing of TWO of your names at the end of the week. Polls close at midnight Eastern time, July 26, 2008. That sounds so official doesn't it.

I really have no idea what I'm doing. I just wanted to bless TWO bloggy friends with their own custom blogicons as a way of saying thanks. You all think I'm funny. And, you keep coming back. And, I really appreciate that, because I'm a little insecure about this blogging thing sometimes. And, you all have really encouraged me along the way. Oh, wait, now I know why I was whispering, I didn't tell The Man about the blog bling giveaway. Oh honey, it's only $20. I'll pay for it with Hunka Hunka's (my son) birthday money that's soon to arrive in the mail for only me to see. Ever.

A couple of you have mentioned that you can't see my blogicon. Go to your web browser where you would type in a URL, and there should be a curly cue just before my blogspot URL. If you use Internet Explorer it will show up on the browser tab instead of the blogger logo right next to the title "This is the Life."

Late night snack?

2008-07-21T07:45:00.001-04:00

Warning: If you are eating right now, finish up and then read. If you are hungry, you won't be in minute. If you are dieting, just remember this story the next time you are craving a late night snack.

Consider yourselves warned. I'm not kidding. You think I'm kidding? Well, keep eating and let me know what happens.

Last week while waiting in line at a fan fest to get an NHL game-used-hockey stick (that my husband bought for me) autographed by my favorite Washington Capitals hockey player that used the stick, (I told you I loved sports.) I struck up a conversation with the woman in front of me. We hit it off right away, and it made the two hour wait more bearable (not a word people, not a word). She was very interesting, was huge hockey fan, worked in production for Discovery TV, lived on Capitol Hill, wasn't married and was 36. Normal enough. So as we were talking, I noticed that she kept putting her finger in her ear, then kind of balling the wax up between two fingers and putting it her pocket. What is she doing? She did not do what I think she just did? Don't gag, don't flinch, don't let on that you noticed. Please say that didn't just happen. Lovely thoughts, think lovely thoughts, Debbie: the smell of Tide, a glass of wine, the yummy lunch I was going to eat. Oh don't think of that when you just watched someone who was saving ear wax for, what, a late night snack?

Then it happened.

In a move that will forever be burned into my mind's eye. An image I will never shake.

She took her index finger, scooped something out of her ear and popped it in her mouth.

Oh, yes she did.

All while looking straight at me.

It took everything in me to pretend I didn't notice and even more restraint not to scrunch up my face in horror and yell, "EWWWWW, that's so disgusting. What's wrong with you? " Instead, I was stunned. I didn't throw up in my mouth like I wanted to. I didn't laugh. I didn't gag. I didn't scream. I couldn't think. I didn't do anything. I just kept talking. Certainly this had to be a joke. No one does that. Oh, okay I get it. Where's Ashton and the Punk'd cameras? Surely they were about to arrive, right? Nope. Nothing. Instead, she was all la di da continuing the conversation as. if. nothing. had. happened.

Then it all sunk in.

I just witnessed a 36 year old woman eat ear wax. For real.

And now that I've typed those words,

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Answers from Red's Hood

2008-07-19T14:55:00.002-04:00

LRRH and I decided it would be easier to answer all the questions from the previous post in one big post. We have been really, really busy for the last few days so this is the first chance we have had to get caught up.

Ms. The Mom,
Hi the mom! I'm Hannah Montana CRAZY!!!! I really want to watch the 3-d concert on T.V. Well there's one thing I have to do. Ask mom if I can watch it. That won't be all that hard. Thanks for the question! Bye!

Ms. Leigh Ann,
I will ask my mom if I can do it again.

Ms. Kat
Tell Sugar to use proper grammar.

Mrs. Caroline,
I am little. I don't like to wear red. I like to ride bikes and in cars. I have not been on a roller coaster. I have one hoodie. But I didn't name myself because of that. I just kind of thought up a name in my head and somehow I got Little Red Riding Hood. That is very weird though.

Ms. Swirl Girl,
I don't really like to clean my room. (Ain't that the truth)

Ms. Lauren W,
My favorite color is pink. (She started out pink, princessy and only wearing dresses. She went to first grade and only liked blue and jeans. Pink was, gasp, way too girly. By the middle of second grade, she decided pink was cool again. But still wouldn't be caught dead in a dress. However, skorts and clickety clack shoes are ok. As my husband says daily, "Some poor guy."
I love High School Musical. (Yes. We have seen it a million times.)
My favorite drink is water. (That is true. I won't let my kids drink soda. I know all too well the path from taking a sip to addiction to blogging about it.)

Ms. Amy,
To tell you the truth not really. (She asked if LRRH liked any other fairy tales. )

Ms. Rhea,
Mom said you live in Texas. My aunt lives in Texas too. Funny huh.

Ms. Michelle,
Thanks for the compliment.

Ms. Shannon,
I don't really like the Jonas Brothers or the Naked Brothers. I don't really know who the Naked brothers are. And the Jonas brothers, I have no clue what their songs mean. (We really don't know who the Naked Brothers are. And she doesn't get the Jonas Brothers which is fine with me.)

Ms. Karin,
Well I am in already in blogland because I have a blog. But it is private. (BTW, Karin, she is a little sassy at times, too)

Ms. Gina,
I do have a blog but sorry, my mom said it has to be private.

Ms. Tracy,
I have a blog named The Stepping Stones of my life. I chose that because I am not complete with my life and its just the stepping stones of it. Funny I have Hannah Montana sunglasses too. (She seriously came up with that name herself. She is much more of a thinker than I ever was at that age. Oh let's be honest, than I currently am ;)

Ms. Jen (The Mom),
I still need to get my 3-D glasses but I hope we can get them soon.

Ms. Tiffany,
Going to the pool.
(I need to add that she tried out and won a singing solo at a Christian drama camp she attended last month. She sang Nicole C. Mullen's "When I Call on Jesus" and can sing "Amazing Grace (My chains are gone) by Chris Tomlin a capello sending goose bumps up and down your spine. She is very humble about her talent. I'm not. She's good.)

Ms. Karen,
I like Hannah Montana and High School Musical. My favorite characters are Sharpay on HSM and Lily on HM.

Ms. Missy,
Not to be mean to mom but I am a little funnier. (I told you she was sassy.)

Ms. Jennifer P,
You should have told me that (blogging is a nasty habit) before I started one.

Ms. Jennifer (Mrs. G),
I got funny then Mom got funny. (We missed you at VBS on Friday. I served 500 hot dogs at the carnival. Did I tell you I hate hot dogs. I still have the taste in my mouth. I think I'm gonna throw up.)

Ms. Heather,
Of course I will pop in from time to time. I chose purple because that is the color I use on my blog.

Ms. Sidney,
I ADORE Webkinz. My favorite is the little kinz pig. I named her Shirley.

Ms. Dawn,
I have a private blog so you should let your daughter have a private blog.

Ms. Jill (One Wired Woman),
My mom says your son looks like Zac Efron. (He really, really does.)

Ms. Suzanne,
I dressed up as a hockey player for halloween. I have been doing many things this summer. I can't name them all. (Well, I can because they have been keeping me from blogging too much...going to the pool, camp, the park, VBS, the library, the driving range, visiting cousins, field trips, doctor appointments, playing board games, going to the Washington Capitals fan fest, playing on the water slide.)

Ms. Piggy (that doesn't sound right)
Thanks for the comment.

Ms. Shelle,
You really want me to guest blog? Then what is your blog name? I'll come over right away. But it is going to be hard to travel through the computer.

Mrs. Lester,
I definitely like Camp Rock better. (Uh, hmm, that's news to me.)

Ms. Mama Dawg,
I haven't heard a name like Mama Dawg before.

Ms. Trish,
I think I went to Disneyland when I was a baby. (Not sure who's bright idea it was to take a 15 month old to Disneyland when it's hot and said 15 month old was terrified of Pooh, Tigger, Cinderella, the bees, the rides, the everything.) I think you should let your son post on your blog. I have already been to blog world when I first got my blog on the last day of school.

Ms. Katy,
Thanks for the comment.

Ms. Susie Harris,
I had a teacher named Mrs. Harris.

Ms. Z's Mom (Karla),
Don't worry I'll come back into This is the life. But mostly I am going to be in The Stepping stones of my life which is my blog. One thing. It is private.

Ms. Kelly,
Thanks for the comment.

Ms. Heathalee,
My favorite drink is water with lots of ice.

Ms. Connie,
I love hockey too. But one thing different is I only like the Capitals. (I told her you were a Red Wings fan.)

Ms. Julie,
I am so thrilled that you are excited for me to be on mom's blog. (She absolutely used the word "thrilled" on her own.)

Ms. Tam,
Thanks for leaving me a comment.

Ms. Shanan,
I really don't like the Jonas bros. I'm more crazy over Hannah Montana. (Thank goodness. She is 8. I don't need a boy crazy girl in the house yet.)

Ms. Sidney,
Thanks for leaving another comment. I would love to go to the Cheesecake factory. That would be my first time going.

Ms. Kathi,
It sure is. Because I am a writer too. (Kathi said it was better to write than to be written about.)

Thank you all for being so enthusiastic for me on my mom's blog. Hello? Hello? It had to happen again. I guess I am going to leave now. Bye bye! (Those are absolutely 100% her words, not mine.)

Thanks everyone for playing along! Because of the drama involved (she didn't like my additional commentary) in answering all these questions, this might be the first and last Q&A with LRRH. Unless she begs me.

Is it too early for a glass of wine.

Surprise Guest Blogger

2008-07-16T19:53:00.005-04:00

I swear to you this is the absolute, God's honest truth, my daughter typed up this post herself when I asked her to guest blog for me. Here she goes:

Hey everyone! I'm Little Red Riding Hood. I'm soooo happy to post on my mom's blog. You have been wondering why I want to be called Little Red Riding Hood, so here's the finnal grand answer, I don't really know. So anyone have more qustions? Why are you laughing? Hello? Hello? Well I guess I'm done. Bye!

There you have it ladies. So now do your thang and leave my aspiring blogger some comment love.

Freaks Who Iron

2008-07-15T07:03:00.004-04:00

I am short on time today, but I'm dying to know something. This past weekend, I spent TWO hours ironing. TWO. T-W-O. That is TWO hours I could have been doing something more fun. But, I am obsessed with ironed clothes. There's nothing like a crisp crease. MMMM MMMM good. I iron all my kids shirts, shorts, pants, my shirts, shorts, pants, and my husband's shirts and shorts. All his work stuff goes to the cleaners. My school year routine has been to iron on Tuesday mornings, but I have let that slip for a couple of weeks because we have been so busy with other things. As a result, the pile was ginormous. Thus, the two hour iron fest. So while I was ironing, I wondered if I was only the freak who firstly, irons at all, and secondly, who finds it, ya know, kind of therapeutic. I know. I know. I'm a freak.

Are you a freak who irons?

If you don't get it, you don't get it

2008-07-13T17:46:00.002-04:00

And I'm tired of explaining it.

Explaining what? Explaining what this blog or Mommy blogging is in general to people I know in real life that don't get it.

Explaining to people, yes, the same people that I told back in February 2007 that I started a blog to post pictures and stories about our family, that, hello, they were always asking for.

Explaining to people that I am related to by blood or that I've known most of my life.

Explaining to people I thought would be interested or cared.

Explaining to people who, in the end, just can't be bothered.

Yes, the same people who take the time to forward emails instructing me to act quickly in the next 10 minutes or I will explode into pieces, grow another boobie, lose all my teeth or other such nonsense that requires me to cut and paste the URL from Snopes.com explaining yet again, that I didn't follow the instructions, and I still only have two boobies because that email is bogus...egads, I hate that.

Alas, people who still can't be bothered no matter how many times I plastered my URL in their faces.

My mother told another relative recently to click on my blog to see what's happening in our lives and to see pictures of the kids, blah blah blah.

That's when I knew my own mother wasn't reading regularly, and I told her that the relative would be disappointed. Because as most of YOU know, yeah total strangers, this blog is more about me now. I stopped telling stories and posting pictures of my kids awhile ago.

"Oh," she said, "Why?"

"Because none of you were reading it, Little Red Riding Hood got mad, and I began to enjoy just making this a creative writing (and I use that term verrrry loosely) outlet for me."

Then recently one of my friends in real life (FIRL) who hadn't logged on in awhile, logged on. She asked me who all of you were.

Me: "I don't know."
FIRL: "You mean you don't know any of these people."
Me: "Nope." Well that's not entirely true. Some of you are people I actually know.
FIRL: "How did they find you?"
Me: "I don't know. The spider effect of the internet, I guess."
FIRL: "Wow. "
Me: "Yeah, it's crazy and fascinating at the same time. They are people from all over the world that I've never met, people whose actual voices I've never heard, people who I wouldn't recognize on the street, but they are people who I find extremely interesting, smart, funny, inspiring and who are experiencing alot of the same things as wives and mamas that I am. "

FIRL: "Oh. Ooookay."

Yeah. Whatever.

She doesn't get it.

And I'm done explaining it.

Huggies and Tree Huggers

2008-07-10T14:29:00.000-04:00

I really really can't stand when famous people pretend to be deep thinkers. I took the kids to the dentist this morning for their six month cleanings, and while waiting, I perused Good Housekeeping. Lo and behold, I came across this little gem:

By Sheryl Crow, mom of Wyatt, Age 1
GoodHousekeeping, July 2008

"When my son was three months old, I took him to the zoo. ( I didn't even know you had a baby?) At the polar bear exhibit, (Polar bears at the zoo? Yeah, I checked it out.) Wyatt's face lit up when he saw the polar bear. (Sheryl, honey, that was gas. Three month old babies barely light up at the sight of Mommy let alone an 8 foot beast.) It was amazing for me to watch them connect-these living beings who share a planet. (Oh they were connecting allright. Your son was looking like an appetizer off the TGI Friday's menu.) But I also felt panic and overwhelming sadness knowing the impact our environment is having on polar bears and on us. (Panic really? You better not go see WALL-E then. That will really make you panic when you see what earth's gonna look like in 600 years)

Yet I see something very hopeful in kids-the birth of new activists. (Are you saying your three month old is an activist? Hahahahahehhehheee) Kids don't just feel helplessness and panic but a sense of injustice, too. (Name one kid you know who is panicking about the earth turning into heap o trash. I'll name two who panic only when I threaten to get rid of the TV.) I sometimes think the thing that keeps adults from acting is cynicism, a belief that we can't really change things. (Oh you haven't heard? I don't need to worry about fixing anything. Obama and McCain have vowed to fix it all.) Kids aren't like that. They're awake to what's around them, so they can actually do something about it. (Do you really believe what you're saying?) We teach our kids all these ideals: Let's leave the Earth a better place than we found it. Kids are motivated not just by what's in their heads but by what they actually see, like a baby polar bear. (Psst. Sheryl, with the exception of the San Diego Zoo, the likelihood of ANY child seeing a polar bear that usually lives in, I don't know, the North Pole, is as likely as Lance Armstrong dating one of the Olsen twins. ) They can be the ones to motivate us, their parents to change. (No they won't. Because that will mean no more plastic toys in their Happy Meal.)

I'll bet she uses disposable diapers.

Little Red Riding Hood

2008-07-08T18:01:00.001-04:00

My daughter, if you will recall, does not want to be referred to, mentioned, blogged about, breathed about, dreamt about, written about, you name it, she wants no part of being cast in "This is the Life." Funny thing. She is part of why "This is the Life." HOWEVER, and that is a big HOWEVER, she has informed me that I shall now refer to her as "Little Red Riding Hood" on my blog. I have no idea why. She just wants to be referred to as such. Of course, that is only whenst I am given permission to speak of her. (Don't I sound British?) Yeah. She's 8. Any of you have a a cute little three or four year old princessy daughter out there? Yeah, well, so did I. Good times are awaiting you, my friend. Good times. Someone asked me recently when the girly hormones kick in. My reply: "When they come out of the womb, kicking and screaming." Giggle. Giggle. It's no joke people. Consider yourself warned.

Yet, in spite of all the drama, LRRH is extremely bright and very perceptive. So, to fill in the gap until I finish my next post about a movement I am starting for all mothers, (oh yeah, you'll want to jump on my Norma Rae soapbox atop the bandwagon), I thought I would share some of LRRH's notable quotes of late:

THE ONE ABOUT CHINA

Little Red Riding Hood: Why are all of my American Girl dolls and clothes and stuff made in China?
Me: Ummm, hmmm, it's cheaper to make them there. (Actually, sweetie, they own us.)
LRRH: Mom, this American Flag was made in China!! Isn't is supposed to be made in America?
Me: What? Let me see that. GASP. Oh my Stars, Stripes and Chopsticks!
LRRH: Mom, everything is made in China.
Me: Yeah, well , you weren't.

TV DAD's THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD

LRRH: Mom, you know how Dad's are supposed to be strong and smart?
Me: Yeah.
LRRH: Well, why are the Dad's on TV so silly and goofy? Sometimes they look, you know, kind of dumb. And the kids aren't nice to them.
Me: Wow. That is very true and very perceptive of you, Peanut. What made you wonder about that?
LRRH: Well, you know sometimes on Hannah Montana, her Dad seems goofy.
Me: Yeah well he had a mullet at one point... Okay, no more Hannah Montana for you.
LRRH: Mom, I know Dad isn't that way!
Me: Yeah, well, still.....

THAT STORE IS DIFFERENT

LRRH: Mom that toy store is different than most stores. (It is a fabulous and fabulously overpriced specialty toy store near our home, but I like to support family owned businesses.)
Me: Why do you think it's different?
LRRH: Well, the people in there are different.
Me: What do you mean?
LRRH: Well, you know, they all speak English.

Bada Bing.

Kinda curious

2008-07-06T16:07:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking about something. There is one thing most of us don't talk about much here in the blogosphere and that is what we did or currently do for a living. Many of us stay at home with our kids, but I think many of you also work outside the home. I have "met" so many talented, creative, smart people in the blogosphere that I was wondering what many of you did before staying home with your kids or what you type of job you currently have. Some of you know my story. I have an accounting degree, am a CPA and worked in finance and accounting for many years at Marriott Headquarters (aka the Mothership because it sucks you in and won't let you out unless you...oops, if I revealed the secret, my friends who have been there for 20 plus years might leave. And they can't. The place will fall apart.) and a couple of high tech companies after that. After working for 15 years, I got married, had kids, and "retired " from my career. And if I can help it, I will never go back into accounting . Seriously. Never.

So do you mind sharing what you did prior to staying home with your kids? Or if you currently work, do you mind sharing what you do?

I'm nosey like that.

Update Monday, July 7, 6 :30 pm: Wow! I have been gone all day and am blown away with not only the number of responses but the variety of work experience everyone has. I never know how a post or question will go over, but I am humbled by your willingness to share. And, if you haven't read these comments, please do so now. They are fascinating. YOU ALL are fascinating! I mean that with all sincerity. Keep it coming.

Field trips, the Fourth and uh, I don't know what else

2008-07-04T00:01:00.001-04:00

Every week this summer, I plan on taking my kids on a field trip to places that are rich in history. Places where history is made daily. Places that I have been to a million times. Places that I haven't been to at all. Places that are destination spots for many of you. Places where I can be a tourist just a quick train/drive away. Yes, places that have been "in my backyard" for the last 31 years. So gang, here's the start of our summer adventure. Wanna come along? I'll try to liven it up. Ok, now get out your train money, because you need a metro fare card. I'm not driving into the city...uh uh... No way. No how. We'll try not to sit next to the smelly, loud guy on the train. And stop yer complaining! This will be good for you.

Our first field trip was this past Monday. We took a 360 degree tour from 500 feet over one of the most beautiful cities in the nation when went to the top of this:

The Washington Monument. The tallest building in the Nation's Capitol paying homage to the First President of the United States. My kids call it the "pencil tower." Ah, yeah, they learned alot. Let's just move on...

From the top of The Washington Monument, we were able to catch glimpses of and photograph as best we could:

"The Mall" leading up to "The Hill" where legisislation is introduced, fought over, changed, debated, filibustered, and eventually written as law.

The Jefferson Memorial, which is and always has been my favorite as it sits in the Tidal Basin, holding court among the spectacular bloom of cherry blossoms in the spring and whose architecture is breath taking. Not only can I say I have been there a million times, I can also say that it happens to be where The Man proposed to me 11 years ago this August. Yup, right on those steps...he knew it was my favorite place in the world....

The Lincoln Memorial, where you feel dwarfed both literally and figuratively while standing in awe of the majesty of this landmark and this man who ended the Civil War and abolished slavery in our country:

The Pentagon. Home to our nation's military leaders, the place my Dad called "The Office" for many years, and the target of satan's henchman the day they flew a plane into the side of it one clear blue September day. Yes, the same day, that my mother was on her way to work in DC and saw the low flying plane just about to descend into the Pentagon and then saw the ensuing fire it caused. Yes, her phone went dead. And yes, for about an hour, I was terrified as I watched the news unfold 20 miles from my house, knowing that my Mom was somewhere in the middle of that horror. But that's a story for another day.

And finally, the White House, which has housed every US President since John Adams. It was built after George Washington was President, so he never lived there. Do you know where George lived when he was President? Note to my local friends: zip it.

There you have it. Our first tour is over for now. Lets' get back on the train and head home. There are Fourth of July burgers and beers waiting for us.

Where do you want to go next?

Righty? Lefty? Oldest? Youngest?

2008-07-01T17:08:00.007-04:00

Every once in awhile I like to provide a little a peek inside my brain whether you want it or not. Believe me, it's scarey in there. Last time, I wondered out loud why we can eat breakfast food for dinner but not vice versa. Well, I can't, but apparently some of you can up to and including Olive Garden leftovers, which makes me want to....um...please excuse me for a moment....

So my latest thought was this: Ya know how they say women who work together, live together or hang out alot together end up on the same, ahem, cycle? Yeah well, I'm thinking the blogosphere isn't any different. I have "talked" via email to three other women this week who are eating alternating meals of french fries and M&M's like I've been. And did I mention I've been a bit crabby? Maybe even a teensy weensy more than crabby. And now I'm crampy. Aren't ya glad ya stopped by? So now I must segue to the conversation I had in my brain today while my kids were happily playing outside on our ginormous water slide (money well spent in case you were wondering...or not), and I was inside peeling potatoes, crabby, crampy, and all. Here goes:

Gee wonder what I should post about next. Oh I know. There is that one topic, but that will take more time than I have today to post. Or what about that other one? Nope, gotta wait until I get more material for it....la di da , dum dee dum, ... Is that Counting Crows I hear on the radio....hmmm, I wonder if Heather is right handed or left handed? I know I should know this, but is Lula the oldest or the youngest? Does she even have siblings? What about so and so....Hmmm, I wonder. Oh snigglefritz, I shoulda asked these questions in my "Getting to know you post last week." BING. You thinking what I'm thinking? Oh yeah, that's what I'm talkin 'bout...short post, short questions, requiring short answers for a short tempered lady.

And that my friends is how I came up with today's post.

And sadly,

No wine was involved.

So are you right handed or left handed?
What is your birth order, and how many siblings do you have?

I'll go first.

Crayons, marbles and baby teeth. Oh My!

2008-06-30T07:38:00.002-04:00

I did some cleaning this weekend. You know the kind where you go through your sock drawer and find an antenna, chopsticks, marbles, lollipops, markers, crayons, money, and the fart machine that your sister, I-kid-you-not, sent your kids for Christmas that does it's business at random times during the day or night if you don't turn it off leaving you cowering in the corner with your kids because you think some sadistic intruder has figured out how to scare the, well, poop, out of you. Oh yeah, been there done that. Had to call the husband to come home from a business dinner because I really thought someone was in the house trying to scare me with the fart machine. Once again, I digress. So among that group of weird things that only mothers with small kids that like to wander in and out of the master bedroom at-will leaving behind whatever is in their hand at that time, I found these:

Yup, a couple of my kids baby teeth. They were in individual snack size baggies, dated and placed there by The Man after the tooth fairy made her rounds because, although I birthed those kids, I am never touching those teeth. EVER. Oh don't worry your pretty little heads about how I got them out of those baggies to take this picture. I put on my surgical gloves and mask, and took the tweezers to them. Trust me, no bare hands were used in taking that picture. So when I found about six baggies of teeth (with various notes to the tooth fairy including one by my daughter pleading on behalf of her brother for the toothfairy to leave money even though hunka hunka swallowed his very first lost tooth ) in various places like the sock drawer, medicine cabinet, and first aid kit, I wondered what the heck I was going to do with these things. Do I keep them for their scrapbook that I haven't started yet? Or do I do what my mother-in-law did. Keep one in a baby food jar and send it to their spouses after they get married? (Hi. Mrs. N! If you're reading, I still love ya!) I gotta admit, it was a little tough looking at a tooth that was three decades old lying on a bed of, oh yeah, did I mention that bits of The Man's first haircut were sitting in the baby food jar as well. And I would have taken a picture of the jar, but, ummm, well....you know....

So now what? I am tad skeeved out about leaving these teeth around until my kids are grown. What do you do with your kids baby teeth?

Wall-E

2008-06-28T08:00:00.011-04:00

Since the princess was off at her drama/music camp yesterday, I took my little hunka-hunka-burnin-love on our own little adventure. Let's pause for a moment so I can show you a picture of said hunka-hunka...

Yes, ladies and man readers, we went to the very first showing of this:

And, I just want to tell how much I thoroughly and completed LOATHED it. Is there a stronger word than that for extreme dislike? Because I would use it. I absolutely HATED, hated, hated it. Oh I feel better saying that out loud. Honestly don't waste your money or your time. It's not even worth seeing for free. (The best part of the movie was seeing the previews for "I like to move it move it" Madagascar 2) You are really going to have to suspend disbelief for Wall-E. It is set 600 years into the future when earth is uninhabitable because it is covered in trash as a result of all our excess living vis a vis large warehouse type stores like Costco. (They had their own version in the movie) For the first 30 minutes, there isn't one bit of dialogue as you watch WALL-E the trash compactor single handedly build trash skyscrapers out of 12 by 12 cubes of garbage. Oh and you know how there is always a lovable side-kick in these movies? Well, this one was a cockroach, (can't wait to see the merchandising on that) that kept getting squished and coming back to life..hahahahaha...oh that's so cleverly unexpected now isn't it. Where are all the humans you ask? Apparently, we have all become morbidly obese and are living on a ginormous Love Boat type space ship floating around in chairs that have TV's, Ipods, phones, and large quantities of everything attached to them. I. kid.you.not. Wall-E falls in love with another robot and together they whisper sweet nothings Teletubbies style and do their little love dance to some Hello Dolly song that is played ad nauseum throughout the movie. Groan. Double groan. There is very little dialogue at all throughout the movie. Lots of special effects and star wars style lasering and loud noises and zapping and large space ships landing with...oh, it was just too stupid to describe. I spent 15 minutes watching it through my eyelids and the other hour and 15 composing a blog post in my head about how much I truly hated it.

Wall-E can stay in the Pixar trash heap. Bring me back Buzz Lightyear, Woody, Jessie, Nemo and my new absolute favorite "Enchanted." Patrick Dempsey aside, that movie is clever, sweet, and watchable as an adult over and over. At least to me it is.

So all you mamas who have had to watch many movies over and over and over and over and over again until you wanted to make it somehow disappear as in --wink wink--"kids, I'm not sure where that DVD went" what are the kids movies that you can still watch?

PS. I did my own little focus group after the movie asking a group of kids 9, 10 and 11 years old what they thought of the movie. They said they didn't like it at all because "there wasn't any talking." My 5 year old son, well, he just liked the little guy Wall-E. The rest of it was too esoteric for him. Heck, it was too esoteric for me.

P.P.S. If you do go, please come back and tell me what you think.

Ok, resume commenting about your favorite kids movies.

The Hangover

2008-06-26T09:47:00.008-04:00

OOOOOHHHHH my eyes are burning. The place is a mess. There are so many dishes to do. And, someone ran off with my artichoke dip. But, all I can say is that the party was a blast. The last guest stayed until the wee hours of the morning. And, who was that hanging from the chandelier? Thanks for all the "gifts" you left. I wasn't really able to mingle with my guests until last night because I was actually being a Mom yesterday. But, when I walked in the door at 7 pm last night, my husband told me that I had hit over 100 comments on one of my posts. Whoa. Whose blog hit over a 100 comments? So what does any good mother do? Gets her kids bathed and in bed lickety-split while the sun is still shining brightly through the blinds in their room so she can get a fix, if you know what I mean. I didn't even get a glass of wine, and I was already up to my eye balls in diet coke with lemon for the day, so I just sat down and read through every single comment and laughed alot. Oh my word, the crazy solicitor stories you all had were great. Also, I was gleeful in knowing that some of you are headed to the "Name Cemetery" with me. I still think I have the biggest headstone, though. For all of you with the "pretty and popular names," can you at least pretend to like the rest of us and come visit when you are done with cheerleading practice? Oh , oh, and I love how all of you tried to make me feel better about my ditzy moments by telling me it was really because us Mom's left all our brain cells in the labor and delivery room. How great is it that we can make each other feel better by blaming the ones who actually gave us the name, "Mom."

What got me a little choked up was all the really, truly nice compliments both here and over on the SITS site. It was truly humbling. And from where I sit, all my new laptop friends are funny, intelligent gals. My kind of gals. The kind of gals I like to hang out with. So, I hope you didn't just stop by for a free meal, a glass of wine and a couple of laughs. Wait, I feel a song coming on...you know the one...Troy and Vanessa...High School Musical..."This could be the start of something new, feels so right to be here with you... yeah yeah yeah...blah blah blah...

Now what? Sigh. Today is really like the day after Christmas...the let down from all the excitement and back to reality. However, my life as a blogger is complete. I can only hope to see that kind of traffic again someday. Until then, I have lots of blogs to check out so that I can hand deliver my "thank you" notes. It may take me awhile, but rest assured, I will visit each and every one of you that came to my party yesterday and left a gift.

Oh, and one last thing, I think one of you left something behind. I found it in the powder room.

That's one "gift" I wish the rightful owner had kept for herself.

Company's coming!

2008-06-25T00:01:00.009-04:00

Okay gang. I want everyone on their best behavior today. We have some new guests arriving any minute. Some of them are new to my neck of the woods, and I really want to leave a good first impression. As you know, I did some re-decorating on the sidebar last week to clear the clutter for them. Today, I did some tidying up and prepared some refreshments. I hope they like diet coke with lemon as much as I do. If not, I do have my next favorite drink, Perrier, stocked in the wine fridge. Oh yes, we will be serving wine for the early evening and evening guests. And, if they prefer beer, soda, or lemonade, well, that is ice cold and waiting for them, too. As for food, I have prepared some hummus and pita wedges, an artichoke dip in a bread bowl, and a platter of brie and gouda with crackers. I've also decided to have a sit down dinner which will include regency beef tenderloin, out-of-this-world-scalloped potatoes (both from Southern Living) and blue cheese walnut spinach salad (from Rachael Ray). Molten chocolate lava cakes will be served for dessert courtesy of Southern Living as well. I want everyone to meet and greet the new guests with all the graciousness you have extended me since landing on my little slice of the blogosphere. Oh, gee, I wonder if I have time to go get a new outfit and shoes. Probably not. At least I got my hair restored to its natural color a couple of weeks ago. And, I've been moisturizing.

Ok girls, go pretty up because all the Saucy SITStas will be arriving any minute.

Oh, oh, and one last thing, don't forget to sign the guest book.

PS. I forgot to let you know which rooms my guests will be visiting for the day. Please be sure to mingle in and around them at your leisure.

No More Freakin' Solicitors, Please!
The Name Cemetery
If You Can't Laugh At Yourself

No More Freakin Solicitors, Please!

2008-06-22T23:39:00.004-04:00

The following is a true story. The pictures are dramatizations of actual events. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent because I want them gone.

Hey! You! You, in the white car, stop looking in my window and banging on my door not once, not twice, not three times, not four times, not five times, but SIX times in the last 24 hours!

And what's the big idea ringing the doorbell at nine o'freakin clock tonight? What is wrong with you? I don't want what you're selling (unless you're Ed McMahon here to tell me I won the million dollar publisher's clearing house sweepstakes. Oh wait, Ed McMahon is the one that needs the million dollars now that he is b-r-o-k-e. Hmmm, where did all that Johnny Carson money go? And most of you have no idea who Johnny Carson is or that Ed McMahon was his sidekick do you? Sigh.) Hey, Mr. Solicitor with the white car, don't you know it is unwise and unsafe for a woman home alone with small children to open the door to strangers? I don't care if you are from the volunteer fire department. I don't know you. Ergo, you are a stranger. So go away. Leave us alone.

And while I'm at it: To all the other solicitors, I wanna tell you something. I've had it with every stinkin one of you freaks. Don't come to my door anymore pitching your sob story that they undoubtedly coached you up for at magazine subscription selling school about how you want to live in a house like mine one day so would I please buy 55 magazines that I don't need to make your dream come true. Because the next time you come here giving me that sob story about how you want to live in my neighborhood, I'll tell you to do what my husband and I did. Stay out of trouble. Go to school and stay there. Study and get good grades. Find a real job and bust your tootie tot for yourself instead of pimping out your magazine selling services while 8 months pregnant (oh yes she was) in the cold rain for the guy sitting in the van at the end of the street. Oh, oh, and don't you dare tell me that "Mrs. Jones up the street, she bought umm, like 12 subscriptions. She's so nice." Well, umm goodie goodie for her. That's alot of recycling.

And since I'm on a roll: To the future solicitors of America: Unless you are a student, and I know your mother, and you are selling something for a school or organization that I am aware of, and how do you like my really long run on sentence, Go away. Run along. Mama doesn't want any. Oh, what's that? You've heard I was a sucker because I've bought discount cards to restaurants in different states, coupons for bowling alleys and golf courses two counties over, popcorn I'll never eat (oh wait, I did eat that), raffle tickets for things I've never won, enough wrapping paper for the next decade (well, I actually like that, and I bought it from my daughter. So it doesn't count), signed contracts for exterminating services not once but twice, bought tickets to baseball games that I couldn't attend, and yes, subscribed to those blankety blank magazines that I barely have time to read. Well, yeah I've had a hard time saying no to someone asking me to buy something while I'm looking right at them. Oh, and about the trio of very aggressive Jehovah Witnesses that pulled up in their car and blocked my driveway one day while I was out gardening (I don't make up this stuff) and tried to convert me even after I told them repeatedly that I was a born again Christian, that Jesus was my savior, that HE is the truth, that the Bible is the Living Word of God but they kept coming back and coming back and coming back, each time blocking my driveway, well, I was just too nice (scared actually) to tell them to get off my property.

Dagnabit, I've had it. It all ends today. Right now. There's a new lady of the house, and I cannot be held responsible for what she might do.

Don't you dare think about knocking on my door or peeking in my window to try and sell me something because, repeat after me, I don't want what you're selling. Period. End of story. Buh bye. Run along before I learn how to use this thing.

Getting to Know You

2008-06-19T07:56:00.000-04:00

Isn't there some annoying song called "getting to know you, getting to know more about you." Don't worry, I won't sing it. But, I do have a little game that, I want y'all to play. I've got some quick questions that require quick answers that tell us alot about each other. What? You don't want to play? Please, pretty please? I'll go first.

(Diet) Coke or (Diet) Pepsi?
French Fries or Cookies?
Big parties or small gatherings?
Chocolate or Vanilla?
Beach or Mountains?
Thanksgiving or Christmas ?
Like sports or "That's so boring"?
Nickname?
Favorite Color?
Birthday?
See the comment section for my answers. And, I hope to see yours there as well ;)

Mommy Blogging - Being Content

2008-06-17T12:53:00.004-04:00

I realized yesterday that I didn't mean to tickle this post with an appearance of the Green Eyed Monster, because he is mean, spiteful, and jealous. Honestly, I have yet to encounter that in the blogosphere. What I really wanted to address is one of the dangers of blogging: comparing yourself to others and becoming discontent. So, go get your diet coke with lemon. You'll need the caffeine to stay awake. This is gonna be long.

Have you ever clicked on someone's blog and left thinking, wow, I wish I could write like that or I wish I had that kind of insight, or I wish I could be as deep thinking as that, or I wish I was that creative or I wish I was that kind of mother, or I wish I had that kind of family or I wish I could cook like that, or I wish that I could pull out Bible verses like that, or I wish I was really that selfless, or I wish that I had that kind of blog design, or I wish I had that many readers, or I wish I had that many comments, or I wish, I wish, I wish? Or have you fallen into the trap, as I have sometimes, of believing that everyone else is the perfect mother, perfect cook, perfect wife, or perfect whatever? Then I wonder if she yells at her kids like I sometimes do. Or I wonder if her kids are watching TV right now like my son is while I crank this out. When you are done reading those blogs, are you left feeling unworthy, discouraged or discontent? Be honest! Because I have been there, done that. And everytime that it's happened, I have wanted to quit blogging. Why? Because I felt like I wasn't good enough, smart enough, witty enough, or had enough to offer for anyone to keep coming back. And I began to question why I was even "wasting" my time doing this.

Then I realized what was happening.

Stupid satan was whispering his stupid lies to me, and I was falling for it hook line and sinker.

Thoughts that I'm not creative enough, spiritual enough, or good enough started to creep in. Maybe I should be more spiritual in my posts, maybe I should take better pictures, maybe I should do this, maybe I should do that. Maybe I'm boring. Maybe this is a waste of time. Maybe I don't have anything that good to offer. Maybe I should quit. Wow, was reading other blogs starting to affect how I felt about myself as a Christian, a mother, a wife, and a person ? Well, yeah, it kind of was. Whoa. Timeout, Debbie. Take a deep breath. You know what you need to do.

Drop it off at the feet of the Lord, and pray about it. And that's what I did.

My prayer was, "Lord do you want me to keep at this blogging thing, because I'm really not as spiritually articulate as so and so, and I'm not as eloquent as so and so, and I'm not as creative as so and so, and I'm not as smart as so and so"(and my blog isn't as pretty, oh wait, yes it is because I have a fairy blogmother ;) "Is this blogging thing okay with you, Lord? Is it something you want me to continue doing? And more importantly, please stop me now if it isn't edifying to you because I don't want this to be a place that I would be embarassed to take you."

That simple little prayer turned into a great big answer later that day. Yup. My sitemeter blazed to the most hits I had received to date. I don't even remember what post it was. I just know it blazed all day. Yet again, that great big God of ours showed me that what I thought was a silly request about a silly hobby wasn't silly at all. He does care about the little things I care about, and he does want to bless me in this. But most importantly, it was a reminder that I can't fall into the trap of feeling badly because I'm not more like so and so. That is offensive to Him because he made me exactly who I am as spelled out in this blog, and I don't know how to be anyone else other than that. If I pretended to be otherwise, I would be a phony. That spike in my sitemeter was His way of encouraging me to continue in the direction that I was going as a simple blogger out to have good, clean, silly fun. What you see is what you get, and I am this way in real life. As a result, I can honestly say, I am now "blogger content."

Now about you. I have clicked on a couple of blogs over the last few months that are wistful about who they are as bloggers and are suffering from the "I-wish-I-was-more-like-so-and-so" disease. Or "no one likes me because I don't have any comments." Please don't do that to yourself. It will rob you of your joy. Let me assure you that each and every one of you has something to offer. Keep blogging for the creativity, for the therapy, for the connection, for whatever. Don't stop because that last blog you read had 5 jillion comments, and you have one. I blogged for a year with almost no comments or readers on over 300 posts. Find a way to be content with who you are. You'll find your audience because there is an audience for every blog. Sign up for SITS. Heather and Tiffany found a brilliant way to connect like minded bloggers with each other. When you are the featured blogger, you will be queen for the day, and I promise that more than a few people will be inspired by what you've written, by who you are and will want to come back. It's a slow and steady build sometimes. Just don't get discouraged...stay true to who you are.

My takeaway from this part of my blogging journey is that I have to be content in who I am as a blogger, just as I have to be and am content with who I am in my life, so that blogging remains fun for me. The Lord helped me turn my feelings of inadequacy into a deeper appreciation of your spiritual, personal, and creative gifts as I've continued to read your words. And, I will rest in knowing that the Lord sent me your way to show me something He wants me to learn, or to laugh about, or to think about, or to be convicted of, or to shake my head at in awe, or to encourage you in words as prompted by Him as so many of you have done for me. Afterall, isn't that connection and encouragement the point?

Oh, and one last thing, remember that behind every blog you read, there is a human who is an imperfect being with an imperfect life. And guess what, she probably yells at her kids and eats Froot Loops for dinner.

Mommy Blogging - Time to get caught up

2008-06-15T19:41:00.008-04:00

Betcha thought I was done with my Mommy Blogging series, huh? Nope. I have a couple more things to address before I close out that issue. If you are new here, I started a series a couple of weeks ago in honor of my, gulp, 400th post. I have woven my way through:

*why and how I got started,

*my process of going through a literal and figurative blog facelift (I started with a different title, a different look and a different purpose)

*how blogging relationships fascinate me and how birds of a feather blog together

*the importance of comments and lurkers

*how this "hobby" can become addictive if we aren't careful.

Whadja say? You missed all that? Well, would you look a that. I've linked all my past posts below. Here's your chance to get caught up. Put the kids to bed, get hubby comfy in front of some Man TV like Deadliest Catch (that's what my husband does when I am busy scrawling out this nonsense) get a snack, a glass of wine, or a diet coke with lemon, or a glass of water, or an alka seltzer, or a pepto bismol or whatever and get caught up. Then come back so that we can talk about blogging and the BIG OLE Green Eyed Monster. I'll be waiting. Now run along...

Mommy Blogging - How I Got Started

Mommy Blogging - A Complete Facelift

Mommy Blogging- Birds of a Feather

Mommy Blogging - Comments and the "L" Word

Mommy Blogging - Do I need a 12 Step Program?

You've been invited to.....

2008-06-13T09:55:00.001-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, I read with great interest in the local section of our newspaper that despite rising gas prices, increased unemployment, declining home prices, and overall concern about the health of our economy, that there is one thing in the county that I live in that has not declined and yes, is in fact thriving and on the rise. And, it's not charitable giving. Oh no. This is so far from philanthropic. Do you know what it is? I'll give you a hint in the way of re-telling a story that happened to me on my birthday last fall:

And this, my friends, is a true story:

I dropped The Prince off at school school one day last October, and the minute he walked into the class he announced to everyone that today was his Mommy's birthday. When you are turning 4 it is a big deal...when you are turning 44, not so much. One of the mom's who I'm acquainted with immediately said "Happy Birthday" and gave me a hug. We then left the class, walked outside and she stopped me, looked left, then looked right as if to make sure no one was around or was listening and asked:

"Would you be interested in..."

(at this point I'm thinking she is going to ask about a play date, lunch, etc.)

Nope. She says "BOTOX?"

I'll repeat that for you, "Would you be interested in BOTOX?"

I was about to bust out laughing because she was dead serious, and my first thought was, really, who wants to hear that on the day they are officially in their mid forties, and secondly, I know I have laugh lines, but I don't think I am at the point of needing injections of artificial-I-don't-know-what yet.

At this point, I'm trying so hard not to laugh because I don't think she grasped the irony of asking me that on my birthday. So here's the conversation I had in my head: "Sad thoughts, think sad thoughts so you don't laugh, think sad thoughts so you don't laugh. Ohmygosh, Ohmygosh, I cannot believe she just asked me that." Still looking to her left and then to her right to make sure no one else was around and listening, she told me that she was having a BOTOX party at her house on Sunday! (You know Sunday morning, when I am usually being fed and taught the word of God.) And then as if she felt I needed more convincing, she told me it is "all the rage in L.A. according to the E! channel." Oh, she doesn't know me at all. That is so not a convincing argument for me. And what made her think I care about that stuff anyway? I don't. I mean I really don't. Then of course, because I can't control myself said,

"What are you gonna just shoot up right there in your living room? "

Yup, right there in her living room with the plastic surgeon kind-of-ex-boyfriend of her best friend. EX-BOYFRIEND? EX-BOYRFRIEND? You're kidding right. I can see the headline now:

"Plastic surgeon ex-boyfriend seeks revenge on ex-girlfriend by injecting five suburban housewives with diet coke and lemon at Botox party held in the suburbs. "

Still not being able to control myself, I ask "Is he a real plastic surgeon? "

She was adamant that "Oh yeah, oh yeah he's a doctor, board certified and everything."

It sounded like the whole thing was on the down-low because, don't you need things to be clean and sterile with one of those hospital beds and tools? And, it's kind of weird to think you can be snuggling up reading "Thomas the Tank Engine" with your kids on the couch one minute and getting injections of a little something something in the very same spot hours later. Kinda creepy if you ask me.

Then I kind of laughed and told her I wasn't into any of that as it just wasn't for me, but thanks for the offer anyway. (I think) Then she told me not to say anything to anyone. And, I didn't. Well, except to you all. But, you live in my laptop so that doesn't count. Right?

Ah yes friends, Botox parties and in-and-out boobie jobs are thriving here in my neck of the woods according to that article in the paper. I've been to Southern Living, Pampered Chef, Tupperware, Creative Memories and Silpada jewelry parties, but a BOTOX party is a whole other level of, of, of , I don't know what. For me personally, I'll just age the way I'm supposed to, well, with a teeny weeny, oh let's face it, ALOT of help from my color lady every 6-7 weeks.

So would you, wouldn't you, have you or "I'm not telling you"?

Getting a Fix

2008-06-11T13:01:00.009-04:00

This is how one woman's blog addiction was exposed. The names have been changed to protect the innocent; however, I do have her permission to tell this story. Although she doesn't have a blog of her own, she reads them and knows what's blogworthy. Even she admits this is oh so good. Let us commence, shall we:

Me: Last Wednesday, I write my post about blogging addiction.

Friend in real life otherwise known as Mrs. Friend IRL: Leaves a comment at 10:38 a.m.

Me: I pickup The Princess at school on that afternoon and notice her teacher isn't there at the door to release the class as she usually does.

Me to The Princess: "Did you have a substitute today?"

The Princess: "Yes, Mrs. Friend IRL subbed today."

Me to The Princess: "Oh, was she there for just the afternoon?" knowing in the back of my head that she'd left a comment that very morning.

The Princess replies: "No, she was there all day."

Me: In my head...doing the math...comment at 10:30ish...oh you know where I'm headed with this one...

Me to The Princess: "What did you have for specials this morning?"

The Princess: "PE at 10:30."

Me in my head: Ohmygosh, ohmygosh Mrs. Friend IRL got a blogging fix during a break at school. Bahhahahhaaha. That.is.hilarious.

Me to Mrs. Friend IRL via email: What were you doing reading my blog while you were supposed to be edumakating The Princess? BAHAHAHAHHA BAHHAHHAHAHHAHA. I wouldn't have known otherwise if you hadn't left the comment when you did. BAHAHAHAHA

Phone rings at my house.

Mrs. Friend IRL: "I can't believe you busted me."

Oh yes I did, and the irony of it happening on a post about bloggers addiction was brilliant.

I'm still laughing, and so is she. I think.

Whatta move!

2008-06-10T00:01:00.004-04:00

Whew, this has been a tough move. Picking up and leaving behind your beloved old blogspot is a not for the weak of heart. First you have to make the decision that is best for your family. Do you stay in the small town with your last name on the mailbox, where everyone knows all your bidness and drops in whenever or do you move to the gated community where you need a password to gain access thereby controlling who visits you? I didn't want to go to the gated community nor did I ever consider it, so I opted for something in-between. I dropped the name on my mailbox and moved to "the blogger burbs." A place where you can stay anonymous for the most part but still hang with your homies. After making the decision, I had to find a new place in the blogger burbs and hope that there wasn't someone living in it. That proved to be a tad difficult. I tried to move to "thisisthelife.blogspot.com" but some pimply faced, squeaky voiced (well I'm not certain, but I am imagining he is) teenage boy owns it. He appears to have only lived there briefly. This is what he left behind: And I quote (well, actually, copied and pasted):

...Well, today I signed up for blogger. I got tired of diaryland so fast, and scribble got boring. So, we're gonna try this for a while. Hope it all works out. I havent wrote in my online journals in a long time. School started a few days ago. It's ok. I hate my italian teacher though. Yuck. Atleast me and Chris are in the same class. Chris is my good buddy. What a man, what a man, what a mighty strong man. I'm tired. "The sea is foamin' like a bottle of beer. The wave is comin but I ain't gonna fear. I'm waxin' down so that I'll go real fast. I'm waxin' down because it's really a blast. I'm goin' surfin cuz I don't like your face. I'm bailin' out because I hate the race of rats that run round and round in the maze. I'm goin' surfin', I'm goin' surfin'!" - Weezer

That's deep stuff folks. To answer him, it looks like blogger didn't work out for him because he "havent wrote" or posted in almost EIGHT YEARS. It's been so long that that his friend Chris who he claims is "a great man" was probably his "best man" and now has kids of his own quoting Weezer. Give it up already, will ya, whatever your name is. I wanted to put in an offer to take it off his hands, but it appears he hasn't lived there since September 2000. And it looks like he only lived there for, ummm let's see, one stinkin' day. Eight years ago! I asked Blogger to evict him, but they couldn't. Nope. Can't do it until he decides to relinquish it. So irritating. After that, I had to check with the real estate agent for another address and happened upon this really neat place called "thisisthelife-dmn.blogspot.com." I "settled" last Friday. And since you are reading this, that means you received the "change of address" notice. It appears that many of my "old friends" and even some "new friends" have found me. That was the one thing I was worried about. But leaving a forwarding address at the old "spot" seems to have worked so far. I have had lots of visitors stop by today for a diet coke with lemon and say "Hi." Well, no one has really said "Hi." They've just done drive byes. (Is that how you spell it?) A couple of people have stopped by the old place only to find it vacant. I did leave the electricity on so that I could see how much usage there is, but I gotta admit it's a little lonely over there right now.

Now that I've moved in, you'll have to pardon the dust. I am doing a little re-decorating. I like things tidy and pulled together and that sidebar has been bugging me. So I contacted my fairy blogmother, Darcy, who squeezed me in between jobs, (shhhh, don't tell) and is designing me some fantastic new closet space for all the ~~crap~~ lovely things that are stored over there. I have to do some purging, but it will look so purdee when it's done. That fairy blogmother of mine really does make dreams come true.

So it's time to update your address books, your blackberries, your strawberries, your whatever-berries you use to link your bloggy friends with my new address. What's that you say? You've never linked me? Well what are you waiting for? I'll link you...if you just tell me who you are!

CHANGE IN BLOGSPOT ADDRESS

2008-06-06T23:50:00.009-04:00

Hi all,

In an effort to unwind some of the personal information I have out there in this great big blogosphere, I am changing my blogspot address to the following effectively immediately:

http://thisisthelife-dmn.blogspot.com/

Please update your blog rolls, links, and/or your readers if you have me on one.

It's best this way. Now I need to go through old posts and change my kids names....You know to something catchy like "The Prince" and "The Princess." Not sure what I will call my husband. Maybe "The Man"....Whaddya think?

"Smelly cat pits, Smelly cat pits."

2008-06-06T22:03:00.022-04:00

Apparently the stinky stank of the fifth grade boys at the elementary school my daughter attends has become too much for the teachers to bear. How do I know this? Well, this week, they distributed deodorant to all the fifth grade boys and encouraged, instructed, implored, oh, who are we kidding, begged them to apply it every stinkin' (No pun intended. Well, maybe pun was intended, but how could I resist ;) morning before coming to school.

I don't make up this stuff, people.

Thanks for all your help.

2008-06-06T08:30:00.000-04:00

Trish didn't win. But thanks for everyone's help!

I AM LITERALLY BEGGING EVERY PERSON THAT CLICKS ON MY BLOG BETWEEN NOW AND 12 PM EASTERN TIME TO VOTE FOR OUR FELLOW BLOGGY FRIEND TRISH. OVER NIGHT HER BIGGEST COMPETITOR PULLED DOWN A BUNCH OF VOTES. If you have voted, Thank you Thank you Thank you. IF you haven't, I am begging, I mean begging you to click on the link below. I promise to update my blog once this contest is over...until then, go VOTE!

One of my favorite bloggy friends, Trish, entered a photo contest last week for her family to win a Wii. Guess what? She is a finalist!! Check out this picture of her son:
I am trying to get everyone I know to vote for her. Well, I don't really know you but you are a captive audience right now. So click here, scroll down to the voting bubbles and click on "It's My Crazy Life."
I really really really want her to win.

Then come back and read my post about needing a 12 step program ;)

Blogging Interrupted

2008-06-06T06:31:00.011-04:00

It has happened. My life has gotten in the way of blogging this week. Have painters here. They painted half the house. I hated the color. Started shaking. Started panicking. Started to cry a little. Started to panic more. I have 20 foot walls in my foyer and family room. This is a big deal. This is gonna cost me. Called my husband. "It's ok, sweetie." Thank you Lord for a husband who loves me no matter what. Started going through the color samples again. Started painting large swatches all over my walls. Got so desperate that I was asking the painters for advice. Not such a good idea. But they assure me all is ok. Picked new color. Bought more paint. Helped daughter with school project. Painters are coming back today. Also, I am watching my neighbor's wee ones in the midst of this, but that is a good thing because my son has been bored out of his mind with this paint fiasco I have been consumed with. Now he has someone to play with today. This weekend is a soccer tournament and party. It is going to be one million degrees. Poor girls. Poor me. Gotta go get my daughter ready for school, now. Sorry I am talking like a robot. I will resume my Mommy Blogging journey soon. I need a diet coke with lemon.

Meanwhile, go vote below. Trish is in the lead, but I want to keep it that way.

Mommy Blogging- Do I need a 12 step program?

2008-06-04T10:07:00.000-04:00

When do you “it”?

Ha…how many of you went “there?” I mean when do you blog?

I do it whenever I can and not feel guilty which is usually when the kids are at school, but oh wait, I do feel guilty because that is when I should be doing something else like laundry or cleaning the house or one of my million house projects or running errands so that I don’t have to take away time from them when they get home from school. BUT, now that my son is out of pre-school, my mornings have been spent playing Trouble, Monopoly Junior and hitting all the parks in the neighborhood. I have tried to sneak a peak or two while he gets his morning dose of Little Einsteins and Higglytown Heroes...or just before I pick up my daughter from school or whenever I am on my way out of the bathroom. And in two weeks, when my daughter is out of school, blogging in the morning may not even exist. Oh wait, I might have to work that into our morning routine. Recently, because I don’t really watch TV, I have been blogging in the evening or late into the evening, or into the early morning which causes me to be tired and grumpy and ready for a Red Bull at 9 am because a diet coke with lemon just won’t hack it. So if I wrote a comment that you couldn't quite understand, you now know why.

Where do I blog? Well, would you look at that, I have a picture of it:

However, I have been known to bring the laptop into the kitchen or up to our bedroom. But that doesn't happen very often.

How do I blog? In my mind ALL.DAY.LONG.

Since I started blogging, it seems like I look through everything with blogger's lens. I'm always looking for that next great blogworthy moment. I look at any situation or event or you name it with three thoughts in mind:

Is this good enough write about? Yes. No. Maybe.
Can I make it funny? Usually.
Can I take a picture or find a picture? Pretty much always.

But then here's the reality: Everything ends up good enough to write about, like the day I fell into the toilet when the seat was left up. Everything can be made funny, you know like how my first name has one foot in the Name Cemetery and is ready for burial with all your grandmother's names. And everything can be brought to life with a picture from a camera, you know like the day I left those leftovers out, or put the Cheerios in the fridge. Yeah my bloggers lens is always on, always looking and never descriminating. That is why I can tell you about the crack in the potty seat or laugh at myself when someone called me a "Grandma" or admit that I accidentally stopped my neighbor's mail. Oh, and if you are new over here in my slice of the blog world, I have a diet coke addiction that has caused me to do some, well, blogworthy things ;)

Speaking of addictions......

Hi, my name is Debbie and I, uh, mmm, let's see....oh I'm not going there....

How many of you wake up wondering if anyone left you a comment over night? How many of you log on first thing in the morning to check and see if anyone left you a comment over night? How many of you sneak visits to your "laptop friends" during the day when you’ve told the kids that you were done? Do you say something like “I need to check email” or “I need to check the bank balance online” or “I need to IM Daddy to find out when he is coming home.” Or how many of you have let your kids watch one extra TV show because you had to type that one last thing? How many of you have skipped doing laundry or chores to do your "morning rounds?" How many of you consider your "laptop friends" to be real friends?

Raise your hand if you are trying to cut back. Raise your hand if you can't. Raise your hand if you don't want to. Raise your hand if you are looking for a twelve step program. Raise your hand if you don't think you need one. Guess what? We probably do.

When, Where, How, and Are you addicted?

The Secret is in the Sauce

2008-06-02T20:50:00.004-04:00

Not spaghetti sauce, not chocolate sauce. It's, uh, wait, I'm not sure what kind of sauce it is, but it is brilliant and oh so, tasty. Two of my favorite bloggy friends, Heather and Tiffany are the brain children behind a new blog called "The Secret is the Sauce." Self-proclaimed "Comment Junkies, " they developed the site as a way to help drive traffic and increase comments to blogs that want to participate. Each day, a new blog will be featured and links will be given to three of the best posts as selected by the author. This is a great way to see new blogs, but most of all it is a fabulous way to get your blog exposed to new readers. It is also a way to encourage and to support your fellow Mommy bloggers by leaving them one of those Christmas present comments I talked about earlier today ;) Right now, they are holding a contest if you decide to participate. The prizes include a blog makeover and a digital camera among others. This is a win win for everyone. Ewww, did I really just say that because I haven't said that since I left the corporate world. If you want to participate, click on this little bit o bling, and check it out.

Mommy Blogging- "Commenting and the "L" word"

2008-06-02T00:01:00.015-04:00

Ok, so, I promised to tell you what happened as a result of a comment. But, you'll have to wait just a tad bit longer for that.

Because we need to talk.

About comments.

And about L ... L ...L ...ugh, I can't get the word out of my keyboard ...L ...lurking. There I said it. Now I need a shower.

As a result of making "friends in my laptop" and the whole spider web thing that happens in blogging, I have been extremely taken aback by the increased traffic I have enjoyed over the last few months. I am not an attention seeker, and I don’t have the desire to be the most clicked on site on the planet. I enjoy having a following of people who like to interact by sitting down behind their computer with their beverage of choice, clicking over for a visit and letting me know they were here and vice versa. I'm not gonna lie girls! Who doesn’t love comments. They are like little presents left behind by the blogger gremlins. There is nothing more disappointing than taking two hours to type, edit, re-type, edit, re-type and publish a post only to receive no feedback especially when you know someone is there. I don't care if you hate what I said, or agree with what I said or tell me as one commenter did that she didn’t think she liked me because she thought I seemed “too perfect, too smart, and too funny,” (although I have to admit that one stung for a couple of days) I still like feedback. I always try to read the blogs of those people who take the time to read and comment on what I've written. Whenever I visit a blog, I almost always leave a comment whether or not I ever go back. Give your fellow bloggers some love will ya. If you are a blogger and complain about not getting enough comments well then let me remind you of the unwritten blogger promise. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about, but you just won’t admit it: It’s the “I'll comment on yours if you comment on mine,” blogger promise. (I told ya I was going to talk about things we think about but won't admit.) But you know what, you really need to have that exchange if you are in it to build relationships. If you are in it for glory or comment stock piling or to become the blogarina of the decade, then you will be insincere in your commenting and people like me will sniff it out and never return the favor. I can't stand phonies with transparent motives.

Having said all that, my discussion of Mommy blogging wouldn’t be complete without acknowledging my bloggy friends who read what I have to say but never leave a comment. I am not going to use the “L” word because we all know that it gives me the creeps. But, I just want you to know that I know you are there, and I appreciate your “repeat” business. My favorite stat on my statcounter is “Multiple visits spread over more than one day” next to the IP address. (Don’t worry, I have no idea who anyone is and can’t track you down). But, seeing that always makes me smile. I’d rather have less traffic and repeat "bidness" than lots of “one and dones.” Because if you come back, then it means I'm doing something right, and I do appreciate every click I get, even the silent ones.

Now, let me tell you what happened as the result of a comment....

Last week, I left a comment on someone else's blog about the middle school I attended in San Antonio, Texas and the high school I would have attended had we not moved the summer before ninth grade. Shanan from All My Kids 123 saw the comment, clicked over to my blog, left me a comment that she went to that same middle school and high school around the same time. We exchanged emails, and as it turns out, she went to elementary school with my younger brother, hung out with my NEXT door neighbor, dated one of my brother's best friends in high school and is still close friends with his two other best buddy's from back in the day. Oh yeah, let's queue it up girls: "It's a small world after all. " Yes, six degrees of separation exists even in the blogosphere. But you'll never know unless you put yourself out there. And if you don't, that's ok, too.

Because I have been heavy on words and light on pics for the last few days, I decided to tag on a little show and tell to this post. My new bloggy friend Shanan (All my Kids 123) posted about this cool giraffe print purse she bought new on Ebay which I drooled over and decided I must have since it wasn't very expensive. This one is similar to hers, not exact, because I decided that would be kind of weird. So $24.99-and-a-$5.00-off-shipping-coupon-later, I ordered one up and it will be arriving in the next week. Love it. And the moral of the story is that I got this cute little number all because of a comment she left that sent me to her blog!

Next Mommy Blogging topic: When, where, how, and do I need a 12 step program yet?

Meanwhile, do you have any fun stories about comments left on your blog?

Mommy Blogging - Birds of a Feather

2008-05-30T17:48:00.008-04:00

If you are just joining us, I am weaving my way through my journey over the last 15 months as a Mommy blogger. This is my third installment...

So two posts ago, I left you with serendipity making an appearance. Who the? What the? Trust me, you'll understand.

When I began blogging, I was looking to tell my story, in my words, and in my way without censorship, eyerolls, or judgment. You may still do that, but I can’t see you. So we can still be friends. And, maybe, just maybe, I could provide with a laugh or two. But what happened along the way was that I have become fascinated with your words and your lives. Over the last few months that I've started reading other blogs, I have been amazed and awed and inspired by all the talented, smart, creative women I have “met” in the blogosphere.

And this is what has gobsmacked me in the face, or more appropriately, in the heart:

I have grown to genuinely care and appreciate your uniqueness and your talents and who you are as people behind those words. Whoa. Kinda weird. Hello, you live in my laptop... not supposed to care.

But, I do.

I admire how so many of you have been transparent with struggles ranging from stress, marital problems, infertility, depression, illness, loss of a child, loss of a sibling, etc. You are the world at large. Only you are pouring out your hearts to strangers and blessing so many other women who may read your words while living with the same struggles and realize they. aren’t. alone. That's it in a nutshell. We aren’t alone. I can’t tell you how many times, I’ve read something one of you has written and said, "Oh my gosh, I feel the same way.” Who knew. You are women that I have been praying for even though I have never ever heard you utter a word or wouldn’t know you if we cut each other off in traffic. I find myself thinking about you during the day just as I do my real life friends. As a matter of fact, this is how one such instance played out for me this week:

Me: Standing at the kitchen island cooking thinking, hmm, I still want to paint this island so that it looks like furniture. Gee, I wonder if Sissy has posted the pictures of her kitchen island fauz glaze project. Gee, I wonder if "Sissy" is her real name? I'll just let this simmer a minute while I go check, about the project that is. Run over to the study. Click on her blog. Voila there it is. Read, comment, and then resume cooking. C-RAZY.

Then I had a good chuckle because this is someone whose life and heart I probably know better than probably most of my closest friends right now and vice versa. Why? Because we are apt to be more forthcoming and transparent behind the screen of a computer than we are face to face. Even with strangers. Especially with strangers. How freakin weird is that.

I have also realized something else this week. Something so obvious:

Birds of a feather flock together even in the blogosphere.

Think about it. Don’t you consistently read the blogs of people you would be friends with in real life? Whether it is someone’s sense of humor, or beliefs/values, or interests, or stage in life, or other non-descript quirk that I can relate to, I can say unequivocally that I feel connected to the women behind the words that I make a point of reading during my “morning rounds.” I can tell you that each of you are like one or more of my real life friends. The only difference is that you read my blog! And after reading all your comments, I'm am not alone in that area...more about that in my next installment.

I've noticed something else. I don’t gravitate to the blogs with 5000 readers because to me it is like going to a big party. I hate big parties. I'm a let’s-have-a-couple-of-people-over-for- steaks, my-homemade-cheesy-scalloped- potatoes,-strawberry-spinach-salad-and-molten-lava-chocolate-cakes- with- a-nice-bottle-of- wine-out-on-the-deck-kind-of-gal. And yes, you are invited. But that’s just me. I do read the Nester because I have been reading her blog since she had something like 10 readers.

Just about every blog I click on has something to offer. Some aren’t my cup of tea, others leave me wanting more, and others are well, you know, they’re trying. I think all of us who blog enjoy the writing aspect of it as it satisfies a creative need and is a non-threatening way to make your voice heard. But at the end of the day, the blogosphere brings all of us mommies, mommies-to-be, and mommies in waiting, who sometimes feel like we have lost ourselves in the lives of kids, jobs, and laundry, together for a brief moment or two, (or hour or three or more) with people we wouldn’t otherwise meet because of proximity. Oh sure, I have friends here that do that for me, as well. But I love getting to “know” people around the country and Canada. And I love the community of Christian women I've gotten to know. I am more bold about my faith, and my walk with the Lord in this space than I am in real life. But, I have also learned so much about the Christian life from many of you. I cannot tell you how many times I have clicked on one of your blogs and have known immediately that the Lord was sending me there for a reason as he either wanted me to be convicted of or reveal something to me. That is so humbling and exciting. No matter how much traffic you get, rest assured, when you are "doing as unto the Lord," your words are being used as Divine instruments. That is something I truly wasn't expecting when I started this whole blogging thing. God is so good isn't HE? He even uses this vehicle to further HIS kingdom in a mighty, fun, and creative way.

Now that I have established relationships with so many of you across North America, I often wonder if we met in person, would it be the same or different? Would we enjoy each other's real words as much as we enjoy each other's written words? I would like to think so. I honestly believe that all of you are sincere and genuine people as I can usually sniff out the phonies, and I don't "hang" out with them in real life or here. I'd like to think that if I were ever in Georgia, Washington, Colorado, Iowa, Indiana, Texas, Pennysylvania, Canada, Idaho or wherever else you are, that I could look you up and hang out. And likewise, if you were to ever visit the Nation's Capital, I'd leave the light on. Just give me fair warning so I can tidy my house, prepare a fabulous meal, and get my hair restored to it's natural color if I am in between appointments ;).

Okay, enough sap... my next installment is about "Comments and Lurkers." Speaking of which, you won't believe what happened to me this week as a result of a comment....

Meanwhile, do you think we would ruin a good thing if we actually met in person?

pardon the interruption

2008-05-29T13:12:00.012-04:00

Me oh my, look what I see...

After months and months, could it be...

It's true, it's true we scored a Wii!

A Note to my real life friends: mum's the word to my kids! It's their Christmas present!

Mommy Blogging - "A Complete Facelift"

2008-05-28T09:11:00.012-04:00

If you are just joining me, I am taking you on my journey as a "Mommy blogger." Yesterday, I told you how I got started. Today, I am going to tell you about getting a literal and figurative "facelift."

At this point, I sent the link to friends and family letting them know that I had set up this blog and was going to regularly post pictures and stories, since, hello, they ALWAYS asked. This would also feed my creative side as I don't think I'm too shabby of a writer and can make things interesting now and then, not scandalous, just interesting. At least I think I can, oh wait, maybe that's why NONE OF THEM WERE ACTUALLY INTERESTED or even bothered to click on the URL. Whoa. Didn't see that one coming. I think a few of them tuned in once to say, oh “that’s cute.” Cute. Cute. Cute? You’re kidding right. To this day, my father has only read my blog a handful of times and that is when I have begged/ directed him to look at something in particular about the kids. However, he does find the time to send me hoax emails once a week that I have to send back with the Snopes URL showing him it’s bogus. Sheesh. Where's the love. But, thanks to a about a dozen or readers all of which I knew but, ahem, weren't related to by blood, I pressed forward and resolved myself to the fact that this whole endeavor was really a legacy for our family, and I was fine with that. I wasn’t going to beg anyone to follow our story if they weren’t interested, including my own family and best friends. Besides, I enjoyed writing it even if I was writing to myself....and my husband and Veronica, and Lauren, and Courtney and Trudy, and Kathy and my brother-in-law Barry and my two sisters-in-law.

Eventually, in keeping with my almost physiological need to re-decorate on a whim, I decided this past January that I wanted to change the name and get a "facelift." In talking to my now 8 year old daughter about a new title, she suggested I name it “This is the Life” since it was about, well, our life. Wow. She was able to capture the essence of something so esoteric in a split second, after I had been struggling to come up with anything catchy let alone meaningful. So I, obviously, ran with it. I then contacted Darcy at Graphically Designing about the facelift, and a week later I had my current format. (Whew, glad I knew Darcy when she had no queue...now you have to wait months because she is in such high demand.)

As a result of the facelift, and as I began to read/comment on other blogs, I started getting more traffic. Yikes. Who are you people? And how did you find me? Complete strangers were tuning in to see what I was writing. It was a little weird at first. Why are they interested in me and my kids when none of my closest family or friends should be and aren’t? Ah, who needs family! I have new friends, wink wink. You all live in my laptop, but who cares. So, let me give a shout out to IP Address 123-456-78900 from Timbucktu or IP address 98-7654-321 from Kalamazoo. I have no idea who you are, but I love the words “Multiple visits spread over more than one day” next to your IP Address. That means "you like me, you really really like me" or you think I'm a train wreck and can’t help yourself. Been there, done that myself.

Moving right along…

During the whole nine months that I blogged under “Woven and Spun,” the focus was our life, and stories and pictures of the kids etc. Unfortunately, that started becoming a problem with my daughter.

She hated it. I mean H-A-T-E-D it.

It began to be a point of contention for her because she felt that every aspect of her life was a bloggable moment or a photo op to complete strangers. Well, yeah it is, was, and what’s wrong with that? As a result, I cannot tell you how many pictures I have of the back of her head or pictures like this:

Nothing like cooking in Mommy's boots.

Her daily question became a string of plaintive pleas:

“Mom, you aren’t going to put this on your blog are you?

“Mom, this better not be on your blog.”

“Mom you didn’t put that on your blog, did you?”

Well, maybe, sorta, kinda, I did.

But then one day she saw I had posted something that she didn’t want posted and lost it.

That is when I realized her protestations had merit, and I needed to respect her desire to keep her life private, after all, this is my hobby not hers. (That is why I haven't posted anything about her 8th birthday last week.)
As a result, I was kind of forced to change the focus to well, me and the craziness that runs through my brain. Ah lucky you. I do continue to sprinkle things in about the kids but only after I have Lindsey’s permission. Kyle could care less. And, I have decided to keep a separate private electronic journal for me and Bob to add to that I will have made into a book.

So, as blogging for me began to evolve into something other than an electronic scapbook, my favorite friend serendipity made an appearance, taking me completely by surprise….

Meanwhile, do your closest friends and family read your blog?

Mommy Blogging - " How I Got Started"

2008-05-26T19:29:00.005-04:00

Hi. My name is Debbie, and I am proud to be a Mommy blogger. If you are reading this, you probably are too. I’d like to welcome you to my 400th post. Yes, that is 4-0-0. Four Hundred. Four-Zero-Zero, and if I knew any language other than slang English or could remember roman numerals, I would translate 400 into something more interesting. Alas, I don’t, so you are stuck with 4-0-0. So pedestrian, I know. Anyway, in preparing for my big 400th post, I knew I wanted to talk about the evolution of my blog and blogging in general, but it turned out to be 5 pages, single spaced in a Word Doc. Uh. Hmm. Not gonna work. You all can’t be that interested in me to stick around in one sitting for that nonsense.

But then it happened!

While dipping my feet into a vat of HOT WAX during a mani/pedi this morning, I had a brainstorm! I would break down my observations and thoughts on blogging into different topics that I know all of us think about or have thought about or don’t want to admit that we have thought about. Then while getting the hair ripped off my eyebrows, I realized the genius in my idea. If I do this as a series, I will have enough blog blather for a week! Oh clap, clap. I'm so smart. Then I realized that my eyebrows were burning and grabbed a mirror to make sure I didn’t look like the Joker.

Betcha didn’t know that I’d been blogging long enough to have 400 posts. Well, I do, and I have. Eons ago in blogger time, ya know way back in February, 2007, I started with a simple blogger template and a blog titled “Woven and Spun.” Today, I have a customized blog with a title that is the brain child of my daughter, and the whole thing looks and sounds nothing like it did 15 months ago. Here’s my story:

Prior to December 2006, “blog” had a negative connotation to me because the only knowledge I had of a blog was reading the uproarious stories in "The Washington Post" about a young woman who worked on Capitol Hill whose so called “blog’ became infamous for chronicling her (use your imagination) escapades with certain Hill staffers. Blogs eww ick. Blogs baaad. Blogs evil. Wait. Blog? What exactly is that? So I looked it up back then and learned that it’s the words web and log smooshed together to make weblog or blog as we know it today. (Can’t you imagine those tech boys dreaming this stuff up in their free time? Yeah, I make fun of them now. But the likes of Mr. Google and Mr. Ipod/Apple/Mac are laughing all the way to the bank driving their Ferrari’s, wearing their rolexes, and getting ready to jet off to the island they own in the jet they own.) Then I started reading my friend Courtney's blog which turned out to be an electronic journal of their lives and made for interesting reading. After about six weeks of reading her story, I had my light bulb moment, only this time hot wax was not involved. “Hey, I can do that! And what a great way to keep friends and family updated with pictures and stories of the kids.” So 15 seconds later I signed up on Blogger, and another 30 seconds later I was the proud owner of my own blog. All in under a minute? Really? Just like that? Yup, just like that. Gulp. Now what?

So, I titled my brand spanking new blog on a day I was particularly reflective and titled it “Woven and Spun” after my favorite Nichole Nordeman CD. I felt that title would be illustrative of our lives as it is so carefully “woven and spun” by our Heavenly Father. Then I did what all of you who blog probably did when you first started, I announced to my friends and family that I had set up this way cool website as a way to keep them current with the kids and our happenings including pics and stories. Yup, here's the URL, folks. All you have to do is click on it. Yippee! A built in audience! Seemed logical to reach out to them, after all, they were the intended audience. Right? Then something happened that I didn’t expect...

Meanwhile, how and when did you get started blogging?

Gotta question for ya

2008-05-24T23:48:00.012-04:00

How long go do you plan on doing this? Blogging, that is? I keep wondering how long I can keep this up. Reading, writing, making "my rounds" each morning like I'm a doctor or something. Well, isn't checking in on your laptop friends just as important? I keep wondering if we are going to go "through the change" together...oh that'll be good...bunch of crazy mommies who turned to their imaginary friends for a moments peace in 2008 and wrote about it, will be hyper hormonal a decade or so later and still turning to their imaginary friends for a moments peace, as well as writing about it. (Well for me it will be sooner) Something tells me that is an Alanis Morrissette song waiting to happen. So when do you plan on calling it quits, pulling the plug, signing off? And what does that even look like? I mean do you just hit "delete" blog and disappear into the blogosphere, forever, never to be seen or heard from again. Or have you ever even thought about it. Or is this just one more thing that only my weird brain conjures up?

Sunday Morning, May 25:
Oh No! I just got home from church and popped in to see what you guys had to say if anything, and I realized from the comments to this point that you all think I'm quitting or thinking about quitting this bloggy thing. I really appreciate the kind words as it made my day, but I think my words got lost in translation as I was just wondering out loud if you had ever thought about when and under what circumstances you would throw in the towel, if ever. For the record, I 'm not leaving nor have I considered leaving the blogosphere to this point. No sir. I have too many unimportant things to tell you. ;)

Check out this dream I had!

2008-05-22T09:52:00.004-04:00

I have some really bad news, I fell asleep watching most of Idol last night! I know you were looking forward to my recap. I was looking forward to writing it. GRRRR!! I am so bummed. I fell asleep pretty hard and had some crazy dreams, not the least of which was that I was back in college! Wow. It was kind of a strange. I dreamt that I was listening to Donna Summer, Bryan Adams, ZZ Top, George Michael, and watching Tom Cruise sing "Old Time Rock and Roll" in his skivvies. The dream was kinda fuzzy because I don't remember him looking like David Archuletta back then. Weird. Then check this out: I dreamt the USC Marching Band came on stage singing with some guy screeching out a song wearing white feathers. Whoa, is that a boa? Wait, USC marching band? white feathers? bad singing? Man, what did I eat for dinner last night? These are some kind of crazy dreams. Oh it gets better: I dreamt that Syesha sang a duet with the one and only Seal! Get outta here! Then Nanny Brooke was pickin and strummin and singing with Graham Nash! And then, here's the funniest thing ever: Gladys Knight's Pip's were Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downie Junior! No freakin way! Then I dreamt Simon apologized to David Cook for having "disrespected" him during his comments the night before. He actually said that, after watching the tapes from their performances, it was alot closer than he thought and that he didn't care who won! Wow! A mea culpa from Simon. It had to be a dream. Fortunately, I woke to the sound of "The winner of American Idol is.....David Cook." Yahoo! Yippee! So glad I was wrong in my prediction. I just thought all the teen girls who finished their homework early (or not) would be texting and dialin' for four hours straight for David A.

So here's who doing some happy chair dancing this morning:

American Idol execs: David Cook is redemption for Daughtry going out early a couple of years ago. They haven't had a superstar winner since Carrie Underwood. Daughtry made other record producers and himself rich selling millions of records. During that same year, Idol execs were trying to figure out what to do with Taylor Hicks and his Elaine-on-Seinfeld-inspired-dancing. He has since been dropped by his record label.

Disney Execs: They were praying for David A. to lose so that they could sign him this afternoon. In my armchair business analysis, that is his audience, his niche, and where he will become the next Zac Efron only with talent....or the next lead singer of a boy band like the Jonas Brothers who were, coincidentally, also in my dream last night. Told ya, crazy.

David Cook: He isnt' the best pure singer. But he can sing AND perform AND is destined for superstardom. I'll buy his CD or download iTunes to my mp3 player (which thanks to sweet husband I now have). But the best news for him, is that he didn't lose to "Baby Elmo" as one of the writer's in The Washington Post so affectionately calls David A. Let's hope Cook's head doesn't get too big, figuratively speaking, because as Tiffany (oops, I mean Heather ) pointed out to me in her last comment, it is literally and distractingly HEYUGE...especially standing next to Ryan.

I will eventually go back to watch the show on Tivo to see what happened while I was taking my nap for the first hour and forty-five minutes. However, I'm not sure it could top my dream. No way. It was too vivid and too weird to be real. Until then, care to fill me in?

One last time, pretty please.

2008-05-20T22:27:00.008-04:00

Don't leave! I'm doing this as a service to my real life friend Julie in Budapest, Hungary who has to download Idol and watch it on the computer, yeah, uh huh, that's it. You buyin that? You shouldn't. Just indulge me this one last time because it will be 8 months before I get to hear the following words again:

by Ryan:
Hi, I'm Ryan Seacrest and this is A-MERiCan Idol
Please say hello to our judges....
The phone lines will be open for...
Please dial or text....

by Randy:
Dawg, you can sing the phonebook.
Dawg that was molten hot.
Dawg you are in it to win it, baby.
Dawg that was just a'ight for me.
Yo Dawg, so check it out, check it out.
Dawg, I've been saying this for weeks...
Dawg, it was a little pitchy especially at the high notes, but it was a'ight.

by Paula:
You are who you are.
You are the colors of the rainbow.
There you are standing in the truth. (Oh yeah, that was tonight's goodie)
You have a beautiful wonderful instrument.
It wasn't your best performance, but you look beautiful.
You, my dear have arrived. And I applaud you.
You, uh, are, oh, just, so , oh, I, just, want to squish you so that your head pops off and I can dangle it from my car mirror. (Did that make sense? No? Good. It wasn't supposed to.)

by Simon:
That was utterly horrible.
That was utterly fantastic.
That was completely and utterly horrible.
That was completely and utterly fantastic.
That was completely and utterly the wrong song choice for you.
We are at the point in the competition where...
I just don't see any improvement...
If I were you, I'd pack my bags....SORRY.

by Me:
Ryan wore more eyeliner and make-up tonight than I did.
The whole boxing thing was, how shall I say this...L-A-M-E.
Nokia must have paid big bucks for product placement at the Nokia Theater, you know the company, Nokia, that sells Nokia electronics or Nokia phones or Nokia whatever. Oh you didn't hear? The show was at the Nokia theater.
Did anyone catch Luke Perry in the audience? Yup, fresh from the Peach Pit.
What's wrong with this picture: Ryan commented that the title of American Idol is only reserved for superstar status while the screen flashed pictures of Kelly Clarkson (winner), Carrie Underwood (winner), AND Chris Daughtry (tisk tisk. He never held the title of American Idol but is a certifiable superstar). Oh I smell controversy. (In my best sing song voice: Idol dissed the other winners, nanny nanny boo boo.)

(From here on out, David Archuletta is "Little David" and David Cook is "Big David."

Do you think Andrew Lloyd Webber has a crush on Little David?
Big David as gone from gooberish to rock star before our very eyes.
Does Little David really only weigh 100 lbs?
Does Little David's Dad give anyone else the creeps?
The second song Big David sang (fan written contest song) sounded like it was about to break into the melody from "Jessie's Girl."
Those fan written songs they had to sing were awful...just awful...think bubble gum and cheap perfume.
Little David was phenomenal tonight. His version of "Imagine" is better than John Lennon's. Oh geez, was that heretical to say? Because aren't the Beatles kind of like Bruce Springsteen. Ya gotta just nod your head and pretend you like them...or else.
Big David's last song was amazing. Gave me the goosebumps.
I thought both David's were going to start crying. Oh wait, they did.

And finally, here is my prediction:

Little David wins.
BUT, Big David really wins.

So now, I bid you adieu, au revoir, good night.

Your thoughts?

a drive-thru blow to the ego or just funny?

2008-05-19T00:01:00.006-04:00

Last Wednesday night, my daughter had her second grade music program at school. So instead of stressing about preparing and cleaning up dinner, I said the five magic words every kid loves to hear: "Let's go get Happy Meals." "Yay! Yahoo! Mom, you're the best." Doesn't take much does it. So we load up into the car. (Does a Tahoe count as a car? I don't really like calling it a truck. That sounds, so...so...so not me...Besides, we call her "Tasha"...that's not very "truckley") Everybody buckled? Yup. Ok, let's go. We arrive at McDonald's and pull up to the window of the drive-thru. I order two Happy Meals and the worst crispy chicken salad ever made, complete with limp lettuce and sparse veggies. (Blech. Chick-fil-a is the gold standard for fast food salads. The rest are imposters. Alas, I digress. ) Meanwhile, the kids are in the car chatting and the twenty-something male cashier hears them. He then looks in and says "Oh you have two bebes with you." I'm thinkin', well one is almost 8 and the other is 5, and they don't have pacifiers in their mouths so I'm not sure they count as "bebes" but decided it wasn't worth mentioning so I said, "Sure do."

And then it happened. The comment I thought I wouldn't hear for another 20 years:

"Oh look at the bebes with their grandma."

Let me repeat that for you:

"Oh look at the bebes with their grandma."

He. did. not. just. call. me. what. I. think. he. did? Or did he? At that point all I could hear was the echo "Grandma. Grandma. Grandma. Grandma." I looked at him slack-jawed and speechless and thinking that there is no way he can possibly think that I am their grandmother.

This is a granny:

This isn't...

And then I started laughing uncontrollably. Laughing so hard that I don't even remember paying the guy who, at this point, had no idea what was so funny. Then The Princess yells from the back of the car, "Mom did he just call you our Grandma?" Amidst my tears of laughter and fits of giggles, I eeked out "Yes he did sweetie...bahahahahaha." Then she says, "Mom, there is no way you look like a Grandma. You don't have wrinkles and white hair." Oh, I love that child. Her birthday is this week. She can have whatever she wants.

After I grabbed the food and drove off, I realized that, yes, there are people my age that are grandparents. Albeit YOUNG grandparents. I also realize that there are cultures of which he is part of that typically marry (or not) and have children much earlier than me and the majority of my closest friends who all got married and had kids later in life. So yes, to this guy, someone my age probably is the grandmother. But come on, I don't look THAT old to garner a grandma comment. With a little bit of help from TimeWise by MaryKay and being blessed with my Italian grandmother's skin, I don't have alot of wrinkles other than some laugh lines around the eyes WHEN I laugh. Oh, and and I pay big bucks to get my hair restored to it's natural color every 6 or 7 weeks, so you gotta look hard for that gray. Right now, anyway ;)!

I am so glad it made me laugh, and that I am secure about who I am at 44. Because that really could have been a "drive-thru blow to my ego" if I had let it. Some people are weird about age. I, however, don't care, don't hide it, don't have a problem telling people when asked, and don't understand what the big deal is. So yes, I just thought it was really, really, funny. The whole exchange crumbled my bloggers block giving me a quintessential blogworthy moment and one of the hardiest laughs I have had in a long time. And I'm still giggling out loud as I type this several days later. I hope you have enjoyed a laugh at my expense...you should. It was really, really funny.

Oh, and as an aside, when I was searching for Granny Clampett's picture, I learned that she and I share the same birthday. (61 years apart, that is) Well, we did, as she is no longer with us. But the irony of it wasn't lost on me...no sirree.

Oh what a beautiful morning...or is it?

2008-05-17T11:54:00.013-04:00

It is a beautiful gorgeous day here in Virginia.

And I am:

trapped answering phone calls from doctors saying "yes The Princess's strep test that we cultured overnight came back positive for the second time in two weeks,"

picking up yet another, stronger, prescription because the antibiotic we just finished this past Wednesday wasn't strong enough to kill the bacteria from the first round of strep, thankyouverymuch,

ignoring my son when he told me that he has a headache because I thought he just wanted a dose of motrin like his sister,

watching my son fall asleep in the middle of the morning when he NEVER does that,

listening to my daughter yell downstairs that The Prince is now throwing up, all over my side of the bed.

kicking myself for not believing that he really wasn't feeling well this morning when he complained he wasn't feeling well this morning. Because I am pretty sure he has strep, too. And the doctor's office is closed.

Another soccer game missed. Another week of church missed. Another day trapped in the house. Time to go do one of my projects while they watch TV guilt free.

Deep Sigh.

The Prince

2008-05-16T17:45:00.005-04:00

So the Prince (my son) tells me today that his pre-school is almost over and that next year he will be going to kindergarten at the "hellelementary" school. In between my chuckles I tried to correct him, but it was so stinkin funny I don't think he got it. He then rattled off the fruits of the spirit to me, correctly, in order, but when he got to "gentleness," he said "gentlemaness" which I thought was brilliant. True "gentlemen" are gentle. Just like his Daddy whom he adores.

PS...After getting a hair cut yesterday, he looked in the mirror and said "lookin good, lookin good." Are you kidding me??? Where did he get that from?

PPS...Tonight he was singing a song before bed and kept singing "wonderful, marbleless, God loves us." I told him it was "marvelous." He disagreed and said "No, Mom it is "marbleless." Well okay, "marbleless" it is.

PPSS...Just to see if anyone is paying attention. The answer to the brainteaser is 10,990.

Are you smarter than a 5th Grader Friday

2008-05-16T10:08:00.004-04:00

I really intended to post last night. And I wanted to post something really funny that happened to me the day before. But, I had alot of problems with blogger or internet explorer and was unable to do some things. I even accidentally deleted my list of blog links. WAAAAA! So now I have to re-build that sometime over the weekend. Warning: please don't be offended if I forget to link you back up. That list was getting long, and I need to go and find all the URL's that I have bookmarked. But you really didn't tune in to hear all that.

Again, I am short on time, so I will post my funny story later. Since it is Friday, I will post a quick brainteaser that my father-in-law sent me. I'm told this is a 5th-grade math problem. The answer is actually the password to open an excel spreadsheet that has a list of people who have solved it. The idea is to then forward it on. (I am not an email forwarder so I'm not asking you to do that.) I wasn't able to attach the spreadsheet to this post. Just leave me a comment that you want to take a guess, click on the email link on my sidebar, and I'll forward the spreadsheet to you. I haven't attempted it yet, so I am going to play along as well. I don't think I left out any pertinent details...oh gosh I hope I don't mess this one up, too. If you don't want to play, I won't be offended.

Read the problem carefully. It is recommended you use a calculator.

This is not a trick question. It's a real math problem. Read the problem carefully. See how many times it takes you to get it solved.

Here's the problem :

There are 7 girls in a bus.

Each girl has 7 backpacks.

In each backpack, there are 7 big cats.

For every big cat there are 7 little cats.

Question: How many legs are there in the bus?

DON'T COUNT THE BUS DRIVER!

To my friends living in my laptop

2008-05-15T08:13:00.007-04:00

I think the block is broken. That's the good news. The bad news is that I don't have time today to post anything. So for now, I will just post that I have a post and hope that you will come back later to read it.;) Meanwhile, enjoy this Todd Agnew song....Oh and about music, I learned after reading comments on one particular blog that we all read and that I don't have time to link to at the moment to give her credit, not everyone likes music on blogs. Some of the commenters went as far as to say that if they hear music pop up on a blog they never come back. To which I say, that's too bad. Because if you dismiss any of the blogs on my sidebar that have music, you just don't know what you're missing. You can always turn down the volume.

I'm keeping the music.

PS. Today is Thursday. I clean on Thursday. Right now I have Windex in one hand and a plunger in the other (I'll explain later.) I've checked in on a couple of you in between toilets, but now I have to turn this thing off for the day or I'll never get anything done. So I have decided that I am going to reward myself tonight with a good ole sit down with a glass of wine and catch up on "my reading"...you know, the clicking kind. I have tried to cut down on that "reading" this week, but I have totally missed the party. Care to join me? And will that be Cabernet or Chardonnay?

Wanna watch Idol with me?

2008-05-13T22:04:00.014-04:00

Well, even if you don't, you're gonna. Because I'm typing while I'm watching. And all you non-Idol fans, please just stick with me for this week and next. Like I said yesterday, ya gotta love me through my blogger's block.

Queue hard charging Idol music....

Ryan: We are down to three contestants. It is THE closest the competition has ever been (yeah, uh huh, sure.) Tonight our contestants sing three songs: one chosen by the judges, one chosen by the performers, one chosen by the producers. One of them is on the brink of superstardom. All of them are at your mercy. THIS....is A-MERican Idol.

Queue more hard charging Idol music....

Welcome to Idol. I am Ryan Seacrest. Let us say "Hi" to our judges...

Say hello to Raaaaandy Jackson. "Yo, what up dawg."
What the heck is he wearing? That is a baaaaad shirt. And I don't mean good, bad. I mean, bad bad. Is he leaving for the islands soon? And please explain to me why he is wearing candy bracelets?

And here's the lovely, talented, and "glittery" Paula Abdul.
I'm not making this stuff up people. I'm just typin what I hear. I gotta say, she does look lovely not to mention lucid. Oh and glittery.

And the man that hasn't aged a bit since we started, "Simon Cowell!"
Yeah, and he hasn't changed that sweater either.

Clap, clap, boo, yahoo, clap, clap...The girls in the mosh pit screamin and hollerin. When did they start that mosh pit? How much do you think they paid to get into that thing. And don't they all look like they are dressed for prom?

Ryan: Ladies and Gentlemen, here are your top three contestants: One of them is the next American Idol (Oh really. Glad that was clarified for me. )

All our contestants just arrived back from home town visits. Let's go to Murray City, Utah where David Archuleta received a heroes welcome (I made that part up) from the motorcycle mustachioed mayor (my words, not Ryan's but he did have an awful mustache) Mayor so and so says, "David Archuleta, I have a very special message from someone who really really loves you (I am so creeped out right now). 'Please tell David that I have chosen "And So It Goes" by Billy Joel for him to sing this Tuesday.' Signed "Forever Your Girl," Paula Abdul." Gross, ick, I need a shower. She is old enough to be his mother.

Cheers and Applause (well that is what the closed caption said, anyways)

Paula: I chose this song for you David to showcase your vocals. It will exploit your beautiful voice. (Now I really need a shower.)
Ryan: What do you think, David.
David: It's a really pretty song. I'm excited. (Yeah sure he is. What he's really thinking is "Who's Billy Joel?)

And he sings, "And so it Goes"

Judges had this to say:

Debbie: Not bad, not bad. I thought it was really good, actually.
Randy: David, check it out man. You know what I'm happy about at this moment for you? (No Randy, tell us.) Paula chose a "dope" song for you man. (dope=good. Surely you knew they were synonyms.) You can sing anything, man. That Billy Joel thing works for you, man. I would love to see you on the piano, man. It don't matter, dude. David A is in the zone. You are in it to win it, baby." Yes, all of this word for word from a 50 something year old man.
Paula: It was pure and stunning and you are a story teller tonight. And it was beautiful and so on and so on and so on.
Simon: Yeah, it was very good. No surprises. A bit predictable.

Next up: Syesha. "Oh would you look at that I got a text from Randy." "I'll be singing Alicia Keys something or other. Oh I just love her. Thanks Randy."

Here's what the judges had to say:
Debbie: Not bad. Not bad.
Randy: I am so happy you are peaking right now. This is why you are staying in there at number three" Wha? Isn't that a dig? Staying in at number three means you aren't going to the final two.
Paula: You're beautiful.
Simon: You sang well. It was too predictable.

I'm losing steam here folks. I need to start paraphrasing.

David Cook appeared on the Fox affiliate wherever he lives and just so happened to receive a text from Simon saying that he would be singing a Roberta Flack song. He grimaced.

Debbie: That was my favorite performance of his so far. I literally had goosebumps.
Randy: Check it out Check it out baby. You can sing. You can sing the phone book. I'm a big fan, but I wish Simon would have picked something less predictable. I wanna see you rock baby. (He sang Roberta Flack, Randy! Roberta. Flack. Not Robert Plant. How is that predictable?)
Paula: That is one of my all time favorite songs. You are now my second favorite person to perform it.
Simon. That was your best performance to date. Cowell and Cook win.

Well alrighty then.

Okay so the rest of the performances went like this:

Round Two: Contestant selection.

David A sang some hip hop song that made him look awkward and silly. The judges all but laughed and told him it wasn't believable. And it wasn't. It was awful.

Syesha basically did a strip tease to the song "Fever." Simon said, it was a "lame cabaret performance." It wasn't THAT bad. But it proves my whole theory that she is not cut out to be a contemporary recording artist.

David Cook sang a "Switchfoot" song. I love "Switchfoot," but it wasn't his best. Paula had the quirkiest comment about David Cook: There wasn't a beginning middle and end. Yeah. Ok.

Third round: producers pick

David A sang "Longer" by Dan Fogelberg which droned on L O N G E R than it should have. It was just all wrong on so many levels. I literally started to fall asleep during the song. What a buzzkill.
Randy said again "you can sing the phone book, you are in the zone, another hot one from you." What is he smoking. Randy, it was Dan Fogelberg. The song is played on adult oldie stations. It will never be hot. Tepid, maybe. Hot, never.

Paula said it was a lovely performance. Lovely! Lovely? Boys don't have lovely performances!

Simon said he wasn't going to criticize him, but the song and the lyrics were horrible. They were gooey. I'm sure David felt like he was the choir and Simon was a preachin. David had no say in the song selection.

Syesha sang some booty shaking tune that I think I've heard. Not sure what it was. All agreed that it was "a'ight" but they still don't know who she is as an artist. That's because she is really an actress who can sing.

David Cook sang "I don't want to Miss a Thing" made famous by Aerosmith. It was really really good.

For Randy it was just "a'ight." He's nuts. To use his words, it was "da bomb".
Paula stood giving him an ovation, also revealing that part of her blouse was leather or vinyl or rubber or what came to my mind," ugly." Nonetheless, she predicted with a sassy finger twirl that David C was going to the finals.
Simon then announced that David won the night.

And for the first time in weeks, I voted. And yes, for David Cook. Three times.

That's it. Gotta go. Peace out or whatever it is the "yutes" say these days.

I got nothin for ya today

2008-05-12T10:12:00.010-04:00

Nothing. Nada. Zippy. I can't think of a thing to talk about. You think with all the free time I had on my hands yesterday I would have been able to drum up a week's worth of posts and post date them now that blogger has that function. Which by the way, has revolutionized the way I blog. I just type up that bad boy, post date, publish, and voila, it appears on my blog when I tell it to. Those blogger boys and girls sure are getting smart aren't they? I did end up having a very quiet day yesterday because my husband took the kids to the mall while I lounged on my throne and started reading this:

It is engaging from the first page. But I will tell you, it is not beach reading. The words are big and small at the same time. (And what do we call that type of statement ladies?? Please look it up in your English textbooks. Quiz tomorrow.) My daughter also ended up having the meal she wanted for dinner (peanut chicken and rice that my husband whipped up) because it rained and rained and rained and rained and was forty five degrees and rained and rained buckets making it somewhat impossible to grill those steaks which are still marinating, as we speak, in something delectable and savory (and making my mouth water as I type, and it's only 10:30 a.m.) Hopefully we can grill them tonight...IF....it stops raining. Did I mention we had to turn on the heat in the house again...argggh.

FUTHAMORE, as my southern friends say, I debated whether to share with you my latest quirk. But since I got nothin else to talk about today, I decided to spill it. Last night,I had a dream about something funny. Not so quirky, I know. Quirky makes an appearance when I tell you that I made a mental note to myself within the dream (oh yes, you read correctly) that I needed to make sure I type up a post about the funny dream. I woke up this morning with three concerns, uh, (1) Why am I dreaming about blogging? (2) And gee, I can't remember what was so funny that I felt it was blogworthy. (3) And, oh bummer! I wish I could have remembered what so funny, so I would have something to post today. So ladies, as my one of favorite bloggers Heather always says, " love me through this." Both my quirkiness and my blogger's block that is.

I better go start the laundry.

Mother's Day! A day like no other, or is it?

2008-05-11T12:15:00.006-04:00

Ah, Mother's Day! A day to sleep in as I did. A day to be showered with gifts as I was (an MP3 player and a wireless photosmart printer, scanner copier and beautiful handmade cards from my kids. Yes, I am spoiled rotten. And, yes, I love it.) A day for a Super Big Gulp Diet Coke with lemon served to me along with breakfast in bed and my two kids next to me begging to watch Higglytown Heroes. A day for my husband to ask what I want for a special dinner while my daughter predictably announces "No, I don't want to grill steaks." To which I reply, "I don't care. I do." A day for which I chat on the phone with my sister while my kid's tickles and giggles escalate into screams and yells resulting in the repeat after me "Please, stop it, I'm on the phone. Please, stop it. I'm on the phone." A day for me to send my kids to their rooms to play together so I can have a moment of peace and quiet while looking at paint swatches. A day for me to listen to them fuss with each other in their rooms while they tackle for possession over the same stinkin library book, while the other 10 books yell, "read me, read me." A day for me to put them in not one but two time outs. A day for them to leave time out and give me one of "those" kisses where they use their entire face against my cheek to say "I'm sorry." A day for me to listen to them fight over the blue plastic science beaker that has been sitting in the basement forever forgotten and untouched until The Prince figured out how to do some cool experiments and now The Princess wants to play with it. A day for me to put them in time out within 10 minutes of their first time out for an undetermined amount of time so that I can read my book, or blog guilt free on my laptop, from my throne, sipping my diet coke with lemon while my husband does the grocery shopping.

Ah, yes Mother's Day is like any other day when you have kids. Only, I get to do what I want to do and not feel guilty about it. I hope you do, too. Have a wonderful day all you mama's, mama's to be, and mama's in waiting!

The answers and a mea culpa

2008-05-10T09:40:00.002-04:00

Okay, the first thing I have to say, is that I love you guys for playing along with me on my little game. The second thing I have to say is that I messed up my own game, but most of you, including the ones that sent me emails, got the answers correct anyway.

You are out of control.
One foot in the grave.
And for my mea culpa, here it goes: I messed up the last one: the puzzle should have been ten e's and a "c" for Tennesseee. But, I unknowingly left off the "c" .....duh.....(I really need to go get glasses...soon. ) So for those of you who wrote in "tennies," as in tennis shoes, you are correct as well.

Next week, I promise not to type it up when I am half asleep in the dark as I did this week. That's my story, and I'm stickin to it. ;)

Are you smarter than a 5th Grader Friday

2008-05-09T00:01:00.003-04:00

Welcome to "Are you Smarter Than a 5th Grader Friday." Well, they aren't exactly fifth grader questions, but I needed something catchy. And, hey, 5th grader Friday works for me. I'm not exactly sure how this is going to play out or if anyone is even interested in playing my little game, but I'm gonna try anyways.

Okie dokie. Now what.

On Fridays, I am going to post a brain teaser or two. I'm not sure how to best "collect" the answers. For now, if you know the answer, just indicate as such in the comments. If you want to share your answer with me to see if you are correct, just go to the sidebar and click on "Click here to email me." (I really need to get a nice little button for that.) I'll post the answers on Saturday or Sunday. We'll see how this works and what the response is. If it stinks, well then, ya can't blame a girl for trying.

Here goes nothing:

These brain plexing words and shapes, and their positions, can be used to derive a word or saying. Can you guess what they are?

Example:

Dribble

Answer: Double Dribble

Now it's your turn. These are three separate teasers with three separate and unrelated answers. Can you guess what they are?

you cont ol r
GR12"AVE
eeeeeeeeee

title of my memoir in 6 words

2008-05-08T00:01:00.007-04:00

My real life friend Angel at For the Sake of the Call (yes, some of those people on my sidebar are people I actually know in real life) has tagged me for one of those "meme" thingy's.

Here are the rules:

1. Write the title to your own memoir using 6 words.
2. Post it on your blog.
3. Link to the person that tagged you.
4. Tag five more blogs.

The jury is still out for me on whether or not I like these games, but when I read this one, I thought, oh, this will be easy. Ha. It really isn't. And perhaps that is why I don't like these games. They aren't usually topics that I am currently swirling around in my blogger brain so it throws me all cattywompus when I try to plan out my posts. Which, before you say anything, is not something I am particularly anal about. It's just that I try to think about topics for the week if nothing else spectacular is happening like, ya know, stopping the neighbor's mail. Having said that, it has taken me a full day and some teeth gnashing to come up with something that I thought would be appropos for the title of my memoir which in and of itself seems so morbid because I keep thinking a memoir is only published after you die and that is so far from true.

Are you ready for this? You will be shocked to learn that the title I kept coming back to and finally settled on is:

"I Don't Have Much to Say"

Oh the irony coming from a blogger whose about to publish her 400th post. Seriously, my memoir would be used for people with sleep disorders. ZZZZZZZZ. I really don't have anything of import to say about my life other than:

I am a daughter of the King.
I was born in Germany and have two siblings.

I'm a military brat.

I've lived in lots of places.

I had a cat named Eggbert growing up.

I hate dogs. (Don't tell me yours is nice. They all slobber, stink, and sniff)

I was one of the smart kids in school, but not as smart as my husband. He is super super smart. He is an electrical engineer and has an MBA (from Duke no less.) I only know how to spell Duke.

I went to college in Happy Valley. It was Happy. And it is a Valley. And it snowed alot.

I spent my single days, or what I call "Yuppie" years, hanging with friends in beach chairs both in our backyards and at the beach. Wine glass in hand usually.

I spent 15 years in accounting and finance. 8 years of which were spent at Marriott Headquarters where I met some of my lifelong friends. Alas, I never, ever want to go back into accounting. It is my fall back career now. Bo-ring.

I am an extremely private person. Maybe it's not that I don't have much to say, it's just that I don't want to ;)

I met the love of my life at work .

I got married at 34.

I have two kids.

I love my life.

I am living the dream.

The End

The in-between isn't spectacular or particularly all that interesting to anyone, not even me! So, you see, I really don't have much to say as I was able to sum up my life in a single blog post.

Now I'm supposed to tag five other people. But that feels a little like asking you to buy something from my kids for a school fundraiser or like receiving one those email letters saying you better pass it on to everyone in your address book in 15 minutes or your computer will explode. So I'm going to graciously skip that part of the Memememememememe game. If you want to participate, please do so and let me know. I will link you up so that others can see what you have to say. Or do as Jennifer P. did and leave a comment with your memoir title!

excuse me for a moment

2008-05-07T11:07:00.007-04:00

Ok, I have had a first. I just spit my water out of my mouth while reading a comment someone left on "The Name Cemetery" post. She said that a young friend she knows named their baby "Debbie!" Woo hoo. Oh wait, don't get too excited about it's resurgence, yet. They named her after, get this, THE GRANDMOTHER! I am laughing so hard right now that I can barely see what I'm typing. Again, my theory has been proven. My name has now fallen into the category of names you select because it was your GRANDMOTHER'S! I'm too young for this. Waaaaaaaaaaa.

Ok, resume reading whatever else you came here to read.

More Idol chatter

2008-05-07T10:33:00.008-04:00

This is gonna be easy ladies:

Syesha is setting herself up for a terrific career on Broadway. That girl can sing, and she can perform. However, she is not a contemporary artist that you want to listen to on the radio. She should stay this week unlike:

Jason Castro. He has gotta go. He botched up both songs, didn't seem to care and doesn't deserve to stay. His next career move is as a between-the-shows singer on Noggin where he can sit on a stool with a guitar, swinging his hair to and fro while singing to puppets. I have been a fan of his all along as I think he has a distinct voice and style that he could parlay into a lucrative career. But, he is so immature and isn't taking it seriously enough. He is going to look back on this one day with regret and CRINGE. From forgetting lyrics, to goofy interviews and mannerisms, the guy is no where near as polished as:

David Archuletta. He was good. Really, really good. And, he is a pro. But he is 17. And he lacks any type of stage presence or charisma, unlike:

David Cook. He wins. Today. Hands down. He sang that song from The Who better than The Who. I will prepay to buy his first CD. Other than Daughtry and Carrie Underwood, he is my absolute favorite Idol contestant. Ever.

OK. I'm done now.

Time to get back to ~~blogging~~ your mommy duties, or your job, or whatever it is you do in the mornings.

Can you guess who this is?

2008-05-06T18:04:00.008-04:00

I am actually a little embarrassed to post this picture, but my husband forwarded it to me today in complete and utter disbelief as to who it is. I was unable to figure it out so he had to tell me, and my heart just sank in sadness. She was a household name at one point, and trust me, you will be shocked.

Do you know who it is?

Yes, ladies, this is Oksana Baiul. The 1994 Olympic Gold Champion in Ice Skating. And sadly, she has not aged well. She is only 30.

The Name Cemetery

2008-05-04T23:30:00.007-04:00

It occurred to me recently, that I, "Debbie," have a Biblical name. Yes, indeed I do. It's "Deborah" (from Judges in the Old Testament) which is Hebrew for "industrious bee." I think. Wow, I just feel so, I don't know, trendy? "Debbie?" Trendy?! Trendy?! Ha. Ah yeah. Who am I kidding. It's more like outdated. I'd like to pretend I was named after a strong woman in the Bible, but I was actually named after the 60's movie actress, Debbie Reynolds. You know, mother of Carrie Fisher who was Princess Laia from the original "Star Wars." And, I'm not joking. That I was named after Debbie Reynolds, that is. (Am I Mom? Mom, are you reading, Mom? )Yes, my friends, I have entered into the generation of names that will soon no longer be in circulation like Ethel, Agnes, Mildred, Gladys, and Doris. You see, they are all in this little place I like to call :

The Name Cemetery
That is where names go when no one will ever use that name again because they are, like, so last year or last decade or in my case, last century. Oh certainly, there are names that will never be in The Name Cemetery, like "Lauren." It's too pretty and too classic. (Just like my real friend Lauren!) But, unfortunately, there is a plot ready for the name "Debbie" at The Name Cemetery. (Unless of course some contemporary movie starlet names her daughter "Debbie/Deborah" and then EVERYONE will want to name their kid "Debbie/Deborah" because it will be the thing to do and then "Debbie/Deborah" will be tres chic again. Got that?) Think about it. How many "Debbie's" do you know? If you do, how many of them were born after, let's say, 1975? I can tell you. None. Nada. Zippy. Generally, if you meet/know a "Debbie," she is in her mid to late 30's or 40's (which I am happy to announce, according to the people that matter, is the new 30. Oh, how convenient for me!) So I decided to do a little research on my name: I googled popular baby names and happened upon the Social Security Administration's website that, duh, keeps track of this stuff. I entered my birth year to find out where my name stood in popularity when I was born. Well, ok now, I had the 13th most popular name that year. You see, it was tres chic at one point.

Okay now let's change the parameters to the last 30 years: I had the 365th most popular name in 1977.

Okay let's change the parameters to the last 15 years: And this is a direct quote:

"Debbie is not in the top 1000 female names for any year of birth in the last 15 years."

Hold the laughter ladies. I couldn't find it anywhere thereafter.

See I told you. Just add "Debbie" to The Name Cemetery along with Ethel, Mildred, Agnes, Gladys, Doris, Irene, Alice, Louise, Betty, Lois, Jean, and insert- most-of- your-Grandmother's-names-here. So indulge me ladies in a moment of silence please.

Ok, that's enough.

Alas, misery loves company, and I need some younger friends in The Name Cemetery. So click on this site, Popular Babynames and let me know what number your name was in the year you were born (you don't have to tell me the year) and where it ranks as of 2006 which is the latest information they have.

And for my friend Lauren, you just can't play. Your name will never be in the cemetery. It was cool, blankety-blank years ago, and it's still cool now. No fair.